Ok, the following quotes have ABSOLUTLY nothing to do with Kevin or any of the rest of the Backstreet Boys, but I read them and thought they were pretty flippin funny so I thought I'd take advantage of the space I have on the web and share them with everyone. I did NOT make these up--They are actual quotes!
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because if we were supposed to live
forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever."
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to
be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death
and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces
some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The
researchers also discovered other similarities between the
two, but can't remember what they are."
-- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to
comply with the law."
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering
accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of
my body."
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball
forward
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country."
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas
Mavericks
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our
papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
-- Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
-- A congressional candidate in Texas
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country
needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to
keep it for themselves."
-- John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and
butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
-- Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"The private enterprise system indicates that some
people have higher incomes than others."
--Gerry Brown
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could
go one way or another."
--George Bush, US President
"I have opinions of my own -strong opinions- but I don't
always agree with them."
--George Bush, US President
"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with
either hand."
--Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
"Please provide the date of your death."
--from an IRS letter
"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn
the tapes."
--Richard Nixon
"I was provided with additional input that was radically
different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that
version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra
testimony
"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been
quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a
short holiday to recover."
--Parish Magazine
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season.
One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
--Bill Peterson, football coach
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a
state that is by itself. It is different from the other 49
states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a
particularly unique situation."
--Dan Quayle, US VP (you are my hero, Danny!)
"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
--Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a
restaurant
"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to
distribute poverty equally."
--Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports
analyst
"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost
anything."
--Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel
"I've read about foreign policy and studied -- I know
the number of continents"
--George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Dan Quayle
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
not occur."
--Dan Quayle
"Potatoe"
--Dan Quayle
"The road of good intentions is paved with Hell."
--Spencer Ante
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
--Dan Quayle
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only
regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in
school so I could converse with those people."
--Dan Quayle
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a
mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
--Dan Quayle
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of
Chicago..."
--Dan Quayle
"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being
compatible with being a woman."
--Rear Admiral James R. Hogg
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
--Dan Quayle
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
because we received notice that you passed away. May God
bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South
Carolina
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in
which we stated that Mr.Arnold Dogbody was a defective in
the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a
detective in the police farce."
--Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British
newspaper
"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
--Batman Costume warning label
"Man who leaves hand in pocket, ends up feeling cocky"
--Coach Sean Shelton, Douglas County High School History Teacher (That one's for you April!!)
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Actual Newspaper Headlines
----------------------------------------------------------
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
