WHO DO I LOOK LIKE
Jerry is watching the end of an intense baseball game when his wife taps him on the shoulder and asks, "Honey, could you fix the front steps? They're ready to collapse."
He sighs and says, "After the game, Flo."
Flo grinds her teeth. She nearly broke her neck climbing those stupid stairs and all he cares about is his stupid baseball game.
"Well, could you fix the light in the hall? It's been flickering for weeks."
He sighs and says, "Darn it, Flo, I'm a sports fan, not an electrician. Call Joe Burkes to fix it."
Flo counters: "Can you fix the fridge door, then? It won't shut."
Jerry turns to talk to her and misses the game-winning homer. He turns back to the screen and sees people celebrating and carrying on. He wants to swear. Instead he says, "You want me to fix the fridge? Who do I look like, the Maytag Repairman?"
She opens her mouth and he hushes her silent. "I need to cool down," he says. "I'm going out."
Jerry goes to his favorite watering hole and drinks for about an hour. After a couple beers, he starts to feel guilty about treating Flo so poorly. He returns home and notices the front steps have been repaired. He walks into the hall and sees the hall light working perfectly. He opens the fridge to grab a beer. The fridge door has been fixed, too.
He finds his wife and says, "Honey, how'd you fix all this stuff?"
She smiles and says, "After you left, I sat outside and cried. This nice young man was passing by and asked what was wrong.
I told him. He offered to fix everything for me. All I had to do in return was make love to him or bake him a cake.
Jerry nodded, appreciatively. "What kind of cake did you bake?"
Flo's smile widened. "Who do I look like, Betty Crocker?"
