Title: Veracity
Author: Ali
E-Mail: ScullyTiger51@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13. Three uses of profanity.
Spoilers: Not really. If you find some PLEASE e-mail me so I can change it.
Site: http://lovingthex_fxf.tripod.com/foreverxfiles
Summary: errrmmm.... I hate these things. In the mind of Doggett.
Distribution: SURE! Please E-mail where it is going!
Notes: This is my FIRST Doggett fan fic! I'm so proud. I just hope I didn't totally ruin his character. :)

As I listen to the gentle lull of the computer, my fingers brush lightly over the keys. My former thoughts are shattered as my attention is brought back to the blank screen. Here I sit once again with no clue what to say. I always had the answers, always held the light when it was dark, now I am lost in a world that I use to be so sure of. .

I start typing the normal 'Case number X1021-1113' hoping that I will jump start my thoughts. Once again, I'm surrounded by silence except for the computer disc drive automatically saving what 'substantial' information I just typed of this case.

Again, my fingers brush lightly over the keys, hesitating to write what I know I saw. Though, if I write what I saw, what Agent Scully's science showed me what was unimaginable, I'll have Kersh chewing my ass off. I hesitate no more, and write what I know of the case, that will not raise too many questions. Just as all of Agent's Scully's early reports, it ends with 'Unsolved.'

I point and click and now the humming of the printer is heard through the small office. I stand up, straighten my clothes, and look up. I get one of those eerie feelings that you get when you see for the first time who you are. What you have become. I could live without those moments. I looked slowly, and carefully around the office. All the pictures of impossible things. How can one man become so obsessed in finding the veracity in all things. How can one moment, make him believe all the science fiction movies and books are true.

I know that there are things in the world that will never be explained, things that happen that our minds don't want to handle. Mine sure doesn't. I use to be a bit open to these things, a certain agent taught me how to be. But in the case of my son, the case that shattered most of my beliefs that man would ever change, that made me get my ass out of the NYPD and join the FBI to be in the bigger picture of helping man kind, to gain back that what I had lost, I only found more pain and suffering that I wanted to know of.

Out of all the places to be assigned it had to be The X-Files. In an office that use to be a copy room. I'm still looking for Mulder, that is the only reason I keep my sanity. That I'm actually doing something that could change the life of one woman. One vibrant woman that had lost everything and yet kept her faith. I never expected to care for her this much. I guess it's because we have both lost someone that kept our lives worth while.

I stop looking around and take the crisp, bull shit that I just wrote and place it in the file. I head to the door and I'm met by Agent Scully. She gives me a tired smile and heads to her partners desk. I long to ask her if she's okay, but I know how it felt when they asked me about Luke. She looks at me again with a perplexed look on her face and I give her another smile. Her grateful eyes show me that she understands my unasked question and I head to the elevator. I will fined Mulder. Not for me anymore, not to show myself that I still have faith in what I can do, but for her. To give one deserving person, the greatest gift they could ever get. As the elevator closes, the veracity of who I am, is revealed to me. For the first time in a long while, I smile a satisfied smile.

End