Title: “Leyla and the Two Bullets”
Author: Kristi
Feedback: If you really think it deserves it (xf_endroad@yahoo.com)
Archive: Addicted To Doggett, my sites! Anyone else, please ask.
Rating: PG
Website: https://www.angelfire.com/ks3/manydeaths/index.html
Spoilers: “Travelers” & “Release” mention
Category: Follmer-fic, DRF, FRR implied, DSR implied. character death, humor, AU
Summary: A.D. Brad Follmer gets annoyed with a new agent.
Disclaimer: I do not own Brad Follmer. He belongs to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. I do not own Agent Leyla Harrison, she belongs to Frank Spotnitz, Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Date: January 24, 2003
Author’s Note: It just came to me… =) Warning, I do not in any way like the character Agent Leyla Harrison (“Alone” and “Scary Monsters”), if you do, you will probably not like this fan fic.
FADE IN:INT. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR BRAD FOLLMER’S OFFICE – DAY
Assistant Director Brad Follmer had to get up early that day to get ready to show a new agent around the FBI. He hadn’t heard much about her and thought he’d dig into her resume. He did, and couldn’t find anything too big about her. He wondered why he was in charge of this new agent. He took care of child abduction, homicide, etc. He didn’t know, but maybe the director had reasons. Anyway, he shrugged his shoulders. It’s probably just a plot convenience.
Then came a quiet knock on the door.
“Come in.” Follmer said.
He wondered why his secretary didn’t buzz him and let him know someone wanted to see him. Then again, his secretary was hardly ever at her desk.
The office door creaked open and in walked the new agent. Her bleach blond hair was in the same style as Agent Dana Scully’s. Follmer took notice. He also noticed that she dressed like her.
“You must be Agent Harrison?” Follmer asked.
“Yes, I am.” Agent Harrison said.
“Ok, have a seat please.” Follmer said, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Agent Harrison sat down.
“I was looking over your resume-“ Follmer said, suddenly being cut off by Agent Harrison.
“-Will I be working with Agents Mulder or Scully?” She asked.
“Excuse me?” Follmer asked, wondering where she was getting this from.
“You know,” Harrison said, thinking he’s dumb or something. “Agents Mulder and Scully?”
“No, you won’t.” Follmer said. “Anyway, I was looking over your-“
She interrupts him again. Brad lets out an irritated sigh.
“You know I’d love to work with Agents Mulder and Scully.” Harrison said, trying to sound innocent through her annoying voice.
“You can’t.” Follmer said. “Besides, agent Mulder has been abducted from aliens and is busy running away from shadowy government agents, and Agent Scully is teaching at Quantico.”
“Get her transferred.” Harrison said. “You are an Assistant Director, you can do that.”
She has an intense demand in her voice. Follmer looks at her questioning.
“May I ask you something?” He asks, leaning forward just a bit. “Why are you obsessed with Agents Mulder and Scully?”
“I’m not obsessed.” Harrison says, complete seriousness in her voice.
“Then explain to me why you come in here when we are suppose to be talking about your new job, and all you can talk about is agents Mulder and Scully.” Follmer says.
“I don’t think I’m following.” Harrison says. “I admire agents Mulder and Scully. They discovered the x-files.”
“Actually,” Follmer says. “The x-files were originally founded about fifty years ago. They were filed under the letter ‘U’ for ‘unsolved’. The director is the one that declares a case unsolvable. An agent Dales was the original agent to re-open investigation into these unsolved cases.”
“That’s not true.” Harrison says. “If it were, the x-files would be called the ‘u-files’.”
Brad rolls his eyes.
“They ran out of room in the ‘U’ section and had to move them to ‘X’.” Follmer states. “Don’t you know your history?”
Harrison looks pissed. She can’t be wrong. She knows that Agents Mulder and Scully were the one’s who founded the x-files. No one else.
“And if you also recall,” Follmer continues. “Agent Mulder re-opened the x-files again in 1990 with Agent Diana Fowley.”
“Not that name again!” Harrison shouts.
She doesn’t look sane right now. Follmer backs away.
“You can’t be right! I’m right!” She yells at him.
“Agent Harrison, control your self.” Follmer calmly says. He can’t believe a new agent is acting this psychotic.
“Agent Mulder founded the x-files with Agent Scully. That’s how it has to be!” Harrison gets up and begins to pace the room. “They founded the x-files together because they are in love.”
Follmer gives her a questioning look. Now, is he questioning her words, or her sanity? Hmmm… probably both.
Harrison suddenly stops pacing the room and stops right in front of Brad’s desk. She looks intense, in a frightening way.
“You have to assign me to the x-files.” She commands. “I have to make sure Agent Scully and Doggett don’t get together. I have to make sure Agents Doggett and Reyes get together so there is no threat for Mulder and Scully.”
Considering what she’s saying, she sounds very serious… in a frightening kind of way. Follmer looks at her calmly… how do deal with a psycho…
“Agent Harrison,” Brad starts. “Please, have a seat.”
He gestures again to a seat in front of his desk.
“Cut the crap!” Harrison shouts.
“Can we?” he smirks. “There’s a lot of crap to cut through.”
She sits down.
“You will take me to the x-files now, or I’ll kill you.” Harrison demands, and suddenly pulls out her gun.
Brad looks at her, the calm staying on his face. How in the world did she already get her gun?!
“And what is it exactly that you hope to do once you are down in the basement?” Follmer asks calmly.
“I can’t tell you!” Harrison yells. “Now get up or I’ll kill you!”
She aims her gun at him, fires it, but just misses his head. A warning shot.
Off Brad Follmer’s look…
CUT TO:
INT. DOGGETT & REYES’ X-FILES OFFICE
“Monica, that’s a load of B.S. Who in their right mind would believe that kind of hocus pocus?” says John Doggett.
Monica Reyes looks at him, a little bit hurt by his comment.
“I do.” She says.
“Yeah well…” Doggett says, not sure what to say.
“Yeah well what, John?” Monica asks.
“Yeah well…” Doggett says, trying to think. Couldn’t he have said something a little more witty than ‘yeah well…’? “I think it’s mumbo jumbo.”
“Mumbo jumbo?” Monica says. “John, has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, it hurts my feelings when you call my theories ‘B.S’, ‘mumbo jumbo’, ‘hocus pocus’… the list goes on. I never put down your theories.”
“That’s because my theories are normal.” John says.
Monica rolls her eyes.
“You’re just afraid to open your mind to extreme possibilities.” Monica states.
Doggett looks over at her.
“Yeah I do.” He says.
“No you don’t, John.” Monica says.
“Yes I do.” John says.
“Why are you two fighting?” Comes the annoying voice of Agent Leyla Harrison, as she enters their office with her gun to Brad Follmer’s head.
John and Monica look over at her. They immediately stand up, drawing their guns and aiming at her.
“Who are you, and why do you have Mr. Follmer as your hostage?” Agent Doggett asks.
“I’m Agent Harrison.” Leyla says.
“Drop the gun.” Monica demands.
“Listen to me. You guys are in love.” Harrison says.
Doggett and Reyes cringe at the thought.
“Whoa, what?” Says agent Doggett.
“You and Agent Reyes are in love.” Leyla repeats.
“But I love Brad.” Monica says.
“NO! You can’t!” Harrison shouts at Monica. “You love Agent Doggett! And besides Follmer killed Doggett’s son!”
“What?” says Follmer.
“That’s why you can’t love him!” Harrison shouts.
“Nicholas Regali killed my son.” Doggett says.
“No he didn’t!” Harrison says, getting frustrated that no one believes her. “Follmer did!”
“What the hell is she talking about?” asks Follmer.
“I don’t know.” Monica says.
“You know Mon’, I change my mind.” Doggett says. “You’re theories are normal compared to this B.S.”
“Told you.” Monica simply says.
“Can you please give me a gun?” Brad asks. “She threw mine out the window.”
Monica watches Leyla as she approaches Brad.
“What are you doing, Agent Reyes?” Leyla asks with an insane, intense, innocence in her tone.
“Nothing…” Monica says carefully as she hands her gun to Brad.
Leyla’s eyes go wide with insanity!
“NO-OOOOO!” Harrison screams.
She takes her gun off Brad’s head and aims it at Monica. Leyla shoots at her.
BANG!
Then suddenly, Leyla makes no noise. Monica stands in place a bit stunned. Blood oozes out of Agent Leyla Harrison’s head… she has been shot. She falls to the ground.
“Nice shootin’!” Doggett says to Follmer with a smile on his face.
“Thank you, Agent Doggett.” Follmer says.
Brad goes up to Monica.
“You ok?” He asks her, checking her over just to be sure.
“Yeah… she just missed me.” Monica says.
They all turn around and look at the wall behind Monica. It has bullet holes in it.
“What the hell was her problem?” Monica asks.
“I don’t know.” Brad says. “She seemed obsessed with the idea of agents Mulder and Scully in a romantic relationship.”
“So why did she bring you down here?” Doggett asks.
“I think so she could makes sure you and Agent Scully don’t get in a romantic relationship.” Brad says.
“Well, she’s a little late.” Doggett says with a smile on his face.
Suddenly, agent Harrison stirs on the ground. She’s not dead!!
“NO! You can’t love her! You love Agent Reyes! And Mulder and Scully love each other!!” Agent Harrison shouts at the top of her lungs.
Brad Follmer gives her an annoyed look… why the hell won’t she die!
He lifts his gun up towards her head and shoots her again. This time it kills her. She falls to the ground again, and this time, that is where she will rest… that is until someone moves her body to the morgue.
Off the thankful looks of Assistant Director Brad Follmer, Agent Monica Reyes, and Agent John Doggett, we…
FADE OUT:
THE END.