Title: Saturday
Authors: Cassie
Summary: Just one of your typical December Saturdays with the gang.
Spoilers: None.
Date: First Draft - April 7-10, 2002, Final Draft – August 4, 2002
Disclaimer: I do not own John Doggett, Monica Reyes, Fox Mulder, Alex Krycek, Walter Skinner, Dana Scully, or Marita Covarrubias. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.

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INT. SCULLY/MARITA/REYES’ APARTMENT – 6 AM
SATURDAY

It is still dark outside, we see that the girls have put up a few Christmas decorations around a window. Through the window, snall snowflakes fall to the ground.

As we pan over, we see that Scully is sitting cross-legged on the couch. Obviously she’s just woken up. Her hair is a mess and she’s still in her pastel pink Care Bears pajamas. Her Winnie The Pooh slippers are on her feet. On the TV, is the early morning local news. Scully yawns and reaches over to grab her favorite 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics coffee mug from the coffee table, it just happens to be resting on a 2002 coaster. She takes a sip.

Marita and Monica jog out of Monica’s bedroom. They are suited up in running sweatpants and sporty winter jackets. They each wear ear muffs and gloves.

MARITA
(jogging in place)
Dana? Aren’t you going with us?

Scully gives them a weak, innocent – “I’m not going” look.

SCULLY
No… not today… it’s awfully cold outside.
I’m not feeling up to going on a morning run.
Besides, the weatherman says there’s a 95%
chance of a snow storm.

Marita and Monica stop jogging in place. Marita pouts and Monica places her hands on her hips. They are glaring at Scully.

MONICA
Dana! You’re breaking our promise of
getting ahead on our New Year resolution.
You’re breaking it before it even begins!

SCULLY
New Year resolutions are made to be broken.
By February, everyone’s already given up, I’m
just getting ahead of the game… for today at least.

This “excuse” does not satisfy them. Marita stomps off to leave the apartment, Monica follows, waving goodbye to Scully on her way out. Marita slams the door behind them.

MARITA
(muffled from hallway)
BITCH!

MONICA
(muffled from hallway)
Don’t say that, Marita…

Scully heard what Marita called her, she raises her eyebrow and lets out a heavy sigh and continues watching the news.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER/KRYCEK’S APARTMENT – 6 AM

Mulder and Krycek are fast asleep on their living room floor… in sleeping bags. Mulder in a G.I. Joe sleeping bag and Krycek in a Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag.

There are a dozen delivery pizza boxes lying all over the place, open cartons of melted ice cream, candy wrappers, half eaten sandwiches and open bottles of Mountain Dew.

Their TV is tuned into the Cartoon Network.

Mulder shifts position and his head lands in a puddle of melted cookies n’cream ice cream. He does not wake up.

CUT TO:

INT. DOGGETT’S HOUSE – 7 AM

Doggett is coming down the stairs, fully dressed for the day. He yawns and stretches his arms above him.

As he enters his living room, we’ll take notice that he has not put up any Christmas decorations, even though it’s just a few weeks before the holiday.

He picks up his TV remote control and flips to CNN. He sets down the remote and walks into the kitchen to get some coffee.

Through the living room window, we see that the weatherman was right, the snow that was falling gently just an hour ago, is now coming down harder.

Doggett re-enters his living room and sits down on the footrest in front of his favorite chair. He sets his Marines mug on the coffee table, with no coaster under it. He lets out a loud sneeze, which triggers a bad coughing attack. He’s coming down with a cold. He takes a sip of coffee and hears three loud knocks on his door. He stands up to answer it.

Upon opening the door, a gust of freezing wind blows inside his house, bringing with it some snow. There are three young boys staring up at him with eager eyes (the neighbor kids). Jason (11 yrs.), Steve (8 yrs.), and Mike (11 yrs.).

DOGGETT
(nasal congested)
Hey boys –

JASON
You’ve gotta come out and play
Snow War with us!

STEVE
You gotta! Just gotta Mr. Doggett!

MIKE
(the leader)
We’re short one lieutenant and Stevie
needs you on his side if he has any
chance at winning, and he can’t be his
own lieutenant ‘cuz he can’t handle it.

Doggett folds his arms across his chest.

DOGGETT
You know, I’d love to, but I’m
comin’ down with a cold.

The boys are disappointed, but understand.

STEVE
Your mom makin’ ya stay inside?
My mom always makes me stay
inside when I’m sick. Like last weekend
when I was spewing up my breakfast.

Doggett smiles at the kid, he remembers fondly how he and his ex-wife made his son, Luke stay indoors when they even sensed he was getting sick. A frown comes to his face, last time was almost ten years ago, before Luke disappeared. Doggett shakes off the feelings those thoughts bring him. He smiles at the boys.

DOGGETT
You boys play nice now, and no
throwing snow in the face like last year.

The boys laugh and start pointing fingers at Doggett.

MIKE
(laughing at Doggett)
You sure looked funny though!

The boys run off down the icy driveway. Steve turns around to make his comment.

STEVE
Just like Frosty the Snowman!

Doggett shuts the door. Ever since he moved into this house four years ago, those boys have always asked him to play “Snow Wars” each winter. Especially with the knowledge that Doggett is an ex-Marine, ex-cop and a FBI agent.

He sits back down as Buddy runs into the room, dragging one of Monica’s sweatshirts with him. Doggett gives the dog a look.

DOGGETT
Where’d you get that from?

Doggett takes the sweatshirt and recognizes it as one of Monica’s. She must have forgotten it the last time she was over. He thinks for a moment and figures he might as well return it to her, and while he’s there, ask Scully her medical opinion of what he needs to do to feel better.

Doggett gets up and puts on his leather jacket.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK WALKING PATH – 7:33 AM

Marita and Monica are stretching on a snow covered park bench. Marita is quite balletic, it’s nausiating. In the background we see Skinner approaching them, he’s also out jogging.

Ironically, or is it planned, he’s in matching jogging clothes as Marita. Monica notices Skinner coming up behind Marita, he motions for her to be quiet.

Skinner grabs Marita around her waist and picks her up. She screams, a girly scream and kicks her legs, until she realizes it is Skinner. Then she laughs.

MARITA
Walter, you’re so silly.

He places her back down on the ground, holding her close. Monica stands by watching. Skinner pulls Marita close and kisses her gently on the lips.

MONICA
(impatient)
Ah… that’s so cute. You guys are
in matching outfits… (beat, they continue kissing)
Ok guys, this isn’t your bedroom, we’re out in a
snow storm, so let’s get back to jogging!

With that Monica takes off without them. Marita and Skinner watch on, after a few beats, Monica slips on a patch of ice and falls to the ground with a hard THUD.

Marita and Skinner laugh at her, well… until they see that she isn’t moving and is holding her left ankle. They run up to her. Skinner lowers himself to one knee.

SKINNER
Monica, are you okay?

Monica doesn’t say anything. She is biting her lower lip, trying not to cry. She points to her ankle.

SKINNER
Twisted your ankle?

Monica nods her head “yes”. Marita stands behind them, biting her fingernails. Injuries make her nervous.

SKINNER
Marita, can you help me get her up?
She needs to get to a hospital, to get
this looked at.

Marita comes to her side and she and Skinner lift her to one foot.

MARITA
Hospital’s just a few blocks from
here, I’m sure we can make it.

As they slowly their way to the hospital in the snow storm.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER/KRYCEK’S APARTMENT – 8 AM

The boys are still sleeping. However, Mulder has rolled underneath the coffee table, we see some pepperoni pizza and cheese on the back of his shirt, he rolled through a pizza. Krycek is on the verge of sucking his thumb.

CUT TO:

INT. SCULLY/MARITA/REYES’ APARTMENT – 8 AM

Scully is comfortably settled in the corner of the couch, she’s covered herself with a gray/blue afghan. She holds the TV remote control, she’s channel surfing and looking more tired than the last time we saw her.

There’s a knock on the door.

SCULLY
(not thinking of her appearance)
It’s open!

The front door opens and Doggett steps in, Buddy is with him. Buddy runs through the living room and into Scully’s bedroom.

Doggett is holding Monica’s sweatshirt in his hand, he enters the living room. Scully hasn’t noticed that Doggett is her morning visitor, channel surfing has “intoxicated” her.

DOGGETT
Dana… Monica left this at my place –

Upon hearing his nasal congested, hoarse voice, Scully quickly ducks and hides under the afghan, she pulls it over her head. There’s a beat, as Doggett tries to figure out what’s going on.

DOGGETT
(confused)
Dana?

SCULLY
(muffled/embarrassed)
Good morning, I wasn’t expecting anyone
to come by this morning…

Doggett sits down on the couch, next to Scully’s Pooh Bear covered feet.

DOGGETT
Sorry, I didn’t really realize how early
it is. You don’t have some kind of lime
green facial mask on, do you?

SCULLY
No. I look awful.I haven’t dressed,
showered, brushed my teeth, combed my hair –

DOGGETT
- Dana. I don’t care what you look like -

SCULLY
- I’m in stupid old pajamas! (beat) Could
you cover your eyes for a minute so I can
run to my room to change.

DOGGETT
For cryin’ out loud! I understand the
need to relax on a Saturday. (lies)
I usually don’t get out of what I slept in
Friday night when I get up on Saturdays.

Scully slowly uncovers her head, the static from the afghan makes her hair stand up… looking much much worse than before. Doggett continues to keep a serious expression on his face.

SCULLY
Really?

Doggett smiles at her, but doesn’t laugh at her “bad looks”.

DOGGETT
I had nothing else to do, my VCR broke a few
days ago so I couldn’t watch NASCAR reruns,
so I thought I’d bring this (shakes sweatshirt) over.
(beat) Plus I’m feelin’ a bit under the weather and
wanted to ask a professional what I should do.

Suddenly, Scully isn’t so shy about her appearance. Concerned, she sits up, closer to Doggett and places the back of her hand on his forehead.

DOGGETT
(takes her hand off him)
You don’t have to do that, I know
when I’m not feelin’ well –

SCULLY
(concerned)
- John, you’re burning up.

She stands up and shuffles into her room. She comes back out with a pillow. She places it on one end of the couch and pushes Doggett into a laying position. She starts untying his shoes.

DOGGETT
(gonna argue)
Dana…

SCULLY
(stern)
John, if you’re gonna get better,
you have to rest.

She has removed his shoes and covers him with the afghan.

SCULLY
Now, did you take any medication
before coming over?

DOGGETT
Just something for my cough, and Tylenol.

Doggett sits back up, Scully gives him a disapproving look.

DOGGETT
(explaining himself)
Need to take off my jacket.

He removes his jacket, he’s wearing his Marines t-shirt. Scully watches, unknowingly, her eyebrow raises as she sees him do this. The shirt is tight, but not too tight… he doesn’t notice her staring at him.

Doggett lies back down. Scully shakes her head to get out of the daze that darn Marines shirt put her in. She takes his leather jacket and places it on a dining room chair, as she heads to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, she comes back out with a glass of ice water and a fruit salad for Doggett. However he’s fallen asleep. She sets everything down on the coffee table and turns to him and smiles a sympathetic smile. She runs the back of her hand across the side of his face.

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL – 9 AM

Marita, Monica and Skinner are making their way down a hall to the ER. It is a busy day, lots of people coughing and sneezing around them.

At this moment, Monica is crying, but we’re not sure whether it’s because of the pain in her ankle or because she’s acting like a wimp-girl.

They enter a waiting room, that is full and stand there looking for a seat.

MONICA
(quite loud and disturbing the peace)
OH CRAP! We’re gonna be here all day!
Couldn’t we go home and have Dana help me?!

MARITA
Monica, darling, our apartment is further
away and there’s a blizzard outside. We’ll
stay here.

A patient sees Monica’s condition and stands up, letting her take his seat. Monica politely thanks him.

SKINNER
I’m gonna go find the cafeteria and
get us something to eat. Any preferences?

MONICA
(bad mood)
Get me some frickin’ pain killers!

Marita pushes Skinner away, and speaks quietly with him.

MARITA
Get her some kind of real meal. Ya know,
waffles and orange juice, she always has
that at home. And I’ll have a fruit salad, if they
have any. I forgot to eat the one I made earlier.

Skinner leaves to find the cafeteria. Marita goes back to Monica. She’s crying again.

MONICA
(crying)
Marita, promise me this. If I should die, give
my love to Robert and Bradley. Tell Johnny he
does love Dana, and not to deny himself happiness
in life and to ask her out. Tell Mulder I really would
have helped him hang up his Teletubby poster, but
I had bad tennis elbow that day. Tell Krycek that I
would have, if he weren’t so obsessed with you, and
give Buddy a doggy snack.

Monica is desperately clinging onto Marita’s arm.

MARITA
Don’t you have anything to say to Dana?

MONICA
(sniffles)
Oh yeah, tell her that Johnny’s really
insecure sexually because of a
bullet incident. Tell her to be gentle
with him.

MARITA
And what will you tell Walter and I?

MONICA
Oh… that will come when I’m just
about to die.

Marita gives Monica a sympathetic look and holds Monica’s head against her as she begins to cry again, seriously believing she will die.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER/KRYCEK’S APARTMENT – 10:30 AM

Yes. They are still sleeping. Krycek is cuddled up to Mulder, both are underneath the coffee table.

The feet of a woman cross the room, followed by another pair of woman’s feet. These women are tip-toeing past Mulder and Krycek, ever so quietly. We then see their hands picking up the food mess. The women do not say a word and we see nothing but their hands and feet as they work.

CUT TO:

INT. SCULLY/MARITA/REYES’ APARTMENT – 11 AM

Doggett is awake now, he’s taking off his Marines t-shirt. He wipes it across his forehead once it’s off, to wipe off his cold sweat. He coughs. We see a bucket is next to the couch, for him to use if he needs to throw up. He reaches over and takes a sip of water. As he swallows, he has a pained expression on his face.

Scully comes out of her room in a bathrobe, using a towel to dry her hair. She’s just now showered.

SCULLY
I hope I didn’t wake you.
Feeling any better?

Doggett shakes his head “no” and holds his throat.

DOGGETT
(hoarse)
Throat’s getting’ worse, hurts to swallow.

Scully sees that his water is almost gone.

SCULLY
I’ll get you more water. You have
to keep drinking fluids.

She goes to the kitchen, keeping an eye on him. He rubs his arm across his forehead. She comes back out with the water. She hands it to him and sits next to him. She touches his forehead as he drinks, he looks at her.

SCULLY
You’re warmer. I want you to finish
this glass of water, take more Tylenol,
that’ll help bring down your temperature.

Doggett takes another small sip from the glass and watches Scully go into the bathroom and come back out with a cold, damp washcloth. She places it on his forehead and dabs it all over his face and neck.

Behind them they hear a male cough. Scully turns around and sees Robert Alfredo standing in Monica’s bedroom door frame.

Alfredo sees Doggett lying on the couch, sans chemise and all sweaty. He looks at Scully, she’s in only a bathrobe with wet hair. Since he just woke up and he’s not yet thinking straight:

ALFREDO
Man, you two finally get it on and
Monica isn’t here to see this kinky shi-

SCULLY
- Robert, what are you doing here?

Alfredo sits down in a chair.

ALFREDO
Duh. Monica. (beat) I’m surprised
you didn’t hear us last night. (teasing)
Though it looks like you were occupied.

Alfredo looks at Doggett and lets out a laugh.

DOGGETT
(hoarse/deadpan)
I’m sick.

ALFREDO
Oh.

Alfredo stands up and goes into the kitchen. Scully and Doggett share a look. Why was he making sexual comments about the two of them?

ALFREDO
(off screen)
Got any pizza layin’ around?
I need some lunch.

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – 4 PM

Monica is sitting on the exam table. Marita is in the room with her. Skinner wasn’t comfortable going in with them. They are waiting for the doctor to service them.

MONICA
I can’t believe we’ve been waiting
in here for 45 minutes. I could be
permanently damaged.

MARITA
Monica, have you never broken a bone before?

MONICA
(stubborn)
No. I’m the invincible woman. Nothing
bad is supposed to happen to me. (starts crying)
I want Bradley… he’d get the doctor in here faster…

MARITA
What about Robert?

MONICA
(stops crying)
Oh… umm…

The doctor finally enters the room. Greets them, asks his personal questions, takes one look at Monica’s foot and calls a nurse in to place the bone correctly and to put a cast on her foot. He tells Monica to come back in a week and a half for a check up and then he leaves the room. Monica is disgusted with this.

MONICA
(to Marita)
That’s all?! We waited over
six hours for that?!

Marita rolls her eyes.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER/KRYCEK’S APARTMENT – 5 PM

The boys are still sleeping on the floor. Their living room has been cleaned by the mystery women visitors.

Mulder smacks his lips and his eyes flutter open. Krycek is resting his head on Mulder’s chest. Mulder looks over to him and smiles, then gently kisses his own fingers and then touches them to Krycek’s cheek.

Mulder then looks around the room and sees that it’s clean. Excited, he shakes Krycek awake.

MULDER
Alex! The cleaning fairy came again!

Krycek sits up, hitting his head on the coffee table.

KRYCEK
See! I told you there was a cleaning fairy!

MULDER
I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before. I
just know there’s a tooth fairy, I didn’t think
there were any other kind of fairy.

They look around the apartment in amazement. Wow. Wowie…

CUT TO:

INT. SCULLY/MARITA/REYES’ APARTMENT – 5 PM

Scully, Doggett and Alfredo are watching “Gone With The Wind”. Doggett is in the corner of the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. He coughs almost continuously.

Alfredo is in the other corner, he’s wearing Monica’s navy blue robe. Scully sits in between them in her white robe. Her hair has dried funny and is poofing out.

All three sit there not talking, just watching the movie.

SCARLETT O’HARA
(on TV)
As God as my witness, I’ll never
go hungry again!

This cues the end of the first part of the film. Tired from sitting for so long, Scully yawns and stretches (her arms over her head and her legs out in front of her). She starts slipping off the couch.

SCULLY
Ok guys, it’s the intermission.
Pee if ya gotta.

DOGGETT
(hoarse)
Are we gonna have somethin’ for dinner?

ALFREDO
Yeah… I’m hungry.

Scully stands up and looks at them. She could attempt cooking on her own, she has been taking that evening cooking class for some time now…

SCULLY
I guess I could heat up some chicken soup…

ALFREDO
Doesn’t matter to me, I’ll eat anything.

SCULLY
I don’t doubt that one bit, Robert.

Scully rubs her hand on his shoulder and then heads into the kitchen, shuffling her feet. Doggett leans over to Alfredo and speaks quietly.

DOGGETT
Rumor has it she can’t cook worth a damn.
Go keep an eye on her.

Alfredo stands up and Doggett lies down, sprawling himself all over the couch.

DOGGETT
While you’re in there, could you
refill my water glass?

Alfredo gives him thumbs up. Suddenly Doggett hears something drop on the kitchen floor. By the sound of it, it could only be a pot full of soup. Alfredo screams something about his toe and pain. The noises we hear are all very chaotic.

The cordless phone on the coffee table rings, Doggett gives it his evil eye. There’s too much noise in the room. After the third ring, Doggett figures Scully and Alfredo are occupied with other things, so he answers.

DOGGETT
(groggy)
Hello?

MONICA
(filtered/ voice over)
Johnny? What are you doing at our apartment?

DOGGETT
Came over to drop off your sweatshirt.
And I’m not feelin’ well. (beat) Where
are you guys? You’ve been gone since
this morning.

MONICA
(voice over/amused)
How long have you been there?

DOGGETT
I think since about eight. Dana’s takin’
care of me, which is better than me
takin’ care of me. You know she is a
medical doctor.

MONICA
(voice over)
Interesting you say that. We’re here at the
hospital. I slipped on some ice and broke my ankle,
though I know it’s twisted and that the doctors
are just trying to milk more money out of my
visit. But I’ll tell all that later. The snow plow
has finally gone down the roads, and we would
love you forever if you could come pick us up.

DOGGETT
Mon’. I’m sick. I can barely sit up.

MONICA
Well, send Dana. I’m sure she can drive.

DOGGETT
(pause / whining)
But… I need her, Mon’…

MONICA
(voice over)
You are being a mean boy, SOLDIER!

At the word “SOLDIER!”, Doggett sits up, the blanket fall off him, he’s wearing his Marines t-shirt again.

DOGGETT
No fair Monica!

MONICA
(voice over)
We’re at the hospital on 76th street.
Pick us up.

Monica hangs up the phone. Angrily, Doggett presses the off button.

Scully comes out of the kitchen. She is upset.

SCULLY
John… I’m so sorry. I ruined the
chicken soup, and I can’t cook
anything from scratch.

Doggett stands up, because he’s dizzy he almost falls down. He goes to Scully and places his hands on her shoulders and looks down at her. She thinks he’s upset with her, and she looks away, and sniffles.

DOGGETT
We have to go pick up Monica. She’s
at the hospital, she broke her ankle.

SCULLY
(happier)
That’s great! We can stop by the grocery
store and buy some fried chicken.

Alfredo limps up behind Scully, he has a bag of frozen peas on his foot.

ALFREDO
If only she could have discovered that
novel idea before dropping a pot full
of soup on my toe.

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL – 5:45 PM

Monica, Marita and Skinner are right outside the hospital exit, waiting for Doggett to pick them up. Monica is hopping on one foot, back to where Marita and Skinner are seated. She sits on Skinner’s lap.

Marita has a thoughtful look on her face, she’s been pondering something that Monica said earlier.

MARITA
(to Monica)
No. I don’t think Doggett would pretend
sick to try to pick up a woman. Besides,
he isn’t “picking her up”, he already knows her.

MONICA
You’re missing the point. Dana is a doctor,
that gives him the excuse to get her attention.
John has lived alone for almost ten years now.
He can take care of himself. And I know Johnny,
he’s tough as nails and hates to be around people
when he’s sick. It’s all an act.

SKINNER
(remembering)
I did that once…

MARITA
Monica, Dana knows when someone is sick.
Like you said, she’s a doctor. She would never
fall for fake sickness. Believe me, I tried, Mulder
tried, Alex tried… even Walter tried and knowing
his intentions, he probably got lucky because of it.

Marita gasps in realization.

MARITA
Oh my God! Monica! I think you’re right!
Because Walter was the only one that
“convinced” her he was sick and then they
went off elsewhere to have sex! Dana and
John have been doing it all day! You’re right!

Just then, Scully and Doggett walk through the hospital doors. Monica nudges Marita. Scully is assisting Doggett, he’s light-headed. Alfredo is out in Doggett’s truck, waiting for them.

MONICA
(whispers to Marita)
Snow storm and he can go outside.
Sick, my ass.

Marita smiles, Monica is right. Marita and Skinner help Monica to her foot.

SCULLY
Guys, Robert is out in John’s truck.
He’s gonna take you back home.

MONICA
(confused)
Wait a minute. You’re not staying here, are you?

Doggett sits down in the chair.

SCULLY
(pulling Monica aside)
I feel really bad. John is really sick, and I want
him to get checked over by doctors in practice,
he hasn’t had much to eat, which is all my fault,
since I can’t cook. He shouldn’t be dehydrated
which is good –

MONICA
- You mean he’s not faking it?

SCULLY
No. Why would he?

MONICA
Because he likes you and wants your attention.

With a smirk on her face, Monica leaves Scully and hops on over to Marita and Skinner.

SCULLY
I’ll call you guys when we need
to be picked up.

We’re not sure if they heard her, they have just exited the building.

Scully shakes her head and goes back to Doggett. She sits next to him and places her hand on his knee.

SCULLY
Ready?

He nods his head and stands up. They go off in search of help.

CUT TO:

INT. SCULLY/MARITA/REYES’ APARTMENT – 9:30 PM

Monica and Alfredo are fixing popcorn in the kitchen. Skinner has decided to stay the night. He’s in the living room, watching TV. Marita is opening a few windows to get rid of Doggett’s sick germs.

SKINNER
Marita, honey. It’s twenty below outside.
You’ll get all of us sick letting that cold air in.

MARITA
They’ll only be open for twenty minutes.
I don’t want any of us to get sick like Johnny.

Monica and Alfredo come out of the kitchen with a huge bowl of popcorn. They plop down on the couch.

MONICA
So, what are we watchin’?

SKINNER
Some black and white film on
a classic movies channel.

ALFREDO
How boring.

Monica picks up the box to “Gone With The Wind”, the film Scully, Doggett and Alfredo had been watching earlier.

MONICA
And “Gone With The Wind” isn’t?

SKINNER
You don’t like it, Mon’?

MONICA
(duh)
No. It’s too long, I don’t understand
how Dana can sit and finish the film
in one sitting.

ALFREDO
We didn’t finish it. It’s not bad.
That Scarlett chick, she’s one hot
woman. Has she been in anything recently?

The room goes quiet.

SKINNER
Vivien Leigh died in 1967.

ALFREDO
Oh. (beat) Well could we finish the movie?
I want to know if Ashley will ever want to
be with Scarlett.

Everyone gives him weird looks. He shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

TIME CUT:

11:30 PM

CLOSE ANGLE – TV

It’s the end of the movie. Scarlett is sprawled out on the bottom of the staircase, inspiration and determination in her eyes, she will go back to Tara, get strength and go find Rhett and make him know that she loves him and wants to be with him.

SCARLETT
After all, tomorrow is, another day.

The music floods the room and the film ends.

ALFREDO
(voice over/upset)
That’s horse crap! It’s so not her
to fall for Rhett when that boring
Melanie died, telling Scarlett to watch
after Ashley. Scarlett has to be with Ashley!

Alfredo turns off the TV, pissed. He got emotionally involved with the film.

He turns to look at everyone. Marita and Monica have fallen asleep, they didn’t survive the last two hours of the film. Skinner sits there smiling up at Alfredo, he then decides to share some of his Scully Wisdom with Alfredo.

SKINNER
Never, ever watch the end of this movie
with Dana. You could possibly start
World War Three.

Alfredo looks at him, confused. Why would Skinner tell him this, Scarlett going to be with Ashley is “common sense”, well Alfredo “common sense”.

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – 11:50 PM

The doctors have decided to have Doggett stay the night. He’s lying in bed in a hospital gown, sleeping. Most of the lights in the room are turned off.

Sitting in a chair, next to Doggett’s bed, also asleep, is Scully. She’s covered by a blanket. She forgot to call to let the others know she was going to stay the night there as well.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER/KRYCEK’S APARTMENT – MIDNIGHT

Mulder and Krycek have fallen asleep on the couch. Only five or so hours after getting up. The TV is on the classic movie channel, “Some Like It Hot” is playing, one of Mulder’s favorite movies and he’s missing it. Poor boy.

Off screen we hear their apartment door creek open, we slowly pan over and see the heads of Angela and Farrah… the Magazine Girls. They poke their heads in, checking to see if all is clear.

ANGELA
They’re like, uh, sleeping again.

FARRAH
Like, let me in. I love Foxy when
he sleeps. Sometimes at night, I
come out from under his bed and
wipe drool off his face. He only does
that when he dreams of me.

The Magazine Girls enter and close the apartment door. They go over to Mulder and Krycek and kiss them goodnight on their cheeks. Then they go to the boys’ bedroom and hide under their beds, so they don’t get caught being there.

Krycek rubs his nose and lets out a loud sneeze. He and Mulder wake up.

KRYCEK
Hey, Mulder. There’s that smell again.
I think the specter is back.

MULDER
(yawns and goes back to sleep)
Oh.

Krycek repositions himself to be more comfortable and goes back to sleep.

As we pan back, we FADE TO BLACK.

THE END