Title: A Test of Godly Proportions (Part 1 of 2)
Written by: Cassie
Summary: Scully and Krycek disappear and God asks Scully to take over his position.
Spoilers: None...
Disclaimer: John Doggett, Alex Krycek, Marita Covarrubias, Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Walter Skinner are not ours by creation, they were created by Chris Carter and are owned by 20th Century Fox and 1013 Productions, we use them without permission. The characters of God and The Devil were not created by us either and we're not exactly sure how to state a disclaimer for them. The way God and The Devil are portrayed through our series is not to be taken seriously and is not intended to offend anyone, it's all in good humor.

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FADE IN:

EXT - THE PARK OF EARTHLY ANIMALS - THE AFTERLIFE

Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Skinner and Marita are walking through this zoo-like park. The animals in this zoo are not locked behind bars or held in cages, they are free to roam about and do as they please. Heck, we see a Triceratops and a Tyranasaurus dinosaur in the background, surrounded by some fun-loving dogs... living in peace.

MULDER
Now... aren't we glad I stopped
by the Afterlife Tourism Office?
How many people can say they have
actually seen a real live dinosaur?

SCULLY
Mulder... it's it's soul. It's not
alive anymore.

KRYCEK
(low)
Idiot.

Marita lightly punches Krycek's arm for that comment, she doesn't like how Krycek treats his friends. SUDDENLY both Scully and Krycek begin to fade away, becoming more and more transparent until they are gone. Everyone is panicked and we QUICKLY ZOOM in on Mulder's face, he's bug-eyed.

MULDER
(loud/echos)
NO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

END TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. STREET ALLY - NIGHT

Scully enters frame, walking at a regular pace, she's all alone and looks a bit afraid. How did she end up here and why? Around her are just a few homeless people, hiding in the shadows, watching her carefully. As we focus on what is ahead of Scully (20-30ft ahead), we see an old crippled man heading out of the ally and toward the city street. Before we know it, a beat up car pulls up to the curb and 3 men jump out and attempt to mug him. Upon seeing this, Scully pulls out her gun and runs to help.

SCULLY
(running)
FBI! Stop what you're doing
and put your hands in the air!

The 3 men stop beating up the old man, who has fallen to the ground, and they haul ass back to their car and speed off. Scully puts her gun back in the holster and offers the old man her hand, helping him stand up.

SCULLY
(concerned)
Sir, are you hurt?

Scully begins to check his arms, she looks up to his face and he gives her a smile, she smiles back and continues to check him over for any possible serious injuries.

SCULLY
(looking down)
Just a few scratches... do you
want me to go with you to a
hospital to get these cleaned up?

Scully looks back up at the old man, however he's not the old man anymore. This takes Scully by surprise. The old man has morphed into God, Scully is at a loss for words.

GOD
Surprised to see me Dana?

SCULLY
(after a beat)
Why did you let them do that to you?

GOD
Why? (beat) I can see how people
treat others... it's all part of the
process of deciding who gets past the
"Pearly Gates". (beat) You, my dear,
have passed with flying colors.

SCULLY
Yeah well, this isn't a living soul
you've tested. I've already lived
my life and passed on.

GOD
Or maybe a new one has just begun.

Scully looks at him, confused by his words. They start to walk down the street.

GOD
I'm not going to play mind games
with you Dana, I'm interested in
going into retirement and I'd like
for you to take over my position
as "God".

There's an awkward silence from Scully, this is too strange.

SCULLY
(haha funny joke)
Ok if I weren't dead, I'd be
expecting a "smile you're on
Candid Camera" by now.

GOD
I'm very serious about this, Dana.
I do want to stress that you don't
have to do it if you don't want to.

SCULLY
(kinda interested)
What's the catch?

GOD
No catch. Just that you'll be able
to help those in need, guide
people through their troubles and
console those suffering.

SCULLY
Why me? I mean... you know my life.
There are things I did that I'm not
proud of... hell, I've probably sinned.

GOD
I know everything about you, good and
bad. I know that the essence of your soul
is kind and understanding, and that you
never meant to hurt anyone.

SCULLY
What do I have to do to do this?

GOD
Well, it's more like a test...
choose someone whose life you'd
like to help and do it successfully.
If you feel you like what you've done,
you decide if you have passed and if
you'd like to play "God" for the next
thousand years.

SCULLY
That doesn't sound too hard.
Can I start now? I've got the
perfect person for this test.

God snaps his fingers to give her this temporary Godly power.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. OFFICE OF THE LONE GUNMEN - NIGHT

Langley and Byers are working on hacking into someone's computer and it isn't going as they had planned.

BYERS
If you don't abort, we'll get caught!

LANGLEY
Just one more minute.

The door to their office opens and Frohike enters, looking inspired, holding a video tape in his hand.

FROHIKE
You'd never guess what just
happened to me. I went to see a
psychic and -

We see Langley abort their hacking project and he turns to face Frohike. Not humored.

LANGLEY
Psychic? Remember we proved
them false in our last issue
of The Magic Bullet.

FROHIKE
No, this one was for real.
Agent Scully contacted me,
she told me I had to get her
camcorder from the apartment and
transfer what was on it to a video
cassette, to give to Agent Doggett.

Byers and Langley look skeptical, and then Jimmy walks into the room with several photographs in his hands.

JIMMY
Hey guys. I was cleaning out
some old boxes and came across
these. Who's the beautiful blond woman?

FROHIKE
(takes the pic from Jimmy)
Let me see that.

It is a picture from 1x13 The Cruise of Scully, Skinner, Mulder (in a work suit), Krycek and Marita dressed in summer clothes for the cruise they took for one of Mulder's birthdays.

FROHIKE
Ah ha! Perfect!

Frohike takes the picture and scribbles something on the back of it and puts it with the video cassette that he had and places it in a package.

FROHIKE
I'll be back. I need to go
drop this off at Agent Doggett's.

With that Frohike is out the door in a flash, on a mission, given to him by Scully.

INT. DOGGETT'S TRUCK - NIGHT

Doggett is on his way home from work, by the tense look on his face, we know that this was not the best of days for him. There's no music coming from the radio, just the sound of traffic on the highway. As he turns off at his exit, he notices a post-it note that has fallen to the floor. Being a careless driver for just one moment, Doggett leans down and picks up the note, when he returns his attention to the road ahead of him, he has to quickly SLAM on the brakes to prevent rear-ending the car ahead of him.

Doggett rolls his eyes at the driver he almost hit when the guy gives him the finger. He looks down at the note in his hand:

"Get food for the dog"

A little bit annoyed, Doggett irritates more drivers waiting at the red light by working his way from the right turn lane to the left turn lane, hence receiving a few more dirty looks.

TIME CUT:

INT. DOGGETT'S HOUSE - 15 MINUTES LATER

It's completely dark, we hear Doggett's truck pull up in the driveway and then the sound of happy puppy paws making their way across the hardwood floor to the front door to greet Doggett.

After a moment, the front door opens and the puppy starts barking and wagging it's tail. Doggett is carrying 3 rather large bags of dog food in his arms as he attempts to find the lightswitch without dropping anything.

DOGGETT
(to dog)
Hey little guy... you mind
getting the door?

Somehow, completely understanding what his master said, the dog uses it's nose to sorta shut the door as Doggett takes the dog food to the kitchen.

DOGGETT
(calling to dog)
Come here dog!

Doggett takes out a bowl and tears open the food and pours it out for the dog. Hearing the food being poured, the dog comes running into the kitchen, slipping on the floor. Doggett puts out his arm and catches the dog, preventing him from hurting himself by ramming into the wall. The dog barks at Doggett and proceeds to attack it's food.

DOGGETT
(half to self/half to dog)
You need a name...

SUDDENLY there is a knock at Doggett's front door, it is Frohike but immediately after he knocks he runs out of view. Doggett gets up to answer, but no one is there... just a small package left at the foot of the door, he picks it up, looking to see who it is from. No note, no nothin'. Confused, he shuts the door and opens it up. An unlabeled video tape and photograph of Scully, Skinner, Mulder (the only one in his work suit), Krycek and Marita on a cruise boat. Doggett smiles and turns over the photo. There's writing: "Dana, Walter, Mulder, Alex and Marita - Mulder's birthday 2000". Inside the video tape case is a note from The Lone Gunmen: "Agent Doggett, we thought you may like to have these".

The dog walks into the room and sits at Doggett's feet.

DOGGETT
(to dog)
Hey buddy... (beat, thinks, looks at photo)
Buddy... do you like the name Buddy?

The dog barks, perhaps in agreement.

DOGGETT
(to dog)
Then Buddy it is... Mulder
would have loved that, you know...
too bad you never got to know them.

Now as Doggett puts the video tape into his VCR, we drift behind him and see Scully standing there alone, watching with a small smile on her face. Buddy the dog turns his head around and watches her, she waves at Buddy.

SCULLY
(to Buddy the dog)
Feel better now? Finally
you have a name.

Buddy barks at her, Doggett looks behind his shoulder in Scully's direction, but can't see what Buddy is barking at. Scully walks over and sits on the couch, near Doggett.

POV - DOGGETT/SCULLY - TV

We see Mulder and Krycek rolling a huge snowman in Doggett's yard:

Suddenly, Krycek starts pushing against Mulder and eventually knocks him to the ground, and then without hesitation, Krycek rolls the five foot snowball over Mulder... crushing him.

MULDER
Ow you frickin' idiot, get this
dumb piece of shit off me!

Krycek stands there laughing uncontrollably, pointing his finger at Mulder... who is unable to move, but he attempts to squirm.

SCULLY
(the one with camcorder/her commentary/o.s.)
Oh my God! Are you seeing this?! Mulder is
like a weak lizard! (beat) John, if you ever
see this tape, this was not my idea, it was
Marita's.

Doggett lets out a hard laugh, something that he hasn't done in a long time.

Next to Scully (who is also laughing), God appears, watching her, at first Scully doesn't notice.

GOD
(whispering)
See what you can do with
my powers? You've helped him
take another step toward letting
you and your friends go...

SCULLY
That's great for him, but that's
not the problem.

GOD
What's the problem?

SCULLY
(sad/serious)
I can't let go.

GOD
There's nothing you can do about
that. Your fate was tampered with -

Scully gives him a sharp look, she heard the "tampered with" bit.

SCULLY
What do you mean "tampered with"?

Scully stands up a bit pissed, if her life wasn't supposed to end, this God knew about it and did nothing to prevent it.

GOD
(uncomfortable)
This isn't the place to discuss that.

SMASH CUT:

EXT. STREET ALLY - NIGHT

It's beginning to rain now. Scully and God are standing there, God is soaked (putting himself into a physical human form now, that the living can see).

GOD
It's rather selfish really. The Devil
and I discovered you and your friend
Alex Krycek. You two are perfect for our
positions. We watched you both over the
years of your life and in wanting you to
take over our positions, we used a government
created weather control device to create a
tornado and Alex's stupid driving to bring you
to this side.

Scully's eyes are burning with anger, she lets out a loud gasp.

SCULLY
How dare you! You're God!
You're supposed to take us
when it's our time, not when
you don't want to do whatever it
is that you do!

GOD
(raising voice)
Hey! Not everyone is perfect!
You of all people should know that!

SCULLY
(mad at God)
Oh! Well then! I guess that we've
already got the right person for your
job! You! You can forget trying to
make me "God". My friends need me, more
than I need a position of power!

God starts laughing at Scully, she gives him a nasty look.

SCULLY
(calmer)
What's so funny?

GOD
You. All your life, you wanted
power, were with men of power and
now that's no nevermind to you.

SCULLY
So?

GOD
You've admitted to yourself you are
not who you thought you were... I have
to let you to choose to either move on
to the next level in the Afterlife, to
be reincarnated or to stay here and be a
lost sould forever with your friends.

SCULLY
(confused)
Next level?

GOD
Where you can't visit the living.

Behind God, we see Mulder, Skinner and Marita, finally having found Scully.

GOD
The choice is your's Dana.
I know now that I was wrong
about you... you don't need
power to thrive... you need
your friends.

God points to her friends who are approaching them.

SCULLY
What about you? Going to try
to convince Krycek to be God?

God starts fading away.

GOD
That's not why we took his life...
if you know what I mean... it was
the Devil's idea, though she is mistaken.

With that he is gone. Mulder, Skinner and Marita come up to Scully.

MARITA
Scully? What's the matter?

Scully wipes a tear from her eye, she has her friends back, that's all that matters...

SCULLY
Nothing.

MULDER
Is Krycek with you?

Scully shakes her head "no".

Skinner puts his arm around Scully's shoulders.

SKINNER
(concerned/to Scully/whisper)
Are you sure everything's alright?

She shakes her head "no" and motions for him to follow her out of ear-shot from Marita and Mulder. Marita looks jealous, she liked being with Skinner without Scully around.

MARITA
Hey. Where are they going?

MULDER
Couples talk, I bet...

Mulder and Marita stand there watching Scully and Skinner talk. Mulder eyes Marita, she starts looking around, paranoid, as if she is being watched. Looking like he has a devious plan, Mulder gives us a look and then wraps his arm around Marita's shoulder. She looks to see if Skinner is seeing this, he's not. Marita looks up into Mulder's eyes, for some odd reason, there is comfort in them. Their gazes lock and Mulder leans down and kisses Marita tenderly on the lips. As their kiss grows more passionate, we:

FADE OUT:

TO BE CONTINUED...