Short Stoner Jokes
Q: How do you hide money from a hippie?
A: Put it under the soap.
Q: How do you hide pot from a hippie?
A: Put it in his work boots.
Q: What do you call 20 female hippies in a sauna?
A: Gorillas in the mist.
Q. What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?
A. Politicians don't inhale...they just suck.
Did you hear about the stoners that locked their keys in the car ? It took them two hours to get out.
Q. How do you get a one armed hippie out of a tree ?
A. You pass him a joint.
Q. What do you get when you eat marijuana ?
A. A pot belly
Q. What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs?
A. Double jointed.
Two stoners are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls. One says to the other i sure wish i could do that. The other stoner says you better get to know him better first.
Q. How do fish party?
A. Seaweed.
Q. What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
A. Malnutrition.
Q. What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock?
A. A Liar.
Q. How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ?
A. When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.
Stoner good fortune: When you are cleaning your room and find some hooch you forgot about.
Stoner Pick-up Line: Hey i have a 9 inch joint.
You might be a stoner if your bong gets washed more than your dishes.
There is a thin line between love and hate. Its starts about halfway through the joint.
Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of good pot.
Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner?
A. The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner will wait for it to turn green.
Q. Why did the pot head plant cheerios?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.
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