Aggravated Assault

"Returning The Favor"-Part 6

The scene comes into focus inside of a dark room, the lights are completely off, and the only source of light, which by the way is very very dim, is a candle sitting in the corner. A shadow covers part of the floor near the candle, and the camera focuses in to see that the shadow is of a man.. a man known as PKA.. the REAL International Champion- one-half of Aggravated Assault. He looks disturbed, as if he was not 'all there'. He sits, legs crossed, arms crossed, rocking back and forth. His hair is in a ponytail, and as he moves both ways it bounces off his back and neck. He stares down, deep into the floor. What is wrong with this man?

PKA: I..I..I.. I have lost my mind! Everyone... Everything.. its all.. its all.. its all spinning! Everyone is screaming at me! There is no reason to live! I am just a mere mortal in a land of immortality and I shall not belong here much longer! I.. I fear, for Ash's sake, that my death will do everyone including her good. Its for the best, I must finish it off! I am .. no I'm serious, don't talk back! As I was saying, I'm freaking out! I don't know what is right from right and what is wrong from wrong and.. shut up! Stop talkin' to me! I..

PKA busts out in laughter and stands up quickly. He leans down, with hands on his knees, laughign his ass off! He blows out the candle and flips on the lights with the switch on the side of the wall.

PKA: Oh My! Oh My god!

PKA can't stop laughing! He tries to catch his breath and stop laughing, slowly, but surely.. he does.

PKA: Wow, that was insane! Ladies and gentalmen, in the camera world, that was my impression of the REALLLLLLLL Natcha Boyyy, Christian Wright-in the middle of a nervous breakdown!

PKA nods to the camera, and grins slightly. He chuckles a bit, and puts his hands in his pockets and starts to walk around the room, which, is empty. He glares at the camera now and then.

PKA: I just thought I'd show you how stupid you look Christian! I mean, come on, who the hell is SAM!? Is that like your gay lover or something? In all seriousness though, talking to yourself isn't exactly the best way to get chicks.. so maybe you are giving off some sort of vibe! Huh? What do YOU (pointing to the camera) think, folks? In my opinion, well, I haven't one..wow that sounded weird.. better stop watching those war movies with british soldiers and shit.... anyways.. Christian Wright, are you crazy boy!? Look, I know what its like to lose a few matches and have people talk about me but come on, you are going nuts! No wait, you are on the verge of insanity, complete insanity! Look, while you're in the mood to talk to people in mirrors, there's a guy that moved into your bedroom wall that owes me a hundred dollars, could you hit him up for me? Thanks, I'll get back to you for that later.

PKA walks towards a wall that has three pictures up on it. They are the pictures of his opponents on Malice, Christian Wright, Weltmeister, and Quake. He points to Christian's picture.

PKA: Please, my friend, get real. Wait, I thought you were already real? Nevermind.. my point is, you aren't doing yourself any good by taking pills and talking to the mirror mirror on wall.. because we already know who the stupidest is of them all! You say I'm past my prime? Damn, so tell me, is 19 the new 50 this year? And let me ask you this too, how is it that you call me a cocky SOB, yet your entrance music's title is "Cocky"? The only real way to justify all of this crazy talk, is SAM..if its who I think it is, god man, snap out of it!


We switch scenes now to the office of Lieutenant Scott Smith. He goes through a few of his papers on his desk, and pulls out two that are almost identical. They are forms for the two detectives, Misty Bradford and Matt Stevens. There is a knock on the door and Jenny Rice steps in, announcing the arrival of the two detectives.

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Come, come.

The Detectives walk in, past Jenny, and sit down on the two chairs across Smith's desk. Rice closes the door and The Lieutenant looks at the people across from him.

Lieutenant Scott Smith: You two, have done rather well lately, I believe. Well, with the acception to what happened the other day.. I'll let that slide though. I know you two are both working very hard lately and sometimes you tend to lose your sense of concentration and don't always do what is the right thing to do, so I'm going to help you out a bit.

Detective Misty Bradford: What, sir, do you mean by that? If I may ask..

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Well, Miss Bradford, I am ordering the two of you to take a mandatory vacation.

The Detectives get a curious look on their faces.

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Yes, that's right, mandatory vacation. Do what you like, for however long you like, just make it longer than two weeks. You two have done enough lately, I am giving you some time to escape from work. Any questions?

Detective Matt Stevens: Yes sir, I have one. Did we do something wrong? Because it seems to me that you are angry with us.

He reasures them in a calm, collected voice.

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Oh no, that is not the case, I just want to reward the two of you for the very..very hard work you do each and every day. Now, if you have no more questions, that will be all. ....... no? Alright, have a good day, and well, a good vacation detectives.

They both get up from their seats and look at each other. They nod to the Lieutenant and exit the room. The Lieutenant smiles to himself, and reclines back in his chair with his arms crossed behind his head acting as a head rest.

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Finally, now those damn fools won't be in the way.

We go to the Detectives, as they walk down the steps after collecting their supplies they need and putting others away.

Detective Matt Stevens: This is bullshit.

Detective Misty Bradford: No, no Matt.. this is good, this is very, very good.


We change back to PKA now, as he is in the room still, he now points to Weltmeister.

PKA: This guy, hell, he's quite large! I'm wondering how many steroids the fellow..damnit, there's that damn Brit talk again!.. anyways, he must take a lot of drugs because he's a monster! Not to say that people can't get huge without steroids, just look at Adam, but come on now! If his veins were popping out anymore than they already are I could limbo under them! Weltmeister, you actually believe I have a good shot at winning the match on Malice, good assumption. You may be very big, but you are also very wise. I do not know where they get off saying that people who are real large are real dumb, because you certainly pinned the tail on the jackass.. jackass. Its 'bout damn time someone figured it out! I am..without a shadow of a doubt, the most talented man in Netlink Wrestling. I can keep up with the most lucha luchadores. I can out wrestle the mat specialists. I can inflict pain with the best of 'em, and I can definately be just as insane as Christian Wright, yet I choose to do that in the ring! Welt-man, you may be much larger than I am, but what's different, right? I'm a small guy, but I'm a fast guy.. and I will show you exactly how that will make things go in my favor, this coming Malice, when I survive the double elimination match and walk out the NEW.. nWo Champion.

PKA pauses, licks his lips, and bends down. He has a water bottle sitting on the floor, and he picks it up. He opens it and takes a long drink and then goes 'ahh' afterwards. He puts the cap back on and drops the bottle. He makes a sharp, sort of comedic turn to the wall again, now pointing to Quake.

PKA: About fourteen months ago I made my return to the WoW by attacking Quake, and not to long after that, I beat you Quake, one on one, one..two..three. I have a win over you and yet that is something you do not have over me! You got nothin' on me bro... nada! QVC..pshh, its all about P..K..A, and me winning the nWo Championship! On Malice, I'm going to show you just what its like to get beat by me again, yet this time, you'll be taken to.. the.. extreme! Its going to be de ja vu all over again for you Quaker.. The Quake One goes down for the three count and then.. you, along with Wright and Weltmeister, will be bowing down to me, your NEW..leader!


Lastly, we go to the living room where we see Ash walking towards the telephone, which is ringing. She picks it up.

Ash: Hello?

Man: Hello, is this Ash?

Ash: Yes it is, may I ask who is speaking?

Lieutenant Scott Smith: This is Lieutenant Scott Smith, how are you today?

Ash: I'm doing fine, and yourself?

Lieutenant Scott Smith: I'm doing good. Listen, PKA said something about you being the one who would deliver my money, is that still good with you?

Ash: ... yeah..

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Good, I suggested it to him that you do so, because if he or Adam were seen with me, people may be suspicious. They don't know you as well and we have never made contact around others. So, is 4 O'Clock good for you? At the place discussed the other day?

Ash: I'll be there.

Lieutenant Scott Smith: Great, I'll see you soon!

The two hang up, and the scene fades.. to.. black.