"Hi baby." She could barely hear him over the thousands of screaming girls in the back ground.
"Oh hi," she said, not sounding really excited to hear his voice like the way she used to be.
"Hang on a sec, ok? I'm gonna get on the bus so I can hear."
"Ok, I can hear you now."
"So, where are you at tonight?" she asked dully. Her voice held no real emotion. The sincerity and interest that used to be there was gone now. He realized all this. It's not like he was totally oblivious to what was happening. He didn't like it, not one bit, but it was happening none the less.
"We're in Cleveland, just finished the show. We're heading up to Detroit tonight. We're dong a couple shows there and then we're off to do all the East Coast shows."
"That's cool." He pressed his eyes tightly closed as her lack of enthusiasm filled his ears. She was slipping away. They were drifting apart. They used to be so connected, so together. But now……..now those long silences were no longer as comfortable as they used to be. Those eyes that used to shake his soul were now darker, more distance. That smile that could brighten a room and lift his heart was rarely seen now. And on the rare occasions it was, it was weak. As the phone line fell silent, he thought about what was going on in their relationship. As he was about to speak, he heard a male voice in the back ground on the other end of the line. He could fell his heart begin to rip in two. He decided not to ask her about the man in the background, he already knew the whole story without her telling him.
"Listen…." He began slowly. "I've been thinking, a lot actually and, He himself couldn't believe the words he was about to about to say to the woman he loved. The one he cherished and thought would always love him as much as he loved her. He swallowed hard against the lump forming in his throat.
"Baby, you still here?" she asked after noticing his mid-sentence silence. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm here."
"What were going to tell me?"
"I--uh--I" Suddenly, without realizing it, he hit the 'END' button on his phone. He couldn't bring himself to say it, to lie to her. To tell her that he didn't love her anymore. To tell her that they were through and that he had moved on to someone else. He couldn't. He stared at the phone as it rang in his shaking sweaty hands. 'You can do this,' he told himself, although he really didn't believe it. 'It's for the best.'
"Hello?" he barely was able to say.
"Why did you hang up on me?"
"I didn't. Just lost the connection."
"Oh, ok. Now what were you going to say?"
"What I was gong to say was," he took a deep breath. "This isn't working. You know it and I know it. There's no use in dragging this out any longer."
"What are you saying?' she asked, kind of surprised.
"What I'm saying is," he closed his eyes and pressed his lips tightly together. "I don't love you anymore." Tears flowed from his eyes. He made no attempt to stop them, know that he couldn't.
"Oh," she said quietly. "We can still talk right? You know, the whole 'let's be friends' thing?"
"Of course," he answered solemnly. "Always." There was a calm, quiet silence on the line. Neither of them were sure what to say. "The other guys are coming so I'm gonna go now. "
"Ok," she said. "Don't be a stranger."
"I won't. I lo---" he caught himself before saying it. "I'll talk to you later. Bye."
"Bye."
He turned off his phone and sobbed. He had let the one woman that he'd ever really loved go. After a few minutes of continuous sobbing, he got up and went to his bunk. He got his notebook and a pen and began to write.
**Girl no matter where I go, I call you after every show. In your voice I hear a funny time. Someone's holding you.**
He wiped away the tears from his reddened cheeks and continued writing.
**Now you see me on TV. I thought you'd be proud of me. Somehow things have changed. I wasn't over you. I was away from you. And now you've left me. When skies are gray. I wasn't over you. I was away from you. And now, you've thrown it all away.**
He wrote what was in his heart. I came pouring out on the paper.
**City to city, you're on my mind. Tell me baby. Who's got my time. All I do, I do for you. Now look what you've put me through. My heart is hurting for you.**
He heard the other guys step on the bus. He pulled the curtain of his bunk closed. Not wanting to deal with anyone right now.
**Baby, all I wanna do is be the one that's there for you. And hold you, when it seems that times are bad. Girl this love is just too good for me to let it go**
As he finished writing, he closed his notebook and tucked it under his pillow. He rolled over and laid on his back. Mistake. He had forgotten about all the pictures he had of the two of them together that he had taped in his bunk. With an unsteady hand, he reached up and took them down. One by one. Memory by memory. Tear by tear.
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