The History of the Hybrid Squirrels from 1997 to Present
THE HISTORY OF THE HYBRID SQUIRRELS FROM 1997 TO PRESENT
During the early months of 1997, then-eighth graders Ben Squirrel and Robb Rodent (then called by common, non-Squirrelish names) were just two kids, livin' on a prayer and a dream. Now, however, along with Brandon Beaver, they represent all that is pure and good about music. They daily rock the ass of someone. They stand in the way of musical drivel by way of mocking bad local bands and penning witty lyrics. They drive an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. They are The Hybrid Squirrels.
The Age of Innocence: 1997
Ben Squirrel, Robb Rodent, Hank Hamster, Justin Jerbil
Ben Squirrel and Robb Rodent were amateur musicians, having both picked up the guitar while during their eighth grade year. Soon enough, one of their close friends, Hank Hamster, was lucky enough to be given a drum set for his birthday. Another friend, Justin Jerbil, purchased a bass guitar on a whim. Armed with their axes, amps, drums, other such musical paraphanelia, and a tablature book of Weezer's first epononymous album, they proceeded to rock the metaphorical ass of Hank's garage. Their rendition of "In the Garage," although unreleased to the general public, sparked interest in the Squirrels in the Londerground (London Underground) music scene. Those in the know were impressed by the sounds of a band who had only practiced once and whose drummer and bassist refused to be confined by "sound" and "rhythm." All signs pointed to an explosion of the Squirrelish Variety. Or did they?
Sadly, they did not. The combination of Squirrel, Rodent, Hamster, and Jerbil was torn apart by the entrance of Ben and Robb into high school. The time they spent with Hank and Justin was severely limited. Unfortunately for the Londerground, the Squirrels went on a hiatus that, at that time, was of an undetermined length. Music fans were forced to hold their appetites for good music at bay by listening to a no talent band of ass-clowns called Temple, who later that year manifested themselves as 14 Generations. Both names allegedly came from the Bible, God's word to Christians.
The question on everyone's mind in December 1997 was, "Where have the Hybrid Squirrels gone? They should be here, continuing to rock my ass." Their questions would be answered a mere month later.
The Prolific Era: 1998
Ben Squirrel, Robb Rodent
Christmas of 1997 brought a sense of renewal to the heretofore down and out Hybrid Squirrels. And a sense of drums. The younger brother of Robb Rodent, Matt Mouse, received an excellent set of drums for Christmas. As soon as Christmas vacations ended, Robb Rodent and Ben Squirrel, who lived a mere two fifths of a mile apart, convened in Robb's living room to write their first original composition. After hours of grueling jam sessions, lyric rewrites, and doobie-smoking breaks, the song everyone knows as "Life in a Band" was committed to tape. Its style, a hard-driving thrash-punk, was totally original. This historian feels it is safe to say that everyone who heard that song had their ass rocked something awful. After recording this song, the Squirrels had to find a way to distribute their aural gold to the masses. There was only one way: The Internet. On that fateful January day, the Totally Official Hybrid Squirrels Webpage was debuted. Over seven hits were recorded in the first 48 hours alone.
The Magnificent Age
Ben Squirrel, Robb Rodent, Brandon Beaver
After a brief stint under the moniker of The Hybrid Squirrels Orchestra, the band teamed up with Brandon Beaver, a badass dude who busted onto the London scene fresh from the fine state of Minnesota. Like the other Squirrels, the Beaver's versitility allowed him to wail on the skins, thump the mighty bass, or slam home mad riffs on the guitar. With a line-up of three extremely competant musicians, the Hybrid Squirrels had finally put together the puzzle that was the key to their live show. The concerts began at Hance's Garage, a local venue for budding superstar rock groups, where the Squirrels recorded the timeless "The Equipment Sucks and So Do We: The Hybrid Squirrels' Live EP". Highlights of the unforgettable show included a rousing cover of John Denver's "Leaving on a Jet Plane" (vocally slaughtered by Code Red Rocker Travis Reams), and a Hybrid Squirrels Roll Call. Perhaps however, the most memorable tune was "Squirrels, We Lift Your Name on High", a ballad of heavenly proportion that included the Beaver recalling the tear-jerking tale of how the Hybrid Squirrels changed his life forever. Turning that night's fully engaged audience into the start of a loyal fanbase, the Squirrels moved on to other venues, namely Club JC, an area Christian music club, where the big guy upstairs personally saw that each song sounded spectacular. The new and improved Hybrid Squirrels would go on to record "Squizzrrels in Da Hizzouse" and the international super-smash hit "Please Don't Headbutt Me in the Nuts" as the only two songs that involved all three members. The glorious dynasty ended tragically in the Fall of 2001 when Ben Squirrel was burned alive by a raging mob of disgruntled midgets and sent to a fiery grave. His body now rests in Birmingham, Alabama, but he will be interrupting Squirrels practice with annoying Led Zepplin riffs in our hearts forever.
.
The Future of Music as We Know It: The Present
Robb Rodent and Brandon Beaver
Is there anything left for the Hybrid Squirrels to conquer? Yes.
Will it take them long to do it? Not particularly.
Is the world ready for the Hybrid RevolutionŠ? Not really.
The only thing we know for sure is that the Squirrels are releasing the best music of their careers - music that is the shape of punk to come.
Contact: hybridsquirrels@punkmusic.com
