That Mirror Was Modest Productions - 'Fox & Rat'
Title: A "Traditional" Valentine's Day
Author: Kristi
Rating: PG-13 (for slight language, nothing bad though)
Date: (first draft) June 3, 2002, (final draft) January 19, 2003, February 9, 2003
Air Date: February 10, 2003
Summary: Everyone is single on Valentine's Day, and this is what they do...
Spoilers: Current discussions on Goofy Spooky Message Board (as of: February 6, 2003 - current), 5x03 "The Laundromat", 5x16 "The Vegas Strip", 5x17 "When All Is Said And Done", 5x18 "Scully's 'Alone' Time", the list goes on for FRVS episodes... basically, read FRVS season 5. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own John Doggett, Monica Reyes, Dana Scully, Marita Covarrubias, Fox Mulder, Alex Krycek, Brad Follmer, or Walter Skinner. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.


FADE IN:

INT. DOGGETT/REYES OFFICE – FEBRUARY 14

Monica pounds away at her computer keyboard. What ever it is that she is typing, she’s very intense about it. We notice that she is wearing a dark red suit in spirit of the holiday. She stops her typing and clicks around with her mouse. The printer starts to print off whatever it was she was doing. She goes over to the printer and waits as it comes out.

Doggett enters the office carrying a red envelope with a card in it, he also carries a single daisy.

DOGGETT
Morning, Monica.

She turns to face him and smiles.

MONICA
Happy Valentines Day. I’m
just printing off your valentine.

Doggett comes over to see what is printing.

MONICA
No peeking, Johnny.

Doggett steps back away from the printer.

DOGGETT
(handing her the card & daisy)
Here, these are for you.

She takes them, grabs what was just printed and hands it to him.

DOGGETT
I would’ve gotten you a
rose, but they were all
sold out. (beat) And daisies
suit you better anyway.

She smiles, opens the envelope and takes out the card. Something falls out of the card and to the ground. Monica looks down at it, bends down and picks up the paper. She turns is over. It’s a ticket to see “The Phantom of the Opera” that night.

MONICA
What’s this?

DOGGETT
A ticket to see “The Phantom
of the Opera” tonight.

MONICA
Alone?

Doggett laughs.

DOGGETT
Yeah, like I’d really send you
out on Valentine’s Day to go
see the opera alone. (beat) I
thought maybe, since you and I
are once again single, that we
could go together, like a “date”
or something.

He indicates “date” with the quotations using his fingers.

MONICA
I see, so we don’t seem
so lonely again.

Doggett just smiles at her.

MONICA
That’ll be fun.

Monica goes over to her desk and throws out her old daisy, that was dying, in the trashcan. She takes the vase and the new daisy to go put fresh water in it. She leaves the office.

TIME CUT TO:

INT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT – LATER THAT EVENING

Scully and Marita are in the kitchen making cookie dough. They are making a ton of it. They are both dressed in pajamas.

MARITA
I’m so glad we are having
girls night. This day would’ve
been so hard alone ever
since Walter and I broke up.

SCULLY
Now you know how I feel.

She dumps sugar into a bowl and starts to mix it.

SCULLY
And to think, a year ago
I was engaged to your ex.
(beat) It’s kind of ironic.

MARITA
Yeah I know. And Monica broke
up with Alfredo. (beat) Maybe
we should have an ex-boyfriend bon fire.

Scully stops mixing.

SCULLY
Marita, don’t you remember the
last time we did that? We both got hurt.

MARITA
Oh yeah. It took me forever
to grow that hair back.

O.S., they hear Monica enter. Marita looks happy to hear that she is home. Monica enters the kitchen.

MARITA
Hi Mon. How was work?

MONICA
Good. (beat) What are you making?

SCULLY
Cookie dough. We’re having
a girls night since we’re
all single.

MONICA
You’ll have to count me out.

This gets Marita and Scully’s attention.

SCULLY
(nosey)
Really?

MONICA
Yeah, I’m going to see “The
Phantom of the Opera” tonight.

MARITA
Ooh… I love that! Who’s the guy?

MONICA
Just a friend.

They both eye her suspiciously.

SCULLY
Yeah, whatever. (beat) That’s
what I always said too.

MARITA
And we all know what
happened on those nights.

SCULLY
(to Monica)
I have just the thing
for you to wear.

Scully runs out of the kitchen.

MONICA
He’s seriously just a friend.

A moment later, Scully runs in with a red dress.

SCULLY
It’s perfect for the spirit
of Valentine’s Day.

MARITA
A little sexy, yet romantic.

They smile at her.

MONICA
But-

SCULLY
No “buts”. You’re wearing it.

She hands the dress to Monica and pushes her towards her room.

SMALL TIME CUT:

INT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT – 6:20PM

Scully and Marita have their bowls of cookie dough on their laps. They are watching some overly done piece of fluff romance movie.

Monica comes out of her room. She’s wearing the red dress.

MONICA
Do you seriously think this
is appropriate for the opera?

Scully looks over to her.

SCULLY
Why not?

MONICA
Look at it.

Scully does. It’s very short and revealing, something Monica Reyes would never be caught wearing. The red of the dress is a little too red, very bright.

MONICA
I’m not wearing it. (beat)
Don't you remember the last
time you dressed me up?

She leaves the room. Scully gets up off the couch to help her. Marita continues to watch the movie.

On the screen an overly dramatic “lovey-dovey” piece of fluffy mushy crap can be heard. Marita makes a disgusted look as the scene continues.

MARITA
Blah, blah…

She takes a spoonful of cookie dough and chucks it at the TV. She hits the screen right on. Marita laughs a bit.

Scully comes back out.

SCULLY
I’ve convinced her to
wear my sexy black dress.
She can be so difficult sometimes.

MARITA
I know.

Scully looks over at the screen. She sees the cookie dough.

SCULLY
(re: cookie dough on TV)
What happened?

MARITA
I didn’t like what was
happening. Not in the mood
for over the top romance fluff.

Scully nods in agreement. Despite their feelings towards the film, they continue watching.

There is a knock at the door. Marita and Scully share a look.

MARITA
Could that be Monica’s
mysterious date?

SCULLY
Let’s find out.

They both get off the couch and go over to the door. They open it and low and behold, there stands John Doggett. He’s dressed in a nice suit. Marita and Scully are taken back by who is there.

SCULLY
(confused)
John? What are you doing here?

It seems as if they haven’t put two and two together.

DOGGETT
(like it’s obvious)
I’m here to pick up Monica.

MARITA
(jumping to conclusions)
Oh…

She smiles at him, as if she knows something. They let him in.

Monica comes out of her room. She’s now wearing Scully’s sexy black dress. It’s a little shorter and revealing than what Monica would like to wear. She hasn’t noticed Doggett.

MONICA
Dana, I still think
this is a little slutty.

She looks up and notices Doggett.

MONICA
(to Doggett)
Oh hi.

Marita goes over to Monica.

MARITA
(excited)
It’s too late, your date is here.

DOGGETT
Are you ready, or will you
be changing some more?

MONICA
Well, we should probably be
there on time. (beat) Let
me get my coat.

She grabs her coat and heads towards the door.

MARITA
(giddy)
Have fun you two.

She smiles a big smile at them.

MONICA
Bye, and don’t make
a mess of the place.

She obviously noticed the cookie dough sliding down the TV screen. Doggett opens the door, and they leave.

Marita turns to Scully, who is sitting on the couch watching the fluff romance movie. Marita’s eyes are wide with excitement.

MARITA
Oh my goodness! I had no
clue they liked each other.

Scully says nothing. Marita continues.

MARITA
I mean, I always thought
they were just friends. Ya know?

She notices Scully’s glum expression.

MARITA
Oh Dana, what’s wrong?

SCULLY
I’m just realizing that I’ll
have no one for the rest of my life.

Marita looks at her puzzled.

MARITA
Why, whatever do you mean?

Scully lets out a sigh.

SCULLY
I was engaged this time
last year. (beat) And
now look at me.

Marita does.

SCULLY
I’m home on Valentine’s Day
watching fluff and eating
cookie dough. (beat) I’m
going to be an old maid for
the rest of my life.

MARITA
Oh Dana, you can be my maid
once I'm married. You won't
be alone for the rest of your life.

Marita gives Scully a smile. Scully looks over at her, not smiling...

TIME CUT TO:

INT. ANDERSON THEATRE – LATER THAT NIGHT

“The Phantom of the Opera” has just finished it’s first half. The intermission has started. Doggett and Monica are sitting in very nice seats, very close to the stage, but not too close.

DOGGETT
So, what do you think
of it so far?

MONICA
I love it. I’ve always wanted
to see this, but I never had the time.

DOGGETT
Well I’m glad I could help out.

A beat passes as a thought crosses Monica’s mind.

MONICA
Tell me, why out of everyone
we know did you ask me to come
with you tonight?

DOGGETT
Because I knew you’ve
never seen this before.
(beat)Plus, we're both
single and it's tradition.

MONICA
Oh yeah. We have a lot
of strange traditions.
(beat) What about Dana?

DOGGETT
What do you mean 'what about Dana'?

Monica lets out a sigh.

MONICA
You like her. Why didn't you
ask her to go with you tonight?

DOGGETT
It's not the right setting.

Monica rolls her eyes.

MONICA
John, I can't believe you are
still stuck on those ridiculous
settings. I thought you grew out
of them. (beat) What is your setting?

DOGGETT
I don't want to tell you,
you'll just laugh at me.

MONICA
No I won't.

John sits there looking at the stage, not wanting to make eye contact with Monica because he knows if he does, she'll make him tell.

MONICA
John?

DOGGETT
No.

MONICA
John, I'm your best friend,
you have to tell me. It's
what you always do.

He looks over at her. She's right. He always tells her things.

DOGGETT
Ok, you win. (beat) I'd like
to take her to Paris and ask
her out on the Eiffel Tower.

Monica smiles.

MONICA
That's so sweet.

DOGGETT
That way I can say "we'll
always have Paris". (beat)
But I can't because I have
no excuse to take a trip with
her to Paris. It's impossible.

MONICA
Maybe you should try to
find an un-impossible setting.

Doggett looks over at her.

DOGGETT
Like what?

MONICA
I don't know. (beat) Well,
when Brad asked me out the
first time, we were in a park
taking a walk alone together.

A smile comes over Monica's face as she remembers. Doggett listens.

MONICA
We were looking at the stars,
and he looked into my eyes,
told me how much he loved me,
and asked me out. (beat) It
was that easy, John.

DOGGETT
But I like my Paris setting.

Monica rolls her eyes.

The lights dim, and the music to open the second part starts as a cue for everyone to come back and get settled in.

CUT TO:

INT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT

Marita and Scully are still sitting on the couch. We notice that more cookie dough has been tossed at the TV. Marita and Scully have stopped eating the cookie dough. They seem to be bored of whatever movie they have on.

SCULLY
I don’t know about you,
but I’m sick to death
of these fluff romance movies.

MARITA
Me too, Dana.

SCULLY
Let’s watch a slasher movie.

Marita shrugs, not really her type of movie, but at this point in time, it’s better than romance fluff.

Scully digs through all the videos they have, and finds “Nightmare on Elm Street”. She holds it up for Marita’s approval. Marita nods her head as she takes a sip of her water. Scully puts the movie in.

MARITA
(singing)
One, two Freddy’s coming for you.
Three, four better lock your door.

SCULLY
Stop that.

MARITA
Sorry.

CUT TO:

INT. ANDERSON THEATRE

"The Phantom of the Opera" is going smoothly. Monica looks entranced by the show. Doggett looks over at her. He looks a little bothered by something.

DOGGETT
(whisper)
Monica?

Monica leans over (trans-like), not taking her eyes off the stage.

MONICA
Hm?

DOGGETT
(whisper)
What about what happened
the other day on Goofy Spooky?

Monica looks over at him.

MONICA
What?

DOGGETT
You know, when Dana was talking
with Krycek about going over to
his place and... doin'... things.

MONICA
Ok? What do you mean?

DOGGETT
I mean she's doin' the nasty
with Alex Krycek.

MONICA
I tried to stop her. But
she wouldn't listen.

DOGGETT
I don't think she's intersted in me.

MONICA
Yes she is.

DOGGETT
No she isn't.

PERSON #1
(mad)
Can you please be quiet.

John and Monica look back at the person.

MONICA
I'm sorry.

She turns her attention back to the stage.

DOGGETT
Mon?

MONICA
Not now, John.

DOGGETT
But what do you think?

PERSON #1
Sir, please be quiet.

Doggett ignores the person.

MONICA
John, we can discuss this later.
I have never seen this before,
and I'd like to keep following it.

DOGGETT
Ok.

He turns his attention back to the stage.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER & KRYCEK'S APARTMENT

The boys are sitting on their couch. The movie "Ghost" is playing in their VCR. Mulder has tears in his eyes.

MULDER
(quivering)
Alex, I love this movie.

Krycek looks over at him like he's crazy.

KRYCEK
Mulder, this movie is so
stupid. (beat) Ooh... I
can lift a penny... ooh,
I'm so cool... It's gay.

Mulder looks over at him like he's some kind of heartless bastard. He hits him hard in the stomach.

MULDER
How can you be so heartless!?

KRYCEK
What are you talking about?

MULDER
(truly upset)
Look at this movie as if it
were you and Marita. (beat)
Wouldn't you lift a penny to
let her know you were there?

KRYCEK
No. Besides, she doesn't love
me any more, remember? And she's
betrothed to some Westly guy. (beat)
I hate this movie. It's so dumb.

MULDER
You are heartless.

KRYCEK
Yeah well... I don't care.

MULDER
No kidding.

Mulder takes a tissue up to his eyes to get rid of his tears that are streaming down his cheeks. Krycek looks on, being stubborn. Mulder continues to look at him, waiting for him to break.

Suddenly, a tear falls down Krycek's cheek as he watches "Ghost". Mulder starts crying more, and passes Krycek a tissue. He takes it.

KRYCEK
(crying)
If you tell anyone I cried,
I'm gonna kill you punk.

He wipes his tears away and Mulder nods his head. They continue to watch the movie.

TIME CUT TO:

EXT. ANDERSON THEATRE – 10PM

“The Phantom of the Opera” has just finished. People are leaving. Monica and Doggett make their way to Doggett’s truck. The parking lot is jammed.

MONICA
Looks like we’ll be here for awhile.

Doggett checks out the jammed traffic.

DOGGETT
I hate parking lots.

MONICA
Could be worse, it could be raining.

They reach his car, and get in.

DOGGETT
It’s still early, you wanna
go out for a drink or something?

MONICA
As long as you don’t drink.

He laughs in agreement.

CUT TO:

INT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT

All the lights are off. The movie is running.

MARITA
(to TV)
Dumb chick! Don’t go
in the house!

Scully laughs.

MARITA
She’s so stupid! She deserves to die!

SCULLY
Well, that’s kind of the
point of these types of movies.

They watch.

MARITA
She’s so stupid!

She takes a spoonful of cookie dough and tosses it at the TV. Scully joins in.

SCULLY
(re: cookie dough)
Right in the nose.

Marita laughs.

MARITA
This is so much fun!
We should do this more often.

SCULLY
I know!

MARITA
This definitely beats doing
an ex-boyfriend bon fire.

SCULLY
And it’s a lot safer.

MARITA
(attempting a joke)
Unless, we fall asleep, and
Freddy comes for us.

Scully laughs a little at the pathetic little “joke”.

CUT TO:

INT. ICE CREAM PARLOR – 10:30PM

Doggett and Monica are sitting in this empty ice cream parlor in a booth in the back. They both have huge sundaes in front of them.

MONICA
If you were a shoe, which
one would you be?

Doggett thinks for a beat.

DOGGETT
I guess I would be a running shoe.

MONICA
That is so you.

Doggett puts another spoonful of his sundae in his mouth. After a beat to eat it…

DOGGETT
If you were a color, which
color would you be?

MONICA
You mean you can’t tell?

Doggett gives her a look that tells her to answer.

MONICA
Ok, I’d be yellow.

DOGGETT
Why?

MONICA
I don’t know. It’s a bright
and happy color. It’s often
associated with the sun. I
love the sun.

DOGGETT
Ok.

They continue eating their sundaes. Monica puts her spoon down after a few more bites.

MONICA
I think I ate too much.

Doggett laughs.

DOGGETT
You hardly ate any. (beat)
I’ll finish it.

MONICA
Johnny, you haven’t even
finished yours.

DOGGETT
So. (beat) I’m a growing boy.

Monica rolls her eyes, and slides her sundae over to him. He happily takes it.

A thought enters his head and his expression changes a bit to more serious.

DOGGETT
Mon?

MONICA
What?

DOGGETT
(looking down)
You tell me Dana likes me,
but why did she go have sex
the other night with Alex Krycek?

MONICA
I don't know John.

DOGGETT
(looking up)
Yes you do. You always
know everything. Remember,
that's how Reyes' work. (beat)
You told me so yourself.

Monica sighs.

MONICA
Can I tell you what I think?
And this isn't factual. It's
an observation. She hasn't told me this.

DOGGETT
Ok.

MONICA
I don't think she wants to wait
forever. (beat) She's not getting
any younger. She use to be engaged,
and now she's not. It's a mid life
crisis. Like when you had one and
proposed to me in the laundromat.
She does the same thing, only she
goes to Alex Krycek.

DOGGETT
But you said she knows I like her.

MONICA
She does.

DOGGETT
Why can't she wait? I have
a lot of things to get over.

MONICA
I know, but I don't think
she understands. (beat) You
have to talk to her once in
a while, ya know? I mean, she
didn't even know about Luke
until she lost your wallet in Vegas.

DOGGETT
I know.

MONICA
Don't you remember what my
Grand Mama told you when you
were little?

Doggett looks up at her.

MONICA
She told you that your life
would be very hard. But she
also told you that everything
will work out fine in the end.

DOGGETT
Monica, as much as you believe
your Grand Mama's "psychic" words,
I don't believe in that mumbo-jumbo.
I don't believe anyone can see into
the future.

MONICA
But she can, John.

DOGGETT
It's impossible.

MONICA
No it's not. My Grand Mama,
is a very special lady.

DOGGETT
It was a lucky guess. She saw
how I was growing up. The way
my mother is towards me, and
my father, and she told me that
things would be hard in my life
and to make me feel better she
told me that it would all be
fine in the end. (beat) It's B.S.

Monica looks a bit hurt.

MONICA
My Grand Mama isn't
full of bull shit, John.

Doggett doesn't say anything. He takes a bite out of his sundae. Monica looks at him, upset with what he said. Doggett senses how he has hurt her.

He looks up at her. She looks away from him, almost as if she's about to cry.

DOGGETT
I'm sorry, Mon'.

MONICA
No you're not.

DOGGETT
Yes I am. I love your
Grand Mama, but I just
can't believe in it.

Monica says nothing, and refuses to look at him. Doggett gets up out of his booth and walks around the table and sits next to her. He puts his arm around her.

DOGGETT
I'm sorry. I'm an asshole.

MONICA
You're not an asshole, John.

DOGGETT
Yes I am.

MONICA
No you're not.

DOGGETT
I was just now. I'm sorry.

She looks over at him. He smiles at her.

DOGGETT
You're Grand Mama is a very
special lady.

MONICA
And she probably knows
right now what you have
been saying about her.

DOGGETT
And knowing her, she's rolling
her eyes at stubborn Johnny Jay.

Monica laughs, knowing that he's probably right. Doggett slides his sundae away from him.

DOGGETT
I think I ate too much too, Mon'.

He smiles at her, and she laughs at him.

MONICA
I told you you couldn't
finish them both.

CUT TO:

INT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT – 11PM

Scully is laying on the couch, her head over the side watching the TV up side down. Marita has somehow made her way to the floor. A bottle of vodka is on the table, almost empty. Scully is laughing for no reason.

MARITA
(to TV)
Don’t go upstairs!

Marita drinks the rest of the vodka. Scully stops laughing.

SCULLY
You didn’t give me the rest?

Marita looks at her pathetically. She looks down into the bottle. Empty. Scully sits up. She takes a spoonful of cookie dough and throws it at Marita. It hits Marita on her forehead. Scully starts to laugh again.

MARITA
Hey…

Marita grabs a handful of cookie dough and tosses it at Scully. She gets it in her hair. Before either one of them realizes what is going on, they both start rapidly throwing cookie dough at one another. They miss each other, and the cookie dough splats on the walls, furniture, pictures, everything. The apartment is becoming a huge mess of cookie dough.

CUT TO:

EXT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT – 11:10PM

Doggett and Monica pull up in front of the apartment. Doggett gets out and opens Monica’s door.

MONICA
(teasing)
What a gentleman.

Doggett says nothing. She’s always picking on him.

DOGGETT
I had fun tonight. (beat)
But I think I ate too much.

Monica laughs. She knew he would.

MONICA
Me too. (beat) Thank you so much
for taking me to see “Phantom of
the Opera”. It was great.

DOGGETT
Yeah.

MONICA
I'll see ya tomorrow.

He nods his head. Before either one of them realizes what is happening, Doggett kisses Monica for a beat. He pulls away realizing what happened. It’s a very awkward moment for both of them. He backs away from her.

MONICA
(shocked)
Ok… That was weird.

Doggett says nothing. He's embarrassed, knowing Monica will never let this one down.

DOGGETT
(embarrassed)
Sorry. (beat) Forget that
ever happened. (beat) It;s
just a habit. (beat) Night.

MONICA
A habit? John, you haven't
been on a date in almost a decade.

Doggett stops walking away, and turns around to face her.

DOGGETT
(confessing)
Ok, I was just practicing.

MONICA
(lifts and eyebrow)
Practicing? For what?

DOGGETT
(embarrassed)
For when I'm on a real date.

Monica can't help but smile at the dumb things John sometimes does.

MONICA
(smiles, knowing)
A real date with who?

Doggett has started to walk away.

DOGGETT
(lying)
No one.

MONICA
You mean Dana, right?

Doggett doesn't say anything he just looks at her with that look on his face that says she's right. Monica smiles.

MONICA
John, you can be so weird sometimes.

She laughs to herself a bit. He turns away and goes into his truck. Monica slowly turns away and heads into the apartment.

INT. MARITA/SCULLY/MONICA APARTMENT – CON’T

Monica opens the door to the apartment. Marita and Scully are still tossing cookie dough at each other. Monica’s eyes go wide as she sees the huge mess.

SCULLY
I’ll get you my pretty,
and your little kitty too!

She tosses cookie dough at Marita. Marita ducks, and it goes all over the wall behind her.

MONICA
STOP!

Marita freezes, mid-throw. Scully stays still. Monica shuts the door behind her. She carefully enters. She’s mad at the both of them. She knows that if she says anything, they won’t listen. Or they’ll throw cookie dough at her, especially if she yells. Monica has noticed the empty bottle of vodka on the floor.

MONICA
(intense, trying to be calm)
Pick up this mess.

She walks by them, not saying another word. She goes into her room and shuts the door.

Scully and Marita burst out laughing. Marita tosses the cookie dough at Scully. Scully tosses more at her.

Off this ridiculous sight, we…

FADE OUT:

THE END.