DINNER WITH MOM
John's mother is always on his back: "Why don't you ever call me?" she complains. "Why don't you ever invite me over for dinner?"
Finally, the nagging and the guilt get to him, so he invites her over for a turkey dinner at his new apartment. During the meal, his roommate comes home earlier than anticipated. John's mom is amazed: She knew her son was living with someone ... but she had always assumed "Pat" was a man, not a gorgeous redhead.
John sees the look on his mother's face. So after dinner, he pulls her aside and says: "I know what you're thinking, Ma. And no, we're not dating. Pat and I are just roommates." John's mom accepts this, helps wash the dishes, then leaves.
About a week later, Pat complains to John that she can't find their gravy ladle. "You don't suppose your mother took it, do you?" she asks.
"No," John says. "But she might have misplaced it when she was putting the dishes away."
He calls home. On the third ring, his mother answers. "Hi, Ma," he says. "Do you know where my gravy ladle is?" "Why?" she asks. "Do you think I stole it?" "No no no," he says. "I'm not saying you did take my gravy ladle, and I'm not saying you did not take my gravy ladle. But
my ladle has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
"Well, son," she says. "I'm not saying you do sleep with Pat, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Pat. But if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
