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CAT QUOTES AND PROVERBS
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to
make it look like the dog did it!" - unknown
try to look them straight in the eye....yup, they're hiding something!" - Dog Fancy
and for the last three he stays." - English and American Proverb
to become a domestic animal." - Sir Compton Mackenzie
DOG QUOTES AND PROVERBS
and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
I found most these at The Dog Hause and catmandrew
Please feel free toe-mail me to add to the collection!
NEWLY DISCOVERED chapter in the book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now, I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know that I love you even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam, and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that Adam's Guardian Angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well." And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy. And the Cat didn't give a darn one way or the other."
HUMILITY
HE GATES OF HEAVEN were guarded by St. Peter. Four canine friends approached and stood waiting for permission to enter. They were asked for an account of themselves.
The poodle was first and, leaping forward proudly, he said, "I am the showman, winning many prizes for my beauty. See how fine I am? There was none better than I in my prime. I was my master's pride and joy." He demonstrated his fine show stance.
Next, the Labrador, black and glossy: "I am the Field Champion, keen for the gun, never missing a bird. I worked hard for my master."
Then the German Shepherd, keen and alert. "I guarded my masters, keeping them safe. No strange foot trod the paths without my permission. They feared not with me around."
"And you sir," said St Peter, "come forward to me. What of you?" The dog replied, "I am a Beagle—maybe not so good, I confess. I pursued the cat, fell to temptation, and stole food. I forgot to return to my masters' call, leaving them to worry, then showed my disapproval at being left alone by chewing their shoes. Oh, and there was also my bad habit of barking at the garbage collectors...."
"But what did you give them?" asked St. Peter. "What did I give them? I gave them light in their eyes and laughter in their voices."
St. Peter opened the gates and waved the Beagle through.
CAT JOKE
Email: maverdi@bluegrass.net
