Of My Baby,
Destiny Rayn Hart
January 24th, 2000 to July 7th, 2000
Today I keep crying because I miss my Destiny so much. I can't think of anything else in the world that can make me as happy as she did, and does when I think about all the things she did. This is my story about my only baby girl.
I was 15 years old when I met my husband and I knew right away I was going to marry him, but when I was 17, I gave birth to my first son, Steve. He was so beautiful, he looked like a little man, he had some holes in his heart and a defect they call VSD. My husband and I got married two years later, and 7 months later I gave birth to my second son, Justice. He was four weeks early and the veins in his lungs were not fully formed. We finally found out that both of them were alright and the problems went away. When my youngest son was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant again, I was scared. I finally started seeing a doctor and they couldn't hear a heart beat. That's when I knew I really didn't care how many I had, or what other people thought. As long as my babies were alright, that was all that mattered to me. They did all kinds of blood tests to make sure everything was going smoothly. They did a sonogram and didn't see anything . After all the tests were over and done I was pregnant all along, but I was only a couple weeks and that explained everything.
When I was almost five months along we moved to El Dorado, where I didn't know any doctors and I was scared. I finally started seeng a doctor and they said everything was fine. Then I started spotting, I started getting all upset and I called the doctor and they did a songram. Everything is ok they said, and you are having a little girl. I was so excited, when I got back to town I went and bought a pair of pink booties and went to see my husband. I told him that the doctors told me everything was alright and they wanted me to give him these (booties). He just couldn't stop smiling.
I went into labor on a Friday, but they sent me home. That Saturday and Sunday I was still having contractions so I told my husband I was going to the emergency room, and as soon as I knew something I would call him. When they were monitoring me they kept saying itis going to be soon, so they admitted me in the maternity ward. The doctor who was on call tht night is who I wanted to deliver and he came to break my water, a couple of hours later.
I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl who had a headfull of blonde hair, with a little brown strip across the bottom. We named her Destiny Rayn. She weighed 6 lbs. and 1 oz. and was 18 inches long. She was so tiny and beautiful I was so happy she was here. We stayed in the hospital for three days and she ws so good all the time, even the nurses would come in just to play with her.When we got home I layed on my bed,staring at her and thinking, what have I done to deserve her? I loved her so much and she was still so new. She was always with me and quickly became a momma's girl, and I loved every bit of it. I remember her first bath, when I started the water her eyes just opened wide like she already knew she loved the water. She would kick her little legs and coo!
I remember when she started smiling because she never stopped. She was always so happy. She would just look up at me with the cutest look on her face like she knew that she was special. I would tell her that she was the most beautiful baby and how smart she was all the time. She was going to be a little heart breaker. Her little blue eyes would look at me like they could see my soul.
When she started rolling it was so funny because I would put a blanket on the floor and I would lay on the couch and we would nap together. One time I woke up to her talking and cooing in the middle of the hard wood floor. It didn't bug her a bit. I picked her up and there was a smile from ear to ear, I started loving on her, and talking to her.
Destiny loved being outside whether it was hot or cold, she loved the outdoors. When we started camping I was so worried it would be too hot for her, but she loved it. We took her swimming at the lake and to other friends campsites, she loved it.On July 6th, my birthday, my mother-in-law got me a cake and some ice cream. We all gathered around the picnic tables and Destiny loved that. She got cake and ice cream for the first time and you couldn't feed it to her fast enough. Earlier that day we noticed she had some diaper rash so I fixed her play pen so she could lay around naked for awhile to get some air. You should of seen her, she thought that was the greatest thing in the world.
That night I had to run to town to buy some diapers and wipes, so I put Destiny and the other kids to bed and gave her a kiss and said, "I love you".I put a sheet over her legs and tummy, she didn't like blankets. My husband went in the camper and laid down, and I ran to town. When I returned all of the kids were asleep so I got in bed. Around 1:30 a.m. I got up to get a drink of water and woke Destiny up. I bent down and gave her a kiss and said, "it's ok sissy, you can go to sleep, I love you". I patted her until she fell asleep. That was the last time I saw her alive. When my husband got up for work he found her. He screamed and woke me up and I saw her. I didn't know what as wrong because she looked like she was alseep. We rushed next door to my mother-in-laws and she called 911 while we started CPR. I didn't know for sure how to do it but I had to do something. I was in shock and numb to the world. When the ambulance finally arrived and took her to the hospital the police wouldn't let me or my houband go with her. They took me in first and a little bit later they brought my husband in. I was so scared, but in my mind she was goig to be alright.
To this day, I sitll miss her and I know I always will. Sometimes I just burst out crying so much and I get so mad, because I can't pick her up or give her a kiss, or even play with her little toes. I can't even wake her up early to see the smile she always had, and to get the hugs and kisses she had just started giving. These are the hardest things because no matter what, I will always have a baby girl, Destiny.
I wanted to share my story incase it helps somone else who loved and lost. I hope that when my time comes it will be a littler easier on my loved ones knowing I am with my tiny little sissy girl, Destiny Rayn.
Stacy M. Hart, a loving parent who lost the most beautiful gift of all...
Destiny Rayn Hart.
