She was trained under the leadership of Anthony Robbins,
a Master in the area of communications with Oneself and Others to achieve Excellence through Empowerment.
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"What we live with we learn,and what we learn we practice, and what we practice, we become....and what we become has consequences"......AND almost always, I have found, who we become has little to do with who we were meant to be.
What is Love Addiction, it is a disease that is rampant in our society. It goes hand and hand with many other addictions such as sex, food, work, drugs and religion, yet it escapes recognition because it is very subtle, even condoned and minimized
For love addicts, the feeling of "being in love" with another acts as the drug or mood changer, it gives them their "high." We see lots of this on the internet........folks "seeking" that Mr or Ms Goodbar. You often hear folks talking about "how lonely they are", and things will get better when, "they get someone in their lives".
Life without this feeling is not worth living, at least from THEIR point of view. Whether the love object is actually participating in the relationship or not is of less importance to the love addict then his or her fantasy, and the allure of the fantasy often precludes all possibility of a real relationship.
In extreme cases, love addiction becomes obsession, sometimes resulting in the stalking of and assaults on the object of "love".
The true nature of REAL LOVE is not taking a hostage or being taken hostage. The type of romantic love that I learned about growing is a form of toxic love.
The "I can't smile without you," "Can't live without you." "You are my everything," "I am not whole until I can find that "special" someone".........these messages are not descriptions of Love - they are descriptions of a drug of choice, of someone who has or will become like a higher power or false god.
True Love is not being a doormat. Love does not entail sacrificing yourself on the altar of martyrdom - because one cannot consciously choose to sacrifice self if they have never truly had a self that they felt was LOVABLE and WORTHY.
If we do not know how to LOVE our self, how to show respect and honor for our self - then we have no self to sacrifice. We are then sacrificing in order to try to PROVE to ourselves that we are lovable and worthy - that is not giving from the heart, that is codependently manipulative, controlling, and dishonest.
What is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, this is another term people throw around loosely.......and it sure isn't being a self-sacrificing doormat.
True Unconditional Love begins with Loving yourself enough to protect yourself from the people we love if that is necessary.
Unconditional love is not allowing other people to become more important than one's self.
It's not about suffering in silence, and taking all kinds of abuse. It's about the love and protection of self.
Until we start Loving, honoring, and respecting our self, we are not truly giving - we are attempting to take self worth from our behavior towards others.
I learned that Love is not about success, achievement, and recognition from others. If I do not Love myself - believe at the core of my being that I am worthy and lovable - then any success, achievement, or recognition I get will only serve to distract me temporarily from the hole that I feel within, from the feeling of being defective that I internalized as a small child because the love that I received did not feel loving.
You see this behavior in many "successful" entertainers and people in the public light, because their stories are always publicizied. Then you wonder, dang they had everything, what happened to them?
Many of us fail to see the same behavior in ourselves. We can't see how we seek to validate ourselves by what others think or feel about us.
I came to realized that this is what I had done for much of my life - tried to take self worth from those I loved by being a 'nice person', or the person who was never any "drama", the person who was becoming a 'success.'
I was the one for my family to lean on, the "heroine", the suffering marytr.
I was there to save everyone. I took the roles of the perfect sibling, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect friend...... this became my mission in life.......boy were those roles hard to keep up.......LOL. I didnt realize I was living my life for those I loved
I was miserable......there always seemed to be something missing......and by the grace of God, being the seeker that I am, I met a person who opened the door for me to embark on the quest of discovery.
The first step I had to take, which was the hardest things for me to do was to REALLY look at myself. To learn to stand outside myself and view the person I had become.....to be amused at my shortcomings, and to not allow others to cause me to feel guilt when I stood my ground.
Fortunately something happened when I started awakening to what love is not, I could then explore what was the True Nature of Love
I came to realize what I had been seeking, what I had been missing, was the overwhelming need to achieve the greatest love of all......the love for self......which is the TRUE NATURE OF LOVE
In closing, until we can be realistic with ourselves, learn to love and forgive self, we can never have good relationships whether it is with family, friends, or a loved one.
So today, start that love affair with yourself....... began focusing on the most "SPECIAL" person in your life......which is that man or woman in the mirror
Remember you truly are......."ONE IN A MILLION"!!!!!!! As Les Brown would say.....out of a million sperms......you made it.....smile.
E-mail Maybeso at club50plusnews@yahoo.com