Title: Raining Sunshine (1/1)
Author: L. M. Shard
Date: 4-13-02
Email: lsshard@cox.net
Website: www.thefoxandhoundx-files.com 
Rating: G
Category: V
Spoilers: none
Keywords: Scully/Doggett UST, Scully POV
Feedback: Yes, please!
Archive: probably anywhere, just ask first.
Disclaimer: Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox own the wonderful 
characters of Scully and Doggett.  No copyright 
infringement is intended.
Summary: "I cry for what I've lost, for what I've missed, for 
what I won't let myself see."



RAINING SUNSHINE
By: L. M. Shard



It's raining, raining hard.  I sit curled up on my couch, 
watching it hit the windowpane and trickle down the glass.  
Over and over.  It is relentless.  And I sit.  Sit and think of 
the void within me and what I want, what I need to fill it.

I am tired, so very tired.  My body feels heavy and before I 
know it, hot tears are running down my face like the cold 
raindrops on the window.  I feel so alone, so lonely, so 
empty.  I know with one phone call, I could change that, but 
can I, can I make that call?  Or do I want to continue living 
in this self-imposed misery?  What am I so afraid of?  It 
can't be love, because I crave it, need it, not the perfect love 
that I've read about in books or seen in movies, but a steady, 
real, genuine love that will hold the test of time.  Rejection?  
No.  I have nothing now and if I reach out and fail, then I 
still have nothing.

More tears spill down my face and I barely know why I am 
crying, but it feels good.  I let them flow, unhindered in the 
peace of my living room.  The rain keeps falling, washing 
away the dust and grime, giving me a clearer view, as my 
eyes are blurred with their own rain, casting clouds upon 
my heart.  As the rain pounds harder against the earth, my 
tears flow faster, uncontrollably.  I cry for what I've lost, for 
what I've missed, for what I won't let myself see.  I cry 
simply to cry.

The rain lets up until it is just a spattering of intermittent 
drops.  A single ray of sunlight peaks between the thick, 
dark clouds and shines through my window, touching me.  
The rain stops and I find that my tears have as well.  Where 
there was darkness, now there is a ray of light and a 
glimmer of joy within me.

I touch the phone as I watch that slim ray of sunshine 
spread slowly over my leg, gradually illuminating it.  
Picking up the receiver, I put it to my ear as the light creeps 
up to my chest.  I dial his number and both my legs are 
engulfed in sun.

I count the rings and I think about hanging up, as a cloud 
passes overhead, cutting off the ray of sunlight on my body, 
striping me of its comforting heat.  Another ring, then the 
line comes alive, just as the cloud passes, allowing me to 
bathe in the sun once again.

"John Doggett."

"I need you."

"I'll be right over."

The line goes dead and my heart feels alive, as the ray of 
sunshine has engulfed me wholly in its steady warmth.


THE END