Title: Done and Done

Series: Vicious Strays

Author: Kiara (Kiara_Rogue@hotmail.com)

Pairing: S/X

Rating:This part has grindage and smoochies! Alert! Grindage and smoochies ho! NC-17!

Summary: Necrophiliac monks with a necronomicon help our boys perform necromancy to save the world? Huh?

Disclaimer: I'm not nearly insane enough to be considered even remotely Josslike, so, not mine.

Distribution: Take it, I don' need it.

Feedback: um...yes please? I'm a sad lonely bum so I like it

A/N: Okay so I started this story a zillion years ago and ran out of inspiration and then the other day I was sitting on the bus wondering why the lady in front of me hadn't discovered deodorant yet and my muse attacked. I went home and sat typing from 6 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. when migraine induced blindness forced me to take an unpleasant break. And now I have it. Brynhild was beautiful enough to beta for me.

This takes place in a Buffy quasi mid-season four kind of place. Anya never came back after prom and so the Scoobies are all in a flirty kind of place. Buffy with Riley, Willow with Tara, and Xander with...um. guess! *snort* And yes. my version of Buffy is insane. Why do you ask?

%%- indicates thoughts

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The figure of a glowing young man solidified in the circle, before scattering again with a scream as Buffy's axe took off his head. The house fell silent from the howling wind that had filled it a second before. Buffy turned to where Willow and Giles were taking cover behind the couch. "Done and done!" She grinned and then raced for the stairs before they could react.

Buffy carefully pushed the door to her room open and peeked inside. She was hoping to see something good and she wasn't disappointed. In an unconscious pile were Spike and Xander, happily wrapped around each other in a most provocative manner. Buffy could smell the proof that there'd been a little more than kissing going on in her bed. She backed out of the room and shut the door. She then indulged in a marathon bout of high-pitched squeaked that devolves into giddy giggling. "I knew they had the lusties for each other!" She told Willow triumphantly when she made it back downstairs. Willow looked confused.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" She asked.

"Good thing! Now they'll be kinky sex friends and they'll always be in a good mood! I bet Spike is less annoying when he's getting boffed regularly." She giggled. "And if he does anything mean to Xander I'll just stake him. As I said, there is no bad here."

"Just because they...um...did this spell doesn't mean they're going to get together." Willow pointed out as she gathered candles. Giles had made himself absent at the first sign of where the conversation was going. Buffy dug through the closet looking for the dust buster.

"C'mon, Willow! There was definite vibage there. They've been vibing at each other all week! Did you know that Spike already sleeps in Xander's bed?" She told her friend. She found the dust buster and knelt next to the sand. "It's a forgone conclusion, Wills." She said and ended the debate by turning on the vacuum.

Upstairs the conclusion was neither for, nor gone. Spike woke first, his vampire physiology recovering from the energy drain before the human's. He sat up from where he was slumped over Xander's chest and blinked sleepily at the sleeping boy. Xander looked uncomfortable scrunched into the headboard. Spike took pity on him and tugged him bodily down the bed until he was laying flat, then promptly lay back down on the warm human body. Xander mumbled something in his sleep and his arms came up around the smaller vampire's back.

Spike buried his face in the boy's neck and darted a few licks over his jugular, sighing wistfully. The boy tasted good, all that salty sweat and wholesome goodness. Spike was hungry too, and uncomfortable in his drying cum-stained pants. He couldn't imagine Harris felt any better. He licked at Xander's chin and watched as the human struggled to leave sleep behind.

Brown eyes flickered open and looked into the vampire's blue ones. "Did it work?" He asked with a yawn. Spike shrugged and made no move to climb off his human mattress.

"Don't hear any screamin'. Don't smell any blood. Must've worked." Spike answered. "We could do it again just to make certain?" He suggested with a crafty smile. Xander blinked at him.

"You are a weird, weird vampire." He reported. Spike took on an offended look.

"What's weird 'bout a vampire who enjoys a good shag?"

"That wasn't a shag, Spike. That was...um..." Xander scowled.

"That was two blokes humping to a screaming orgasm." Spike supplied cheerfully. "It was fun. Let's do it again." He wriggled against Xander provocatively. Xander shook himself convulsively and shoved him off, pretending like that hadn't felt good.

"I hafta make sure everyone is okay." He muttered and stumbled out of the room. His head was spinning. %What the hell was that? Spike was coming on to me! I'm a good shag!% He hyperventilated a little as he made his way down the stairs. "Buffy? Is everyone alive? Did it work? Can I murder you now?" He called out. Buffy and Willow appeared from the kitchen and showered him with eager smiles.

"It worked! Bad ghost went bye bye. How was it? Enthusiastic and sweaty? You going to do it again?" Buffy chirped at him. He blinked.

"You and Spike are in cahoots, aren't you?" He asked suspiciously. "This is all a twisted plot to get a vampire in my pants so I'll apologize for being mean about Angel, isn't it?" Buffy looked at him like he was the crazy one. "I'm on to you and your evil plot! And I'll have you know that you failed! Spike didn't get in my pants because my pants never came off! HA!" He babbled, a crazy look in his eye.

"We can tell." Willow said slyly, darting a look at the front of his pants. He looked down and saw the big stain on the front and groaned.

"Kill me." He begged while the girls cracked up. He sighed and left to go home without another word. When Spike came down the stairs wearing his duster suspiciously closed and looking like the cat who got the canary, the girls just giggled harder.

"Ran home, now, did he?" He asked casually. Buffy snickered and Willow managed to hold up a hand to stall him.

"Maybe you should wait until after his panic attack before you go after him again." She suggested. He raised his eyebrow at her. "That and it's all sunshiney outside and you'll get all flamey." She pointed out. He frowned.

"Don't worry, Spike, maybe if you wait he'll come to you?" Buffy encouraged him. He flopped on the couch and gave her a weird look. She just smiled.