Stay
sophia999x
e-mail: sophia999x@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13, language
Classification: Way AU, ‘4-D’ Post-ep
Summary: What happened to AU John Doggett. The most common assumption is
that he died when Monica pulled the plug, and yes he did but....
Archive: Please ask first.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money.
He woke to the humming of machines, heard the slight hiss of the respirator
and the rhythmic beeping of various monitor signals, and realized they
failed.
<Monica, you were wrong.>
He opened his eyes and was quite surprised to see Follmer standing at the
end of his bed. But what surprised him even more, shocked him really, was
the look of total devastation on Follmer’s face. He remembered seeing that
look once before, it was the morning of his son’s funeral, he looked up into
the bathroom mirror after having shaved and saw that same loss reflected in
his own eyes.
*tap* Monica, where’s Monica?
He was tapping his finger to no avail. There was no keyboard.
“Agent Doggett,” Follmer was talking to him, or maybe not, the devastation
was not only reflected in his eyes but in his voice as well, “Agent Doggett,
why didn’t I listen to you? I’m sorry...”
All John could think of was that Monica had been arrested for his attempted
murder. Someone would have noticed the alarms had been turned off as well as
the respirator. Someone had to notice to turn everything back on.
<Brad, you ass, get a hold of yourself.> *tap* No charges. Back up any
story. Just get Monica.
Then Skinner was by his side. “Agent Doggett, you’re alright.”
<Fuck you, I’m paralyzed from the neck down, stuck in a world that’s not my
own, and Monica isn’t here.>
He was still tapping furiously, when Follmer spoke again, “What’s he doing?
Why’s he doing that? I thought you said he was paralyzed?”
A bodiless voice from his other side joined the conversation. “It’s a common
involuntary reflex action.” The nurse had walked around, looking at him,
curiously.
Skinner was looking at him too. Then John remembered. He slowed down, his
tapping became more deliberate, it became his voice.
“No, it’s something more.” Pulling out a pen, Skinner grabbed the nurse’s
notepad before she could object. He stopped writing after a few moments.
“What’s he saying?”
Skinner walked up to Follmer, bracing his shoulder.
“He wants to know where Monica is. He wants to see her.” Skinner turned to
the nurse, “Maybe you should go get his doctor.”
She nodded and walked out.
Follmer looked at Skinner, shocked, “He doesn’t remember?”
Doggett was still tapping.
“What’s he saying?” Follmer was getting angry now. <How could you not
remember Monica?>
Skinner reluctantly translated, “He wants to know what he should remember?”
Follmer choked, “Tell him. Tell him what happened.”
“Shut up Brad, let’s wait for the doctor.”
*tap* Fuck the doctor. Monica, what?
Skinner leaned down and squeezed Doggett’s arm, forgetting that he couldn’t
feel anything.
“Listen John, try to hang on. Monica wasn’t as lucky as you...Lukesh...she
didn’t make it.”
Doggett closed his eyes, suddenly all the pieces fell into place, <Oh my god
Monica, you were right. It did work. If I’m here, then you should have
‘your’ John back. I’m happy for you.> And then it struck him, if they did
succeed, his Monica was dead. Here in his reality, he failed his Monica. He
couldn’t stop the tears that fell from his eyes.
A strangled cry escaped Follmer’s lips, Skinner’s hand on his arm the only
thing holding him up.
The nurse returned just in time to grab Follmer’s other arm, “The doctor’s
on his way. Come with me Mr. Follmer. You need to sit down.” With Skinner’s
help, the nurse led Follmer out of the room.
They left John alone.
<How odd is this, alone, again. Without Monica, my best friend, I am alone
now. There’s no one I could ask what I asked of her. If only I could roll
over, I could smother myself. What good is this damn finger if I can’t reach
up and pull out the damn plug. If I lie here and will myself to die...>
For a brief moment he considered asking Skinner to do what Monica had just
recently done. He died once, no make that three times now, what would one
more time mean.
Then he ‘felt’ a warmness embrace him. He opened his tear-filled eyes to an
angel. She was wiping his tears away with a cloth.
<Dana, my Dana.>
“Hey,” she was choking back her own tears, trying to be strong, failing
miserably, “Hey, didn’t they teach you Zig-Zag 101 at the Academy?”
<She can’t tell, but coming from her this is a riot.>
“John, I’m, I’m sorry about Monica. I’m sorry about...”
He was tapping again. She wouldn’t know Morse code so what difference did it
make what he said now. *tap* I love you Dana. I just wanted to tell you
that.
A smile was spreading across her lips, a sparkle lighting her eyes.
John stopped tapping. Dana reached down and grabbed his hand. Again, though
he couldn’t feel her flesh against his, he could still ‘feel’ her.
She looked up at him, her smile turning into a wicked grin. “John, my father
was a Navy commander, we learned Morse before we learned to talk.” Before
John could respond, she became serious again, “John. I have something to ask
of you. I know I shouldn’t, you’ve done so much for me already. I know I’m
being selfish, I...” She let go of his hand, guilt dampening her nerve.
*tap* What?
With that one word, he was her old John again, her protector, her savior,
her welfare first and foremost. She knew she was taking advantage of him,
but she didn’t care.
“John, please don’t leave me. Please stay, stay and fight.” She looked down
at him, lying paralyzed, helpless. Looking into his blue eyes, stealing some
of his strength, she continued, “I’m a doctor, I know what your condition
is. I know what you want right now. But I don’t want you to leave me.”
<Say it damn it, give me a reason.>
As if she read his mind, she took his hand in hers again. This time her
nerve didn’t fail her, the strength flowed straight from her heart, “John, I
love you. I can’t live without you. I want you to stay with me. I want you
to stay so I can love you. I want to spend the rest of my life proving to
you just how much I’m in love with you.” Leaning down to whisper in his ear,
“I love you John Doggett, please promise me you’ll stay.”
John closed his eyes, and inhaled her scent. He could feel her cheek
brushing against his, her hair tickling his chest - he could feel her hair
tickling him - her tears joining his. <I’ll live. I’ll even walk again with
you by my side, helping me. Together we’ll both live and love.>
The warmth was spreading from his hand, up his arm, to his chest and into
his heart.
*tap* Hell yes, I’ll stay.
~fin~
