Quips and Quotes from the Classroom
Every teacher has stories to tell about the classroom. A few years ago, I started to collect those "memorable" comments - sort of a "Kids say the darndest things" kind of thing. Each of these are true - really. Now here's the disclaimer - (1) I don't want to embarrass anyone so I won't give any names. (2) All of my students are very bright and curious. (3) This is meant to be fun and should not be interpreted as a reflection of anyone's intellect. Enough said.
* Who did Shamu kill?
* Are John Doe and Jane Doe related?
* I'm ten years older than my oldest brother.
* I get so bored thinking of nothing.
* Are paper plates dishwasher safe?
*I can't think before I speak. I wouldn't have anything to say.
* I know. I'm a convulsive liar.
* Statement: I don't eat red meat. Reply: Then why don't you cook it longer?
*One time a horse pooped on my shoe...I didn't have any friends that day.
*Watching golf is like waiting for your turn at Monopoly but you never get to play.
* A silver penny is called a dime.
*If I were a stranger, would you still know me?
* Partying is such sweet sorrow - a misunderstanding of Shakespeare.
* She is so strong that she could decapitate your arm!
* It's been ten minutes for a half hour now.
* Nothing has happened in my life that I know of.
* What's the abbreviation for DC?
* Are there dogs in China that you don't eat?
* You struck out at first base.
* I live right next door to my neighbors!
* I'm a vegetarian but I don't like vegetables.
* She called me a dumb blond. I'm not blond!
* You talk a million years a minute!
* I'd like to be immortal for about fifteen years.
* I have to go to the bathroom but I'm not in the mood.
* Isn't Ann Landers on "Murder She Wrote" or something?
* I couldn't be Amish because I don't like the colors they wear.
* I don't know what I learned, but I know I learned it.
* Can your eyes get chapped?
* I know what I'm doing. I just have no clue what's going on
* Did you ever snort a noodle up your nose?
* Is the Jolly Green giant real?
*I once called a psychic hotline. They said it was free but it cost me $80 - but I got the crystal necklace!
* My anorexic fish finally ate!
* I'm related to my grandma.
* I had ten hours of sleep last night - seven to seven!
* How do you swim in a gravel pit? (Don't the rocks hurt?)
* You're not allowed to shoot paratroopers in war - it's a rule.
* Are there such things as pink lemons?
* I'm learning Avocado's Number in science!
* Orville and Wilbur Wright? Aren't they the popcorn people?
* I want to learn sign language so I can speak with the blind!
* It was the bald guy with black hair.
* I have three dogs - two of them are rototillers and one's a dog! (I think she meant Rottweiler.)
*It's fast food; it's not real meat.
*If I studied anymore, I'd forget it.
* It was navy green and blue.
* How many lines must a couplet be?
* I get accuses of everything I do!
* Could I take the exam another day? My brain only works on Thursday.
* You don't understand! This is my lucky gum!
* I don't know. Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
* You can't get a suntan in Wisconsin because it is not hot there!
* Why don't they have accents in England?
