"Ah, I see you have found me at an odd moment. Its not like I want you all to see this soft side of me, but hey, its nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure a lot of people are doing this right about now, seeing as how Easter is upon us. I like doing this. Joe suggested it to me, actually, last night. He saw how stressed out I was, and asked me what was something I could do to get the stress off my mind. Well, ta-da, he reminded me that today is Easter, and it hit me- color eggs."
PKA places the egg down onto an egg carton that has paint all over it, with a few eggs already done inside it. He takes another blank egg out and begins to paint. He dips the brush into the water and finds a new color.
"This is very easy to do. Its not hard. It doesn't take a lot of thinking. Its just something that seems to be keeping me calm, and well, Shane Ryder, you seem to be doing the same thing. I've noticed that you have yet to show your face, this week. I noticed that you have yet to comment on our match that is coming in just a couple of days. Why is that? You would think that somebody like you, who has had a few successful victories with matches I was in, who brought the Trivia Title to NWO at Ring Wars, and who has really become a skilled talent of NWO, would want to run their mouth off. It is shocking to me, actually, that you haven't said a word. After all, I've been out of action, out of the ring, for almost a month. You should have some advantage over me, right? You kicked some ass last week, and just because you lost, you still kicked some ass. You should feel confident that you can do the same to me, right?"
PKA finishes up the egg, and places it in the 'finished' carton. He gets another one, and continues painting designs on it.
"I'm not sure what you are thinking right about now. All I know, is what I'm thinking. I sure as hell hope you decide to show up, at least for our match. I don't give a damn whether or not you cut a promo. Its not like the world revolves on whether or not people cut promos.. it only matters how they do in the ring. And, if you've been taking notes, you know damn good and well that I can do pretty good in the squared circle. I had The Mainstreamer beaten at Gladiator. I whooped his ass all over the place and he knows that if it hadn't been for Wafer naming that stipulation without telling me ahead of time, that he would've lost the championship. Too bad, huh? Because if I won the NWO Title, we wouldn't be wrestling on Malice. How unfortunate, right? But then again, you not having to fight me may be something you wanted, but too bad, its going to happen on Malice."
PKA puts the egg into the carton, making that the 11th egg. PKA looks down at the empty spot.
"One left."
PKA picks up the last egg and begins to color.
"Just like I'm painting the final egg, I'm painting your future. See, Shane, I've got your future on this very egg. Your future lies in all of these eggs, if you will. While I paint along each egg with different colors, designs, shapes, etcetera, its like I'm determining which egg will look the best, be the most colorful, and all that good stuff.. Where am I going with all this rambling? Well, basically, I'm saying I have control over whether you go for the International Championship or not. I determine whether or not you rise up in the ranks or go back down in them. And to tell you the truth, I don't feel like letting you rise. I'm a nice guy and all, but when it comes to the International Title, that's mine. And when you stand there, looking at me from across the ring, I will see you as a threat to my title that I will soon have around my waist. I'll take you, like one of these eggs in my hand, and draw on you.. I'll draw a big ass "L", for Loser. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you are ashamed. I know how it must feel being the guy who is going to drop in the ranks and be known as an imperfect fool who lost to PKA.. but hey, that's what happens when you face "Grade A" PKA."
PKA looks at the egg and puts it in the final hole. He picks up the carton.
"You see these eggs? Just like me, they are "Grade A".. and all along I've been comparing you to them, right? What's wrong with me? You are far from being perfection as these eggs are and I am. Shame it is."
PKA then tosses the carton of colored eggs down onto the floor, and begins to stomp on them. He makes sure each egg is crushed and the yolk is all over. He lifts up the carton, crushed and wrinkled. The yolk drips.
"These eggs just got crushed, Shane. Just like your hopes of beating me at Malice, they got destroyed, for good. See you at Malice..and oh, Happy Easter."
PKA opens the trash can and tosses the egg carton in. He then takes off his apron, which is covered with yellow yolk now, and places it on the counter. He turns on the sink and washes his hands, as the scene fades to black.
The scene opens as PKA stands in his well-lit kitchen, at the counter. He wears black baggy jeans, and a regular white shirt. He also has on a black bandana. Over his shirt, though, is an apron. Its wrapped around his waist. There are different colors, red, blue, orange, like paint, on his apron. It is as if they had been splattered onto it. PKA holds something in his hand, something round, and white. In his other hand, he holds a paint brush. The object in his other hand is obviously an egg, and he goes on coloring it. He looks to his side, at the camera.