TITLE:  A Question of Truth
AUTHOR:  Andie Stabler
FEEDBACK:  Definitely!  I love feedback!  Please!  Please!  Please!
CATEGORY:  DoggettFic, Post-ep to The Gift.
RATING:  PG.  (Language)
SPOILERS:  The Gift
ARCHIVE:  Sure.  Just let me know beforehand.
SUMMARY:  Doggett struggles with the decision of telling Scully about the
events leading up to The Gift.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Once again, he's spending time at the Jefferson Memorial. 
*grin*  I love a man who thinks.

The X-Files:  A Question of Truth.
By Andie Stabler


Jefferson Memorial
10:30 pm

I died.

Jesus fucking H. Christ, I _died!_

That in of itself would probably have made the entire case, but it
seems like there's nothing about this whole thing that doesn't amaze
me.  A man that consumes illnesses, takes them on to be his own.  A
legend that led Mulder to take a desperate gamble with his own life,
then give up his chance when he saw the pain that man was in. 

I never knew Fox Mulder, except by reputation.  But somehow, I was
able to see what he was, what he was doing, where he was going with
this.  As A.D. Skinner said, I got inside his head.  And in the
process, I learned some valuable lessons.  He had tried to kill this
man in cold blood. 

No, that's not right.  There was nothing cold about it.  In fact,
there was something very warm, very compassionate about what he tried
to do.  He did what needed to be done, in many ways. 

Maybe I'm no closer to finding Mulder, but what I learned here may
just help me when I do find him. 

And I have to wonder about Agent Scully.  She had no idea what Mulder
was up to.  I'd stake my life on that.  (Hey, why not?  I've already
lost that bet once and lived to tell about it.)  Yet, she trusted him
enough to blindly sign off on reports covering this.  Should she know
exactly what she was signing off on?  A.D. Skinner tells me I'll ruin
both of them, as well as myself, if I report this, but should I at
least tell her? 

Her love for Mulder is pretty evident.  Yes, love.  I can only guess
how deep that love runs, but it is there.  And right now, with him
missing, it's really all she has to cling to.  What would this do to
that love?  What would she do if she found out he lied to her?  I
still remember the pain on her face when I handed her his medical
records and she had discovered he was dying.  He had hurt her by
keeping the biggest secret of his life from her.  What would this
knowledge do to her? 

I'm a great believer in the saying, "And the truth shall set you
free."  But since I've joined the X-Files, I've started to believe
that truth depends entirely on your point of view.  And thanks to this
case, I've seriously started to question that statement. 

I owe Agent Scully a lot.  I owe her my life several times over.  I
owe her the truth; the truth about what Mulder did, about the
compassion he felt, about the good he tried to do, about the man he
is.  There's just one snag in all of that. 

If I tell her that truth, if I tell her about the good he tried to do
as a result of lying to her, I have no doubt that it will dash that
trust, that love she has for him.  And if that's all she has left at
this point, if that's all that's keeping her going, telling her the
truth will destroy her.  Until Mulder comes back, she's my partner.  I
can't do that to her.  I won't do that to her. 

A.D. Skinner was right.  We both know what happened.  No one else
needs to. Especially not Agent Scully. 

And the truth shall set you free? 

Not in this case. 



Have fun! 

--Andie




"The only thing I know about the paranormal is that men are from Mars
and women are from Venus." 

--Agent John Doggett
"The X-Files:  Patience."