Title: Lilac and Rose
Author: Cassie
Summary: Mulder and Krycek have "bad" luck while visiting nowhere Texas.
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fox Mulder or Alex Krycek. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. I do however own Officer.
EXT. GAS STATION - NOWHERE TEXAS - DAY
Mulder's car is parked at a gas pump, Krycek is sitting on the passenger side of the car, examining a map. He is frustrated.
Mulder exits the gas station, carrying two bottles of water and some Pringles. He takes awhile opening the car door, Krycek doesn't make an attempt at helping him. Eventually Mulder succeeds without dropping anything.
He takes his seat on the drivers side and hands Krycek his bottle of water.
MULDER Mulder takes a sip of water.
They were no help.KRYCEK
(irritated)
What do you mean,
"they were no help"?MULDER
Well for starters, I really
couldn't understand what they
were saying, they had really
heavy accents.KRYCEK
What did you understand?
MULDER Mulder puts the car into drive and pulls out onto a dirt road.
Good luck.KRYCEK
You're kidding me.MULDER
I asked how we can get out
of the middle of nowhere...
and they said "good luck".
KRYCEK Krycek looks at Mulder, uncomfortably, knowing very well that Mulder is right.
(mad)
Well, this is just great!
Fantastic! (beat) You just
had to turn off the main
road and drive through the
desert... and now we have no clue
where we are.MULDER
It's not completely my fault you know.
MULDER And for the first time, Krycek turns his head to reveal his right eye, which is black and blue.
If you hadn't seen that woman who
looked like Marita, riding a horse
on the side of the road, I never
would have tried to follow her so you
could get her number. (beat) And you
never would have run into her husband
while talking to her, and wouldn't have
been given a black eye. Which is what put
you in this bad mood in the first place.
KRYCEK They drive in silence for a minute or two, then Mulder reaches over to turn on the radio... static. He tries to tune into other stations... nothing. Krycek isn't facing Mulder any longer, he's turned the other way and is staring out the window.
(embarrassed)
Shut up.MULDER
Just speaking the truth.
Mulder looks from the radio to Krycek, radio to Krycek... radio to Krycek... Krycek to the road. His eyes go wide with surprise as he swerves to the left to avoid hitting a cow, little does he know, but the direction in which he swerved led the car directly into a stack of hay.
KRYCEK There is incessant cow mooing going on around them, and they are oblivious to it.
(pissed off)
Goddammit Mulder!MULDER
I didn't want to hurt the cow!
KRYCEK Now they hear the cow moos, and stop their bickering. They look around them, turning full circles in their seats and stare in wild-eyed wonder at what is before them. They are surrounded by cows. Krycek angrily exits the car, slamming the door behind him. Mulder slowly follows.
Why I agreed to let you drive,
is beyond me!MULDER
It's my car man!KRYCEK
Yeah... well...
Krycek is inspecting their car for damages, he covers his nose at the smell of cow... and their doodie.
KRYCEK Krycek gives him a murdrous glare, this shuts Mulder up. He starts to shamefully look at the ground and shuffles the dirt from side to side with his feet.
(to himself/gradually raising his voice)
Just when you think
things can't get any worse
they do!MULDER
I was just trying to find music
to listen to and-KRYCEK
-Why do you drive?! (beat)
Things always go wrong when
you drive!MULDER
Actually, Alex... things always
go wrong when Scully drives, don't
you remember coming back from Colorado-
Suddenly, Krycek starts kicking the car doors and angrily shouting something bad in Russian. Mulder looks over to his friend.
KRYCEK Mulder pulls out his cell phone and starts to dial.
(points to a flat tire)
Now what?
MULDER Mulder places the phone to his ear. Then, hearing nothing, he bangs the phone with his other hand. Krycek just looks at him, unamused. Mulder puts his phone away.
I'll call Scully, maybe
she can do something.
MULDER They gather up their backpacks with all their belongings (including a framed picture of Marita that Krycek brought along with him and had placed on the dash board). They begin walking away from their car and the herd of cows.
Well, we could always
just keep walking.
MULDER Mulder hasn't thought of this, he bites his lower lip and ponders what he could do.
Just think of it this way, Krycek,
we won't be stuck in the middle
of nowhere forever.KRYCEK
Yeah... we'll die first. (beat)
How do you plan to get your car back?
MULDER POV - UNKNOWN ENTITIES FOLLOWING THEM
I'll just remember where it is
and have some mechanic come
and get it later.KRYCEK
You don't even know where we are!MULDER
We'll find a way, you've got connections.
Mulder and Krycek continue walking down the dirt road, in the direction of the setting sun (yes, walking away from the direction of DC), they are oblivious that they are being followed.
CUT TO:YET ANOTHER STINKY COW FARM - LATE EVENING
Mulder and Krycek are walking, pinching their little noses, as to not get sick and throw up... the cow manure is too much for even them.
KRYCEK Krycek takes a big gulp of air, he looks as if he is green in the face and is about to hurl. Instead, he drops his backpack to the ground and quickly takes off his t-shirt and places it over his mouth and nose. Mulder looks at him... that's not fair.
(voice distorted from plugging nose)
I think I'm going to hurl.MULDER
(voice distorted from plugging nose)
If you do, I'm sure I won't be able
to stop myself from doing the exact
same thing.
KRYCEK Mulder waits eagerly with his eyes shut, after he dropped his backpack on the ground. Krycek gives him a look and continues to walk.
(muffled through shirt)
This, is much better.MULDER
(voice distorted from plugging nose)
Quick! Krycek, take the backpack
off my back!
SUDDENLY one of the strangers following them starts removing his shirt, her hands slowly caressing the fabric.
MULDER EXTREME CLOSE UP: WOMAN'S LIPS
(eyes still shut)
Thanks buddy. Say, what kind
of deodorant do you use? Smells nice.
Whispering in Mulder's ear.
WOMAN Mulder tenses up as he realizes that this isn't Krycek that has taken off his shirt and is softly holding his bare shoulder, but a woman!
(sexy/seductive)
Spring Breeze Lilac...
MULDER The Woman runs her finger tip down the middle of his back.
(scared yet in awe)
Who are you...?
WOMAN He turns around to see who this mystery woman is, only to discover no one is there! He looks around confused. Scared, he picks up his backpack and shirt, covers his mouth and nose and runs to catch up with Krycek.
That's not important...MULDER
Really?WOMAN
What is important is, what
I can offer you...MULDER
(grinning like a ninny)
What is that?
KRYCEK Krycek looks at him disgusted, Mulder has drool dripping out of his mouth. Mulder has gone bye-bye.
(hearing Mulder's running behind him)
What took you so long?MULDER
A woman.KRYCEK
Yeah... maybe cows. (beat)
Did you throw up?MULDER
(mesmerized)
Spring Breeze Lilac...
KRYCEK Krycek gives him a weird look and sits down on the side of the dirt road. We'll all take note that we can still see Mulder's car from where they are. Mulder helplessly sits down next to Krycek with a gay expression on his face, he leans his head on Krycek's shoulder and conks out.
(in all seriousness)
Mulder? Did you buy water
contaminated with LSD?MULDER
(sighs/mesmerized)
Lilac...KRYCEK
(snaps his fingers in front of Mulder's face)
Hello!? Snap out of it! (beat)
Let's rest, all this walking is
wearing me out and I think the
heat has gotten to you.MULDER
(mesmerized)
Love... true love...
KRYCEK As the sun continues to set on the Texas horizon, Krycek lies Mulder's head down on a backpack so he can try to build a tent that Mulder brought.
(looks right at us)
Typical.
Krycek takes the tent out of Mulder's backpack and unfolds it. It's a Scooby-Doo tent... very small, probably can't fit the two of them in it.
POV - UNKNOWN ENTITIES FOLLOWING THEM (WOMAN)
Krycek is trying to figure out how to put the tent together. The stranger is circling around the now established "camp site" for the boys. SUDDENLY a gust of wind blows and Krycek's little nose sniffs the air... roses?
Krycek looks around wondering where the rose smell is coming from. He sees nothing.
KRYCEK Krycek takes a deep breath of the air, the rose smell is very intense. And as a bonus it has completely gotten rid of the cow stench... oh but how the roses speak to him!
(calls out)
Marita?!WOMAN #2
(from behind him)
Shhh... don't say a word...
KRYCEK EXTREME CLOSE UP: WOMAN #2'S LIPS
(mesmerized/to woman #2)
Where did you come from?
She kisses the back of Krycek's neck.
WOMAN #2 She is interrupted by Mulder waking up.
(answering his question)
From here...KRYCEK
(mesmerized)
Here? Why here?WOMAN #2
(whispers in his ear)
Because you-
MULDER Krycek whirls around to see who this woman is... maybe it is the woman on the horse that reminded him of Marita. She is not there!
(worried/scared)
KRYCEK!
KRYCEK Mulder sticks his tongue out at Krycek.
Where'd she go?!MULDER
Huh?KRYCEK
The woman!MULDER
(amused)
No, no, silly. That was
my imagination.KRYCEK
(serious)
It couldn't have been,
I felt her. She kissed me...MULDER
She tried to strip me naked!
SO THERE!
KRYCEK Mulder gasps in disbelief. How did Krycek now Marita got him hooked on those?!
(mesmerized)
Roses... roses of...
true love...MULDER
(serious)
Lay off the Lifetime dramas, man.
Marita doesn't really watch them.KRYCEK
(embarrassed)
You were chanting about lilacs,
so lay off the daytime soaps!
KRYCEK Krycek rolls his eyes and enters the tent, Mulder follows.
Oh, we are out of food, we'll
have to go to sleep without
eating-MULDER
-Kinda like how it was when Scully
lived with us. She sure couldn't cook
yummy food, you know I ended up flushing
pretty much everything she did make down
the toilet. Oh and we could always walk
back to the gas station and buy some food
those folks could be really helpful in
that area, but I have no idea what to do about
my poor car-KRYCEK
-What's up with the Scooby tent?MULDER
I always wanted one.
CUT TO:
EXT. TENT - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
All is quiet, it's obvious Mulder and Krycek are asleep, even though the tent doesn't fit them both, their feet are handing out from the entrance.
There is not a cloud in the sky and the full moon is shining bright. One by one flower petals start to swirl around the Scooby tent, forming a vortex. As the flower petals fall to the ground, they shimmer in the moonlight.
CUT TO:
EXT. TENT - MORNING
The flower petals have fallen on the ground in a "protective circle" around the tent. Mulder exits the tent, stretching his arms way above his head, he yawns and notices all the flower petals.
MULDER Krycek exits the Scooby tent, he looks as if he had a rough night.
(freaked out)
KRYCEK!
KRYCEK Krycek looks.
What?MULDER
Look at the ground.
KRYCEK Out of nowhere a cop car pulls up, and an older male officer gets out and approaches them.
How did those get here?
OFFICER Krycek looks at Mulder, offended by the "lucky" implication of the Officer's statement. Mulder just smiles at him.
Howdy! What are you folks
doin' out here?MULDER
We got lost.OFFICER
I'd say you got lucky.
KRYCEK The Officer looks around, he doesn't see any flower petals. He looks at them oddly as he smacks chewing gum in his mouth.
(laughing/to officer)
You must be refering to the
flower petals... no, no one
got lucky here last night.
OFFICER Mulder and Krycek look at the ground, the flower petals are gone!
What petals?
OFFICER Mulder and Krycek exchange a scared look... what the?
Anyway, you boys better be
headin' back into town (beat)
Gary Bodine escaped from the
county prison late yesterday evening,
he was last seen off on this road (beat)
He killed five officers last night
that were patrolling this road.
OFFICER The Officer ponders that for a moment and then nods his head, understanding.
I'm surprised he didn't chop
you up too. (serious) Did you
run across anyone yesterday night?KRYCEK
(dumbfounded)
We smelled flowers.OFFICER
Flowers?MULDER
Lilac and rose.
OFFICER Krycek points off in the direction of their car.
Consider yourselves lucky.KRYCEK
Luck? (beat) Our car has
a flat.
OFFICER Mulder and Krycek follow the Officer to his car and they drive off. After the dust clears the air, transparent figures of two women appear (we still do not see their faces). A gust of wind blows them away, and they turn into lilac and rose petals.
You're lives were saved boys...
Lilac and Rose. (off their blank
expressions) You see, about 15 years
ago Gary Bodine murdered two of his
lovers out on this road, horrible
deaths (beat) Nicest girls you'd ever meet.
They always smelled of lilacs and roses...
It's been said that if people on this road are
in trouble, they will protect them. Seems
the girls chose you two over officers of the law.MULDER
If that murderer was on this
road, how did he overlook us and
the tent?OFFICER
Beats me... the paranormal works in
mysterious ways. But city fold like
yourselves probably don't believe
in that mumbo jumbo anyway. (beat)
Come on, I'll give you a ride back
to your car and give ya my spare.
FADE OUT:
THE END