Title: The Cruise
Authors: Cassie & Kristi
Summary: The exciting season one finale/cliffhanger. The Lone Gunmen trick Mulder into going on a cruise with them (along with Krycek, Marita, Skinner and Scully) ... there is a surprise for him... oh and some surprise guests that will leave you wondering what will happen at the beginning of next season...
Spoilers: Nada!
Author's Note: We were really into description when we wrote this, therefore lack of dialogue. Feedback would be really great with this story, tell us what could make it better. Thanks!!
Disclaimer: We do not own the characters Mulder and Krycek, Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and 20th Century Fox own them.

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OVER BLACK:

We hear the familiar sound of keyboard keys clicking...

FROHIKE (V.O)
(irritated)
That's not it.

LANGLEY (V.O.)
(equally irritated)
Then you do it doo-hike.

BYERS (V.O.)
(in the distance)
I think I found it.

FADE UP:

INT - THE LONE GUNMEN OFFICE - DAY

We see LANGLEY and FROHIKE crowded around the computer with ACCESS DENIED on the screen flashing at them in bright red text color. Byers is approaching them with a piece of paper in his hands. He stops next to Frohike who grabs the piece of paper away from him and pushes Langley out of the seat.

FROHIKE
(to Langely)
My Kung Fu is the best.

He punches in a few numbers and it works!! Langley turns to Byers:

LANGLEY
(to Byers)
Where'd you find that? Byers stands there and shrugs his shoulders.

FROHIKE
(to himself)
Too fricken amazing.
(beat)
(to Langley and Byers)
Hey, hey... look at all the
transactions he's made.

BYERS
(points to screen)
He's got some big deposits.

LANGLEY
(out of nowhere)
Hong Kong, Tunisia, Paris,
Moscow, London, Singapore ...
geez this guy gets around!

FROHIKE
How much do we need out?

Langley runs over to another computer, we see a cruise boat graphic on the screen and the words "HAWAII"... Langley works his way around the site and makes one final click...

LANGLEY
And the magic number is?

BYERS
(holding up Krycek's credit card)
1013-0210-1228-3112

LANGLEY
... and the expiration date?

BYERS
11-01

LANGLEY
BINGO! All charges are accepted!
Our tickets should be here in
a week.

Off their evil happy looks we FADE OUT:

TIME CUT:

INT - AIRPLANE - ONE WEEK LATER
OCTOBER 13

MULDER
Ok, where are we
going boys?

LANGLEY
California. We're gonna
check out some hotties...
we're going on a cruise.

Off Mulder's confused, yet satisfied expression, we

TIME CUT:

EXT - CALIFORNIA PIER - DAY

CAMERA ANGLE BEHIND...

Mulder, Frohike, Langely and Byers.

Mulder is still dressed in his work suit and goofy tie, Byers has white tennis shoes and socks, tan khaki shorts and a Hawaiian t-shirt. Frohike is wearing flower printed neon pink pants with a yellow t-shirt. Langely is a bit more normal in jeans and a Dogstar (Keanu Reeves' band) t-shirt...

WE PAN UP FROM BEHIND THIS SILLY VIEW and see Krycek, Marita, Scully and Skinner, about 20 feet ahead of them.

Krycek is wearing Khaki shorts with Hawaiian blue background with orange flower prints on it and sexy sunglasses. Marita is wearing a white casual dress that is not at all skimpy, her hair is in a ponytail. Skinner is in the mood for the tropics and is wearing a white tank top with a Hawaiian print button up shirt that he hasn't buttoned up and it is flowing in the wind, and a baseball cap, he is smiling with his arm around Scully, she is wearing a one piece bright green swim suit with a black background red flower wrap around skirt (long).

Mulder looks at them and then at the Lone Gunmen and feels out of place, out of the corner of his eye he notices a small souvenir shop and he walks over and buys a "Hawaii or Bust" t-shirt... and puts it on over his nice suit.

CUT TO:

INT - CRUISE BOAT - HALLWAY - A DECK

The Lone Gunmen go off to their own room (they seem very excited about the whole cruise boat thing, their silly chatter blending in together), Scully and Marita go to their room and Mulder, Krycek and Skinner go to theirs (they are roommates). Everyone is pretty excited.

CUT TO:

EXT - POOL - DAY

SPLASH!!!! Water is everywhere as Mulder and Langley battle out who can make the largest cannonball splash from the diving board, other kids on the cruise join them... it looks silly.

KRYCEK
(yelling at Mulder & Langley)
Would you two stop that!
You're getting my hair wet!

SPLASH!!! Mulder makes a splash that completely soaks Krycek, Mulder surfaces, laughing, fills his mouth up with water and spits it out at Krycek.

LANGLEY
(laughing)
Good one Mulder!!

KRYCEK
(to Mulder, very pissed)
Ok (takes off glasses)
that's it! (strips off his
tight wet shirt)

Krycek dives into the water after Mulder. Marita and Scully exchange glances. Both enjoying the manlihood that is Krycek.

With this boyish play going on, Skinner, the grownup appears, not wearing any sunscreen or sunglasses. Scully noticing this...

SCULLY
Walter... you're gonna
get sunburned.

Scully flirtatiously stands up and puts sunscreen on her finger and playfully wipes it on Skinner's nose. We see arms and legs and water splashing in the Background, Mulder and Krycek are fighting. There is some shouting of Russian.

MULDER
(yelling at Krycek, BG)
Stop it Krycek!
(splashes water at him, Krycek
charges at him, and takes him under)

As Mulder and Krycek continue to fight in the Background, Skinner bends down and kisses Scully on the cheek.

CUT TO:

INT - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

A live pianist is playing "I Will Always Love You", recognizing the song, Mulder turns to Krycek:

MULDER
(laughing)
Hey! Remember the time
when you ... sang?!

Instantaneously we hear Skinner SNORT in the background, trying not to laugh.

KRYCEK
('why would you think that?' tone)
I do NOT sing, Mulder.

Mulder turns to Skinner and whispers:

MULDER
He was really wasted.

Byers approaches Mulder and asks him to step outside for a moment, he has a question about aliens and conspiracies... Mulder very much entertained with this agrees and he leaves the room with Byers. Scully carefully watches them leave the room and when they are out of ear shot she yells:

SCULLY
EVERYONE HIDE!!!

We PULL BACK as everyone hides in the room, we see Frohike switch off the lights and run to a corner.

TIME CUT:

10 MINUTES LATER

Mulder and Byers return to the dining room, it is dark and seems to be empty.

MULDER
What'd they do?
Blow a fuse?

BYERS
I think there is a
light switch over here.

Byers takes a few steps away and FLIPS on a switch, SUDDENLY A LOUD SHOUTS OF "Surprise Happy Birthday!!!" are heard and confetti is thrown at Mulder, Byers is in the corner clapping and smiling at his friend. Mulder at first is confused, then realizing it is his birthday, a GOOFY GRIN comes across his face.

MULDER
Aww... you guys remembered...

Skinner goes over and gives Mulder a 'manly' hug.

SKINNER
Happy Birthday Agent Mulder

Mulder receives pats on his back as he is lead to the front of the room, where there is a LARGE BIRTHDAY CAKE, with candles '3' and '9' lit.

MULDER
I'm so old you can't
even put 39 on the cake
without making it a firehazard.

Everyone laughs at his lame joke, you have to admit he is funny.

They all sing "Happy Birthday" to him and he blows out the candles. From all the laughing and talking we

CUT TO:

CLOSE ANGLE

FROHIKE'S FACE. WE PAN BACK to reveal a bright green pink polka dotten dinosaur tube around Frohike's waist, we PAN FURTHER BACK to reveal yellow flippers on Frohike's feet. A serious Frohike wades into the POOL. SUDDENLY a light from above is turned on, scared out of his swim trunks, Frohike remains still, not moving like a scared hamster there are camera flashes and laughter coming from Krycek. Krycek is surrounded by everyone that was in the dining room, they are all laughint at him.

MARITA
Alex... give me
the camera.

KRYCEK
NO!

MARITA
They you'll be
sleeping alone tonight.

Krycek quickly hands over the camera... he's a man. As they all watch Frohike scramble away, the NOSES OF MULDER AND KRYCEK smell the familiar smell of ... MAGAZINES!

The CAMERA PANS OVER to reveal MAGAZINE GIRL #1 AND MAGAZINE GIRL #2, looking as ditzy as can be.

MAGAZINE GIRL #1
Which one of you is
(seductively)
Fox Mulder?

Mulder looks at Krycek, disgusted that this thing knows his name and he points at Krycek and says to MAGAZINE GIRL #1:

MULDER
(pointing at Krycek)
He's Fox Mulder!

MAGAZINE GIRL #1 and MAGAZINE GIRL #2 go over to Krycek and start to gently caress his arms and face...

MAGAZINE GIRL #2
(to Krycek, seductively)
Happy Birthday Fox....

Off this horrible image... and dramatic music, we:

FADE OUT:

TO BE CONTINUED ...