Title: Death Is Only The Beginning
Written by: Cassie & Kristi
Summary: After "Road Trip (Part One)", we wonder whatever will happen to Mulder, Scully, Skinner and Marita, after Krycek drives them straight into a tornado in the middle of nowhere Kansas...
Spoilers: None...
Author's Note: We made this! Hope you enjoy the season!
Disclaimer: Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Marita, Skinner, Doggett, Spender, Kersh, Well-Manicured Man, Cigarette-Smoking Man, The Lone Gunmen and Monica Reyes are not ours by creation, they were created by Chris Carter, James Wong & Glen Morgan and are owned by 20th Century Fox and 1013 Productions, we use them without permission. The character Bindi Lawson was created by Ging, and is briefly used in this story with permission. Robert Alfredo was created by Cassie & Kristi. The characters of God and The Devil were not created by us either and we're not exactly sure how to state a disclaimer for them. The way God and The Devil are portrayed through our series is not to be taken seriously and is not intended to offend anyone, it's all in good humor.

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FADE IN:

EXT. GRAVEYARD - DAY

The skies are cloudy, rain is approaching in the distance. After a soft, hollow howl of the wind, we come to the funeral of Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Marita and Skinner. There are four coffins and one sarcophagus. The four coffins belong to Krycek, Scully, Marita and Skinner, the sarcophagus is Mulder's, they are surrounded by friends and family and people who thought it would look good if they showed up... such as Kersh. Doggett stands next to Robert Alfredo with the puppy on a leash by his side. The Lone Gunmen stand next to Alfredo... Frohike blows his nose into a tissue as Byers pats him on the back. Spender and Bindi Lawson stand next to Doggett, Bindi holding a tissue to her eyes. Standing next to them are The Well-Manicured Man (aka Daddy Covarrubias) and The Cigarette-Smoking Man. Behind them stand a handsome man (slightly resembling Brendan Fraser) and a woman completely dressed in bright red (slightly resembling Elizabeth Hurley). Everyone is quiet as the Priest Dude says what needs to be said...

PRIEST DUDE
(southern accent)
We are here today to put to rest
the deceased bodies of your friends
and colleagues... Fox William Mulder
Alex Sergeiovich Krycek, Marita Lynn
Covarrubias, Dana Katherine Scully, and
Walter Sergei Skinner.

Daddy Covarrubias sniffs and the Cigarette-Smoking Man pats him on the shoulder.

PRIEST DUDE
(Canadian accent)
May God watch over their souls
until they are out and about
in the clouds, away from us...
to never be here again... eh?

The woman in bright red snorts out a laugh and attempts to hide it with no success...

WOMAN IN RED
(British accent)
Yeah right... God!
That's a funny one...

The handsome man next to her nudges her with his elbow and indicates for her to shut up. He has a very serious expression on his face. Doggett gives the PRIEST DUDE a strange look... Mulder actually made up a will that stated he wanted this guy to speak at his funeral and burial... ok then... The Man With A Thousand Accents... is he really a priest? Probably not.

PRIEST DUDE
(Russian accent)
Ashes to ashes in the fireplace...
Dust to dust on my coffee table...

Langley can't take it any longer and bursts out laughing, the Woman in Red laughs with him... as their laughter fades, our screen shines itself into a bright white light....

INT. DANCEHALL IN THE CLOUDS - HEAVEN?

The dance floor is covered with fog. There are many people dressed as if it were back in the 1940s or 1950s, they are swing dancing to "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Louis Prima ... including Krycek & Marita, Scully & Skinner and Mulder all on his lonesome.... they are happy, enjoying themselves and completely oblivious to the fact that they are dead. As we pan away from them, we see the Handsome Man and Woman In Red (from their funeral) bringing out a decorative cake, with "Welcome To The Afterlife Newly-Dead" written on it with pink frosting. The Handsome Man is in actuality God, and The Woman In Red is in actuality The Devil... this is their welcoming party for the dead.

Off an angle on the cake, we:

FADE OUT

FADE IN:

INT. DOGGETT'S OFFICE - 11:16 PM
3 WEEKS LATER

The room is brightly lit, Doggett is on the phone, looking a bit irritated as he looks at a piece of paper... not paperwork though. Agents Spender and Alfredo are also in the office sharing looks, reacting to Doggett's behavior... when they should be following up leads in a case they are working on. Doggett slams the phone down and lets out an angry sigh.

SPENDER
(concerned)
Agent Doggett?

DOGGETT
(snaps/loud/pissed)
All I ever ask for is that
they prepare the pizza without
anything but cheese! But no-oooo
the pizza guy thinks that means
extra tomato sauce!

ALFREDO
(quiet/hesitates)
Maybe you need a vacation...

DOGGETT
(mad about that now)
No! I don't need a vacation!
I just need a frickin' descent pizza!

Doggett picks up a pizza box and frisbee throws it over to Krycek's desk, landing in front of Spender. Alfredo and Spender jump back a bit as Doggett plops back down into his chair and almost topples over.

TIME CUT:

INT. DOGGETT'S OFFICE - 3:28 AM

Spender has fallen asleep at Krycek's old desk, with an empty pizza box underneath his chin. Alfredo is fighting hard to stay awake...

DOGGETT
Agent, I'm telling you this isn't
bothering me... it's been three
weeks... life goes on... (dishonest)
I'm over it.

ALFREDO
Then why won't you go out to
Manner's Bar with me tomorrow night?

DOGGETT
I'm busy-

ALFREDO
-Doing what? (beat) Counting pizza
slices on your office walls?

We pan over to see the office walls and notice that there are perhaps 40 slices of pizza stuck on the wall. We pan back over to Doggett.

DOGGETT
(in all seriousness)
Hey! Those were bad cheese pizzas.

Off Alfredo's heavy, tired sigh we

CUT TO:

INT. DANCEHALL IN THE CLOUDS

Everyone we saw before are still dancing, but not Scully, Skinner or Mulder... just Marita and Krycek. The three are snacking on refreshments as they watch Marita and Krycek perfectly execute a swing lift.

SCULLY
Since when have they been taking lessons?
(beat) I'm so happy they finally realized
their love for one another.

SKINNER
Everyone should be allowed to find their
one true love in life...

Scully and Skinner sigh and look away from each other, Scully elsewhere and Skinner at Marita and Krycek, ignoring the fact that they are (were?) an engaged couple. Mulder stands there with pastel pink frosting around his mouth, grinning at Marita and Krycek... how happy!

Suddenly from the side of Mulder, a person's hand appears, holding a napkin, it's God... the Handsome Man from the funeral.

GOD
(handing Mulder the napkin)
I think you'll be needing this.

Mulder looks at him ... who the heck is this guy and why is he talking to him!? How rude! How dare he insult Mulder's eating habits! Without saying anything, Mulder walks off to find himself a dance partner... neglecting to wipe the frosting from his face.

God stands there and shakes his head at Mulder, he turns around toward Scully. Scully is checking him out, he smiles at her.

SCULLY
(to God, re: his clothes)
You know you look pretty good
in Armani...

GOD
(agreeing)
Pretty darn good.

SCULLY
It forms well to your uh... body...

Scully takes a sip from the cup she is holding, God checks her out.

GOD
Would you like to dance?

God holds out his hand to her, she takes it and he leads her out onto the dance floor. Skinner stands by watching... and easily returns his attention back to Marita and Krycek. In the background, we see The Devil eyeing Skinner. The Devil carefully approaches him, a devilish grin on her face.

DEVIL
(british accent)
Oh Walter baby, don't fret
over her too much, she's not
worth it. Plus it's not like
she'll ever show you a
good time again.

Skinner turns his head to look at the woman speaking to him, she giggles and wraps her arm around his waist.

DEVIL
Why not do to her, what she
does to you... (demanding)...
make her jealous.

Skinner is confused... who is this woman and why is she speaking to him like she knows him?

SKINNER
Do I know you?

DEVIL
Not in a personal kind of way, no.
I'm sure you've heard of me-

SKINNER
-Heard of you? Ma'am I'm sure
I'd remember you from anywhere.

She gives him a sly smile.

DEVIL
Let's go shall we.

She drags Skinner out to dance. He seems a little hesitant, but goes anyway.

Scully sees that Skinner is dancing with some beautiful woman and she is immediately jealous, she pulls God's body closer to her's, hoping Skinner will take notice... he doesn't.

GOD
Dana...? Why do you even bother?

SCULLY
How'd you know my name?
Bother with what?

GOD
Walter... you and I both know
it's not... well... a "match made
in Heaven".

SCULLY
You are so rude! You have
no business barging into my
life-

GOD
- You came into my life-

SCULLY
- I was invited to this party.

GOD
Which brings me to my point...
I have something to offer you-

Suddenly Scully's eyes go wide, remembering something and by the expression on her face we believe she has finally remembered that Krycek drove into a tornado and killed everyone...

SCULLY
(to self)
Oh my God... we forgot to
bring Doggett...

Off God's look we WHIRL AROUND to the Devil and Krycek... it seems the Devil got bored of Skinner and found someone more worthwhile of her time to dance with.

KRYCEK
(mesmerized)
You know what lady... you
are a dream come true...

DEVIL
Oh come on, I know that deep
within you is a dark, sexy, seductive
and not to mention very powerful man.
Stop smooth talking and-

KRYCEK
-Huh?

Krycek starts looking around the room, the Devil grabs his chin and turns his face to her's.

DEVIL
(quiet/forceful)
Why don't we go some place
quiet so we can talk.

She starts leading him off the dance floor, Krycek gets a goofy grin on his face.

KRYCEK
(still looking around)
Wait a minute. I'm not sure this
is a good idea, I think I need to
talk it over with my friend Mulder.

DEVIL
Where I'm taking you, you'll have
many more pleasurable things to
worry about than Mulder...

Krycek starts wandering off without her, she crosses her arms and watches him... ok so he won't listen to her now, but perhaps later. The Devil returns to the refreshment table, where Scully and Skinner are arguing over which one of them forgot to invite Doggett. God stands a few feet away, drinking more wine. After Skinner accuses Scully of having a "thing" for Doggett, Scully slaps him and storms off to find Marita, Krycek and Mulder. The Devil stands next to God.

DEVIL
(to God)
God I hate this job.

GOD
(deadpan)
You and me both.

CUT TO:

INT. DOGGETT'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Doggett is asleep on his couch, wrapped up in a navy blue aphghan with the puppy beagle asleep next to him. We hear Spanish coming from his TV, something about being allergic to shellfish.

After a beat, a bright glowing light appears from behind him, coming from outside. It's brightness intensifies in a perhaps "Godly" manner... then just snaps off. Then there is a loud knock at Doggett's front door, waking Doggett and the puppy up.

WOMAN
(from outside his front door)
John... I know you may not want
to see me after-

Doggett opens the door, upon recognizing the voice.

WOMAN
Oh hi. Umm, did I wake you?
I mean if I did I'm sorry, but
that's not the first thing I should
apologize for-

DOGGETT
-Monica...

This is Monica Reyes, an old friend to Doggett. She pushes past him and enters his house.

MONICA
No, John... for three years that
"Bullet Incident"-

DOGGETT
-Why are you here Mon'?

Doggett shuts the door and turns on a light in the living room. Monica is already seated on his chair, petting the puppy beagle...

MONICA
About three weeks ago... I had this
feeling... an overwhelming emotion of
loss... (shuts her eyes) and when I closed
my eyes the first face I saw was yours...
I felt you suffered a loss unlike any other
before... you're pure happiness lost...

Doggett is trying not to react to Monica's "weird feelings" sense, Doggett rolls his eyes.

Monica stands up... she was trying to be serious.

MONICA
Dammit John! I'm trying to be
serious here.

They shut up and Monica sits next to Doggett on the couch and rests her hand on his knee. He has an irritated look on his face, Monica decides to wait for him to say something. A minute passes...

DOGGETT
(quiet)
You came all this way just
to apologize for "The Bullet Incident"?

Monica quietly laughs.

MONICA
John... you know why I'm here
Now please, something must have
happened and it's up to you to tell
me so I can help, I'm not psychic you know.

There's a quiet beat as Doggett's puppy jumps into Monica's lap.

DOGGETT
Three weeks ago I lost my
partner...

MONICA
I'm sorry...

DOGGETT
...My boss, colleagues... who also
happen to be my friends... best
friends... come to think of it
my only friends here.

Monica looks at him sympathetically.

MONICA
It's ok John.

DOGGETT
What do you mean "it's ok"...?

Monica hands him a tissue, though he's not crying, then she puts her arm around his shoulder. She looks to his TV screen, Doggett is watching the 2000 version of "Bedazzled"... ok odd choice of movie for someone who just lost a bunch of friends, she would rather watch depressing movies like... Beetlejuice... we don't ask.

MONICA
I'm here for you John...
I know what it's like to
have lost someone...

Off the two of them falling asleep to the movie Bedazzled we

ELLIOT RICHARDS
(from TV)
DIABLOS! NUMBER ONE!

CUT TO:

THE AFTERLIFE
INT. RENTAL VAN FROM 3x26 "Road Trip: Part One"

Mulder is in the back seat, Krycek in the drivers seat. Scully, Marita and Skinner are in the middle. All of them are screaming. We hear the loud noise of the tornado all around them... they are going through their death again. Mulder has a dumbass expression on his face as he hums the Wicked Witch of The West theme song from The Wizard of Oz. Suddenly there is a loud BOOM and the screen turns to flames.

TIME CUT:

INT. RENTAL VAN

They all seem to be unconscious. Suddenly Mulder's head pops up from out of the rubble.

MULDER
Buddies? (he wiggles his broken ankle)
My ankle doesn't hurt anymore!

Skinner's head pops up from the middle seat, Scully crawls up from off the floor, and Marita pushes Skinner off from on top of her. Krycek is up front having a hard time removing his head from the windshield, but eventually he succeeds. They all look at Mulder unamused.

The camera pulls out of the van and is now angled on the destroyed van... blue screen is all around it, all four walls, the floor and the ceiling. Suddenly a door opens and God and Devil enter the room.

GOD (to The Devil)
Do you think they'll understand?

DEVIL
Oh I doubt it, I think you made
a bad choice for them to die, and for
taking Alex and Dana's lives so they can take
over our place in the Afterlife, just for us
to go into retirement... they're too
stuck on themselves.

Scully crawls out of the van through a hole in the side door, followed by Krycek. They look up at God and Devil.

POV-SCULLY & KRYCEK

The rainstorm continues and the tornado moves on away from them. The Devil is actually seen with devil horns, spiky tail and a pitchfork, God is in a white robe with gold trimmings and a halo above his head. They look down at Scully and Krycek.

SCULLY
(confused)
What the hell is this supposed to mean?

KRYCEK
Am I in heaven or in hell?
I'm confused... yeah...

The Devil snaps her fingers and suddenly Scully and Krycek's POV is the blue screen room. The Devil in a black suit with a red blouse underneath, God in black slacks and a light blue collared shirt, that is tucked in.

DEVIL
(to anyone listening)
I always hated the way
Hollywood portrayed me.

GOD
None of you survived the tornado...

SCULLY
You're the man from the party...

GOD
Yes, but actually I'm God.

DEVIL
And I'm the Devil... you've been
chosen to-

They turn their heads toward the van as they hear Marita laugh.

DEVIL
(to God/quiet)
That's why we didn't go for those three...

Marita pops out of the van giggling, followed by Skinner and then Mulder. They shut up when they see the blue screen.

MULDER
(amazed)
Since when did we get to Disney World?

SKINNER
(shocked look on his face)
Oh. My. God.

GOD
Yes?

Skinner looks at God as if he's some freaky lunatic. Scully turns to Krycek, mad.

SCULLY
(accusing)
You killed us! Alex! If you
hadn't driven into that darn tornado-

KRYCEK
-HEY! It is not my fault!
Mulder was the one who-

MULDER
- Would you shut it?!
I was stuck because-

MARITA
-Because you wanted to
pull Doggett's hair.

Skinner laughs, remembering.

SKINNER
That was funny-

MARITA
-Thank you-

MULDER (to Skinner)
-Hey you! You could have stopped
me... so in actuality it's all
your fault!

God and The Devil exchange looks and head out the door, leaving them to argue this out... perhaps now is not the time to discuss the plan...

KRYCEK
No! Scully was the one
who kept driving-

SCULLY
-Well the stench from Marita's
burp must have drugged me!

Marita gasps... she never burps in front of anyone.

MARITA
(insulted)
I didn't burp!

Off their incessant bickering, we are left to wonder if this is how they will be for the rest of eternity.

FADE OUT

THE END