She suddenly remembered Kim Ann asking her which one SHE liked. She had said she liked all of them. Why? Why hadn't she told Kim Ann straight out, flat that she liked Nick? Because she didn't want Kim Ann meddling in her business, that's why! She wanted to keep things between her and Nick, and HIS friends. Nick didn't seem to mind what the other guys thought, either. But why would he mind what Kim Ann thought? Was he attracted to her? She IS pretty and funny. Yeah, there was a little flirting mood happening when Kim had suggested the party. Boy, he was all for it. But then, he HAD to know that Kim Ann liked Howie. DUH. It's not like SHE was frontin'. Angela laughed at that thought. "Nope, no frontin' from Kim Ann." she said out loud, giggling a little. "Bitch." She giggled again. She relaxed a little bit and kicked back even more as Open Arms ended. She considered changing the station, but the DJ announced a request for the Backstreet Boys and the guitar riff to "I Want It That Way" drifted softly into the car. Instinctively, she turned the volume up, wondering who was singing. Her mind focused, trying to put the voice with one of their faces. Too late, the next one was singing. She smiled to herself and rolled her eyes. "THAT," she said to herself, "has GOT to be Nick."
Tell me why? Ain't nothin' but a heartache...
Tell me why? Ain't nothin' but a mistake....
She muttered out loud. "Yeah, jerk, tell me why," and laughed. "Dick." It felt good to call him names, but it also made her miss the way things were before Kim Ann and Sandra had gotten there. Everything was so fun, so natural....
A knock on the car window startled her and her hand went to her heart from the shock. It was Nick, of course. Angela quickly turned down the radio before rolling down the window, embarrassed that he had caught her listening to one of his songs.
"Hey, ya know," Nick said leaning into the window and smiling apologetically. "That's a really great song."
"It's okay..." she replied casually, warding off a smile that wanted to greet his in return. Damn it! If she let him off the hook that easily, he'd walk on her over and over again for the next four days. Be strong, stay strong, she thought to herself. Don't buckle.
There was an awkward silence as Nick fumbled for words. "Ummmm….a lot of people don't really know what that song means."
"And?" Angela gave him a blank stare to befuddle him even more. She was pretty satisfied with the power behind that one little sarcastic word. It wasn't what Nick had expected, and he laughed nervously as he tried to think of a different approach to soften her anger towards him.
"Nothing. I just thought you might find that interesting, ya know?" Nick pulled away from the car window and turned his back towards her, with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders tensed. "I ummmm," he said, still facing the other direction, "I didn't mean things the way they sounded..." He still refused to look at her, although he'd managed to half-turn towards her. She could tell he was cold by the way he was standing, thanks to the brisk Indiana October afternoon winding down into evening. When he sniffed, she knew his nose was starting to run just a little from the chill. Good, she thought.
Nick continued when Angela didn't reply. "I, ummmm, I......I just wanted to..YOU know, play it cool in front of everyone." He looked at her solemnly, focusing his blue eyes on hers long enough to give her butterflies in the pit of her stomach. When he turned away again, looking at the ground, Angela's mind echoed Brian's words from earlier in the day….Don't let him sucker you…
Angela drew a new fire from within and prodded at him for a better reason than the weak excuse he'd offered up. "You know, Nick, I would believe that if you'd been playing it cool all day, in front of YOUR friends. But this "coolness" you're talking about only started when MY friends arrived. What's up with that?"
Nick thought for a moment, unsure of what to say. Rather than answer her question, he leaned into the window and half-smiled at her. "It's cold our here, Angela, can I get into the car with you?"
Reluctantly, Angela opened the car door and scooted over. Not good, she thought. Much easier to battle from a distance….
Nick squeezed in between the steering wheel and the seat and immediately released the seat latch to move it back. He pulled the car door shut and turned the key over, and then proceeded to adjust the heat and play with the radio station before speaking again. "I need some heat," he said, smiling sweetly.
"It's not THAT cold, Nick," Angela replied sharply. She thought he was stalling so he didn't have to answer the question.
Nick looked at her oddly, surprised at her tone of voice. "Hey, man, I'm from California. If it ain't 70 degrees, minimum, then I'm cold."
"Oh.....I forgot." Angela felt a little bad when he pointed that out, but she still wanted an answer. "Well?"
"Well, what?" Nick asked, knowing what she meant, but hoping she would let it go.
"I just want to know....if you didn't mean things the way they sounded, then what did you mean?" she asked, and before he could respond, she added, "Cos it sounded pretty harsh, Nick, almost like you were ashamed that someone would even think you liked me." She was hoping that would bait him into saying whether or not he liked her more than just as a friend.
Nick cleared his throat and wiped his face with his hand, nervously. He laughed to himself, frustrated, and shook his head in defeat. "You know, I really don't need this right now in my life, Angela." His words were crisp and harsh, and Angela's heart broke when she heard them. "I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years." He paused to give her strong eye contact on the revelation, and then looked out the front windshield as if he were giving a press conference to people outside the car. "I moved to California to get away from her and to be with my family. I've been touring for over two months now, straight....ya know, 2 days on, 2 days off, 3 days on, 1 day off.... and people are all over me lately. I'm like the insult magnet of the group. And I thought that coming here would be cool to get away from it all..... all the pressures, ya know? And then I come here and now I'm getting even MORE pressure. I don't need it, and I don't WANT it." His tone intensified with each sentence, to the point of where it seemed he was scolding her, and it reminded her of Kenneth. Angela could feel the tears form in her eyes.
"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Nick looked at Angela when he finished his attack and a knife of regret pierced through his armor. A single tear had slipped silently down her face, and suddenly, Nick could feel his own breath shallowing in preparation for tears of his own. Do NOT talk about your personal life, you ASS, he thought to himself as he tensed up and refused to allow the emotions. When he gained control of himself, he spoke to Angela softly. "I do like you, Angela." He reached out and touched her face, gently, feeling worse when she winced slightly.
Nick wiped the tear from beneath her eye with his thumb and then took his index finger and slid it delicately down her hairline, slowly pushing her hair back behind her ear, then downward more, until he was holding her chin in his hand. He looked into her eyes intensely and was relieved as the warmth crept back into them. "All I have to give you right now is four days. I can't even think about commitments to anyone but myself and the group. If that's what you're wanting from me, then I'm sorry. I just can't, okay?" Set her straight right from the start, he thought. Then if something happens, she knows ahead of time.
Angela sat there, with her chin in his hand, unable to move. The emotions Nick had just guided her through in the last 10 minutes had left her drained. She felt almost as if she'd been drugged. Nick didn't move either, and his expression remained serious as he waited for her to say something.
Unexpectedly, Angela suddenly felt herself wanting to laugh as she thought Who the hell does he think he IS? Adonis?! She pulled back from him and tried to gather her thoughts, unsure of what to say to such a thing. Before she could stop herself, she heard herself saying, "My God, Nick, I didn't ask you to marry me."
Nick was completely floored by her answer and broke into his usual endearing smile and blushed. All at once, he felt foolish for having been so serious to her, setting her straight. And to have it be met with such a flippant statement back?!? "I know, I just....." He wiped his nose nervously as his face turned even redder. "I just wanted you to know the truth, I guess." He was laughing by the end of the sentence, unable to regain his composure.
Angela felt bad for having taken the wind out of his sails, but she also felt good that she had. He had returned to the Nick she felt safest with - the one with the boyish charm whom she could rule over in womanly dominion. "So now I know the truth. But all I REALLY wanted to know was why you dissed me in front of my friends."
"I don't know," he answered, shrugging, completely humiliated. "I freaked out, okay? I freaked out." THAT's a good answer, he thought to himself. How mature is THAT?
Angela repeated his response in her mind...I freaked out…. She couldn't believe they'd gone through all this to establish that simple fact. Wow. She smiled as she thought about it and Nick laughed again when he saw it.
"What?!" he asked, flirtingly. "You think that's funny?"
"Yeah," Angela replied, giggling. Then out of the blue, with shaking hands, she reached up and tugged at the bandanna on his head. Nick looked at her quizzically, unsure of her intentions. "Can you take that off?" she asked, softly.
Still eyeing her suspiciously, Nick removed the bandanna. His blond hair fell onto his face, messy yet beautiful, and he handed her the bandanna with questioning eyes.
Angela reached out and slid her fingers into his hair. "I just wanted to touch your hair when you kissed me for the first time." She stared into his eyes, waiting. This is it, win or lose.
Nick reached up slowly and put his hand over the one she had buried in his hair. He half-closed his eyes and turned his head to kiss her palm softly, before pulling her hand down with his. As he leaned forward to kiss her, his eyes dropped to her lips and eventually closed when he was close enough to navigate the landing.
Angela didn't budge and let Nick move forward the entire distance between them. When his lips finally brushed hers softly, she was ready for him. Win, she thought as his hand left hers and moved up to her chin, tugging gently to pull her mouth open so he could slip his tongue in. She couldn't believe how easily she gave in to his touch as she opened her mouth willingly. So much for womanly dominion.
Chapter
Twenty-Four
Chapter
Twenty-Two
Story Index
