What I Learned
On My Holiday

They say travel abroad can be an educational experience.

As a matter of fact I did learn a few things on my recent trip to Italy.

When shopping with a woman bring a book to read.

If you are in Milan and the Establishment has a VERY large comfortable sectional couch,to sit on,

If you look over and see a a wetbar with goblets, ice bucket and almost a dozen types of liquors,

If instead of fashion magazines they have LARGE maybe 11X17 HARDBOUND books and if you look up from one of the Full page photos and see that model walking across the sales floor.



You are NOT in a simple Dress Shop.

That is how I learned a new phrase in Italian

Dolce Gabbana



The Sales force was VERY friendly, they smiled ALL the time.

I remember a woman I met some years ago whose Father was a

Sicilian Don,

Katie told me her Father taught her that there were only two types of people who smiled ALL the time.


The Simpleminded and those who were Truly Evil.

After looking at the remains of one of my Platinum Cards

I ruled out Simple Minded.

Another little tidbit I learned was that the Proverb,

"When in Rome do as the Romans do"

Does not apply to me eating spaghetti.

My girlfriend is a Russian National and it did not matter that I could point out an urbane cultured looking Italian business man a couple of tables over eating his spaghetti in the same manner. I thought she was going to have a stroke.

It is not correct Dan

Sigh I have been eating spaghetti for what? Almost 50 years? Maybe there is a graceful way to do it, but I never learned it, and after 50 years I probably never will.

I decided in the interest of finishing my meal in peace to stick to lasagna, ravioli, and short pastas after that.

Now the last and I must stress this, most important lesson I learned in Rome.

It is: When eating in an outdoor cafe, make certain you are completely under the awning or umbrella!

For those who do not already realize why I stress this, a picture as they say can portray a thousand words.

And no they are NOT cute! They are EVIL!

And in my opinion their vicious accuracy precludes simplemindedness!
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