Title: Home Invasions

Series: Vicious Strays

Author: Kiara (Kiara_Rogue@hotmail.com)

Pairing: S/X

Summary: Necrophiliac monks with a necronomicon help our boys perform necromancy to save the world? Huh?

Disclaimer: I'm not nearly insane enough to be considered even remotely Josslike, so, not mine.

Distribution: Take it, I don' need it.

Feedback: um...yes please? I'm a sad lonely bum so I like it

A/N: Okay so I started this story a zillion years ago and ran out of inspiration and then the other day I was sitting on the bus wondering why the lady in front of me hadn't discovered deodorant yet and my muse attacked. I went home and sat typing from 6 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. when migraine induced blindness forced me to take an unpleasant break. And now I have it. Its unbetaed so all mistakes are mine, but here it is.

This takes place in a Buffy quasi mid-season four kind of place. Anya never came back after prom and so the Scoobies are all in a flirty kind of place. Buffy with Riley, Willow with Tara, and Xander with...um. guess! *snort* And yes. my version of Buffy is insane. Why do you ask?

%%- indicates thoughts

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"Spike. You're here. Why is that?" Xander asked the vampire who was sprawled across his bed watching television. It was all of two in the morning and he'd gotten up from his excessively empty bed to go to the bathroom. When he returned from the bathroom he found a bleached dead guy had invaded.

"I missed you're charming face." Spike answered dryly, not moving his eyes from the television screen. A glance told the exhausted man that he was watching Cowboy Bebop on Cartoon Network. Xander rubbed his face with one hand and scratched his belly with the other. %I'm so coordinated.% He thought absently. "Nice shorts." Spike added, still without looking at him. Xander blinked at him, wondering how he knew what he was wearing. Then he looked down to remind himself of what he was wearing. A thousand scantily-clad Switchblades grinned sexily back up at him. %Thank you, Home shopping network.%

"And where in those two sentences was the reason for your presence?" He asked, trying to wake up a few more brain cells so he could deal with the dead guy in his bed. He didn't have the energy to get pissed yet, but he could manage snippy. Another look at the vampire revealed a split lip and a black eye and a bit more sense to the vampire's visit. "You get your ass kicked so now you're hiding." A two-fingered salute and still no eye contact was enough of an affirmation. Xander sighed. %He's hundred and something years old and he still acts like a ten-year old...% He was too damn tired for an argument just then so he stumbled over to the bed and crawled under his covers. "Just take off your damn boots." He ordered and shoved said boots off his pillow. Spike ignored him, but didn't put the boots back on the pillow. Xander flipped the pillow over to the cleaner side and settled his head on it.

He stretched out his legs and scowled when his style was cramped by the vampire. The guy was compact and all, but Xander found that he was much like the big evil tomcat that came around every so often. Spike had the uncanny feline ability to increase his body-mass and personal gravity at will and like most cats, he seemed to use that talent to irritate people. Xander gave him a tired kick and turned to face the wall, intending to go back to sleep.

Half an hour later he was in a semi-doze, half-listening to the mindless drone of the television and the incongruous sound of Spike breathing. Curious, he lifted his head and looked over his shoulder to see the vampire in the dim flickering light of the television. He was curled on his side on top of the blankets, duster off and converted into a pillow, sound asleep. His black eye was already fading and the split lip wasn't distinguishable in the bad lighting.

Xander scowled. %The least he could do its turn off the friggin' t.v. Dad's always bitching about the electric bill and now I'm going to get nagged again and its too loud too. Crap. I hafta turn it off but the bed's warm and I'm tiiiiired and Spike sucks!% He spitefully pondered kicking the defenseless vamp off the bed, but his annoying sense of fair play got in the way. No fair attacking the unconscious. He'd kick him when he was awake.

He finally hauled himself out of bed and staggered across the basement to flip the t.v. off, mourning the disappearance of the remote once again. He was on his way back to bed when the phone rang. He scrambled to answer it before it woke his parents and picked it up in time to see Spike's head pop up, startled, hair mushed all funky. He snickered at the bewildered vamp and turned his attention to the phone.

"Hello?" He answered, giving an internal prayer that it was a wrong number and not news of the impending doom sort. God ignored him.

"Xander, we've got a problem." Buffy's stressed voice informed him. %Oh yay.%

"What's up?" He asked, glancing at Spike, who was already sleeping again, after having pilfered Xander's pillow, that is.

"Me and Giles were just attacked, we're okay but Giles' place is trashed and we need to get out of here but Giles lost his keys. Can you come pick us up?" Xander was already shoving his feet in his stuffed lobster slippers and trying to remember where he'd put his keys.

"Sure, I'll be there in a minute. Will there be anymore fighting tonight? I've got the Chipped Wonder for backup if you need him." Spike flipped him the bird again without indicating that he was awake.

"I dunno, bring him. And then later you can tell me exactly why you have Spike handy in the middle of the night and then I can threaten him for you." Xander grinned at her tired attempt at a joke.

"We'll be there in a minute." He reassured her and hung up. "Wakey wakey, vampire. We've got a damsel in distress to chauffeur." He rethought the lobster slippers, figuring they would be a bad thing if there was another fight and pulled on some jeans and his sneakers then the yellow t-shirt he'd wore the day before. He didn't want to abandon the just hauled out of bed look completely though, in case he could use it to guilt Buffy later if she gave him lip, so he pulled on his ratty blue robe instead of his jacket and didn't even bother with his severe bed-head.

Spike was up and dustered and still looking half-asleep when Xander turned to head for the door. The vampire followed and even locked the door behind him so Xander didn't have to. Apparently he was less vicious when sleepy. Xander pondered the possibility of keeping the vampire drugged on Valium to promote friendliness as he backed the car out and headed towards Giles' place.