The Blackbird's Cry

There was a woman, and she was wise; woefully wise was she;
She was old, so old, yet her years all told were but a score and
three
And she knew by heart, from finish to start, the Book of In-
iquity

--Robert Service

oceania_blue@hotmail.com

One of the most important ways of helping a victim of sexual violence is helping them talk to you or somebody about the abuse. However, because of the shame and guilt associated with being sexually violated, victims are often unwilling to discuss what happened to them with others. It is important to recognize the warning signs that someone you care about has been sexually attacked. If you know someone who exhibits two or more of these symptoms, be aware that they probably have been or are being sexually abused. I have included warning signs regarding children because they are a likely target of violation and, as authority figures, it is our responsibility to protect them.

Warning Signs in Children

Excessive masturbation - this is a symptom of an interest in one's own sexuality, however, it may also be subconsciously motivated to call the attention of others to the abuse. Also, it can be an attempt to relieve the discomfort of a sexually transmitted disease.
Overt sexual acting-out toward adults - often the perpetrators will tell children that sexual relations between adults and kids is normal, acceptable behavior and a way of showing love. In cases of incest, children will often associate sexual acts as a form of nurturance and believe they must provide gratification to adults in order to receive love.
Simulation of sophisticated sexual activity with younger children - though they may not acknowledge that their sexual behavior with other children is done in an effort to communicate their own victimization to others, it is believed that it is motivated by this reason.
Fear of being alone with an adult, male or female - molested children have usually been told that they are irresistible, and learn to believe that all adults will be unable to control the impulse to molest them.
Bruises and/or hickeys on the face, neck, groin, buttocks, and/or inner thighs - it is not unusual for child victims of sexual violence to have such markings on their bodies, administered during instances of molestation.
Fear of bathrooms and showers - these are places where children are most often molested. By pretending to help a child with his or her bath, an adult can use such opportunities to molest a child.
Knowledge of sexual matters and details of adult sexual activity inappropriate to age or developmental level - there is only one way children learn the details of adult sexual activity, and that is by having experienced it.
Combining violence and sexuality in artwork, written schoolwork, language, or play - children experience being molested as violence even when they are not physically injured. They therefore may express a great deal of anger and pain in describing it whether with words or in art form.
Extreme fear or repulsion when touched by an adult of any gender - children who are victims do not associate a loving touch with pleasure or safety, since they have known it as a form of foreplay in the past.

Warning Signs in Adults/Teen-Agers

Refusal to undress in front of others - victims of assault may believe that people can tell just by looking at their bodies that they have been sexually violated, so they are unwilling to be seen naked by others.
Development of obsessive-compulsive behavior - after an attack, a person may focus in on something to either help make themselves feel clean or safe. Constant locking of doors and rechecking them, obsessive washing of hands, etc. are common symptoms.
Self-mutilation - victims of sexual violence often feel angry at their powerlessness to defend themselves from being assaulted. This can be expressed in self-abusive behaviors such as putting cigarette burns on their arms, cutting themselves with knives, or striking themselves.
Violence against younger children - sex abuse victims cannot safely express the anger and frustration they feel toward their violator and will sometimes displace these feelings onto safer objects, such as children.
Changes in appetite - appetite loss or over-eating may result when a person has been violated sexually because they are emotionally dealing with a traumatizing experience. Food is a key part of life, and as that person's experience with life changes, their relationship with food may be drastically altered.
Social withdrawal - being abused often makes people feel separated and different from their peers and relatives. This can cause them to find it difficult to relate to or discuss what they are feeling with the people they are normally close to.
Drug/Alcohol abuse - putting oneself in an altered state can make it easier to avoid dealing with the unfair trauma sex abuse causes. By turning to drugs and alcohol, people may be able to forget - at least temporarily - what they have been put through.
Problems with authority figures - rape and sex abuse is a type of violence specifically about control. Those who have had it happen to them have had the control normally given to people in life stolen away, and may misinterpret people with authority over them as people trying to control them as their attacker did in the past.
Unexplained mood swings - a survivor may be doing or saying something and be reminded by something previously considered unimportant that triggers an emotional reaction as they are unexpectedly reminded of what happened to them. They may suddenly become angry, frightened, or irrational without apparent cause.
Loss of self-confidence - experiencing someone taking their body from them can make people believe that they are worthless and incapable of defending themselves. Being sexually violated means you lost power over your body, and that can have a lasting affect on one's self-image.
Source: Treating Sexually Abused Children and their Families