Here's My Soujiro Fic... I LOVE that guy!!! ah *.* I did not create him... Please don't sue me! On with the fic! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never himself hath said, This is my own, My native land!" (Scott) ********************************************************************* A True Smile (1/2) **Courtney-chan ********************************************************************* "Arigatou Gozaimasu." I stood up knowing what I had to do...The task performed with bitter perfection. That twisting mastery, void of emotion... I... smiled. The painful, bitter curve I've come to know all to well. Never knowing where to go. Wherever would be fine. I am here. Another place I cannot call home. "Home" Watching countless suns rise and fall, unable to embrace the earth and the skies. Alone on a journey marked by cruel fate. 'youth' 'naiveté' 'hapiness' Things I found out were missing... Things I should have aquired... Things that just happened to pass me by... I asked a stranger along the way "Mr..." "Do you know where I can find hapiness?" He laughed heartily oblivious to the gravity of my inquiry... He just left me there... so I smiled. Shielding myself from the perils of existence... Funny how the wind never blows the same... ***** I almost felt like dying sometimes... Death. A word so sweet to ears tired... Lost hope, reflected in apologetic eyes. I never wanted empty pity. And only he understood that. As I look back we were so similar... But he had bandages, and I had my smile. I never wanted to hear that... it was frightening to know that, But it was truth. Himura said so. Shishiho was weak so he lost. I honestly considered death. But the light was so tempting. The thirsting for truth, a meaning to the raw cry of what said to be my life... The life of Seta Soujiro... Funny how I could never bring myself to take it. I don't understand. Intoxicated by hunger, It seemed as if hunger itself directed my body to this restaurant... The Aoiya. It had been days since I had eaten. Why I do not know, But I was grateful for this chance. I sat down in an empty booth. I leaned back to close my eyes. When I opened them, I found myself staring into deep pools of blue. But it wasn't the chronic melancholy blue of sadness, but a blue deeper than any sorrow i've known. I stared into the dancing pools until her voice snapped me back into reality... "Hello? May I take your order???" To Be Continued --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never himself hath said, This is my own, My native land!" (Scott) ********************************************************************* A True Smile (2/2) **Courtney-chan ********************************************************************* Order? I don't even remeber what I asked for. Numbed by the subtle imprint of her placid gaze. And her eyes, so warm, and full. I don't even remember what I asked for. I could vaugely see her turning to leave... She was so far away... Leaving just when I wanted her to stay. And of all the things I've been robbed of, nothing was as bitter as this cruel blow. **** I sat with myself as my sand-crafted world shifted into nothing. Still soul jolted by a catalyst more poignant than any pain I've known... It felt like... It felt like... sugary mists of mellow frosts collecting on my crumbling insides. What was this emotion? I tried to make some sense of the situation. Tried to tell myself it was hunger, but as I watched her fluid motions from across the room... She drew nearer until she returned to me once more. graceful strands of silk brushed my arm. Pulling away instinctvely from the human touch, I wrenched my arm away from her. "Sorry!" She said hastily brushing her long braid aside. It swung gracefully, obediently even, behind her. "Can you come with me for a second?" I jerked my head up and down, I wondered why was it I couldn't curve my lips into a smile. Words would not even flow from my parched mouth. With shaking knees I followed her. Child-like trust and hope... some emotion causing my eyes to flicker. We entered what seemed to be the kitchen... "What are You doing here?" stabbed a harsh voice. I almost wept. The suddeness of the betrayal caused all my defenses to crumble... The voice was not hers... It resembled that of an acquaintance of old... Everywhere I went, Forever plauged by my past. Blood marred by association with the bandaged man. "Seta Soujiro." Droned the deep voice. Own name seeming so foriegn. Taking a moment to register itself. To retrace a dust-blanched neuro-pathway... "Soujiro". "Shinamori... Shinamori-san is it?" My voice crackled with a coarse tinge... As if I spoke for the first time... "What are you doing here?... After all these years?" "I-I just want something to eat..." "Good." ****** I don't know if it was the food, or the newly developed taste I had for sake... But I sat in that restaurant until nightfall. Fate my eternal enemy, tempted the late spring rains. I watched streaks of wetness course through the transparent screen... I had lost so much... Felt so much more than I ever wanted to. But then she came by again... "The weather's Aweful isn't it" She sat down besides me, as if to mock me. "S-sou." "Would you like to spend the night?" I turned my head swiftly. Now in point-blank range of shooting stars peircing my heart. A network of faintly flowing pleasurable feelings worked their way to my brain. An electric magnetism tingled my lips... Lips now twitching helplessy, As they slid slowly but surely into a... a smile... A soulful smile. I smiled with all my soul. I smiled until my lips felt like they were about to burst and bleed. I smiled so hard, My eyes folded into the warm curves of my skin... All the pain whisked away, melted and meshed into the forever of her blue gaze... The blue gaze silently pulling me out of the empty stalactite grotto of lonliness. "h-hai..." Since when did I stutter? ~OWARI~ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------