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A Sadness In This Land
It is a long winter's day. I have not been
with the oyate(people) since late fall.
Although I love the time on the mountain,
my heart grows lonely for the company
of people with similar beliefs. As I walk
a lonely path through a woods covered in
white I notice a small White Pine. I stop
to visit with her. Her long soft needles
slip through my hand.
~
My mind drifts to a meeting place
to the North. This place is covered with
many White Pines of all ages. My heart
becomes warm and the loneliness drifts
from me. The White Pine is a gentle tree
and seems to wish to hear my story.
I am happy to share it with her.
~
I remember back to a cold winters day.
The temperature was very cold -- yet
the sky was clear. The sun shone brightly
yet the warmth was not felt this day.
I start my journey on a small path past
the lodge of a friend. It sits in a small
clearing surrounded by small pines and
some hardwoods. The dry grasses stand
past my knees. The land and trees are
coated by snow. The lodge is no different.
Its steep sides still have patches of snow
clinging to it. Today the lodge is empty --
the fire pit is cold and no smoke
circles overhead.
~
I can see my friends face there and his
family. I can smell the sweet smoke and
hear his laughter. He always told me I
was too serious. He would tell me stories
only to catch me with a punch line
in the end. I still struggle with this lesson.
~
I pass on by the lodge and the path
becomes narrow and choked by bear
berry bushes. The patch is large and
thick. The bushes are shoulder high.
Today they are void of all berries and
leaves. Instead the limbs carry a soft
white load of snow. I remember passing
through when the bushes were loaded
with berries. Black bears visited this
patch for the sweet berries to prepare
for hibernation.
~
The path opens into a forest of mainly
White Pines. The canopy is thick and
the ground cover is little. The sweet smell
of pine is in the air and I can see back
to a time when the air was warmer and
the floor covered by thick mats of pine
needles. Tea berry bushes and deer fern
covered the steep banks. Deer and
turkey passed through this place.
~
The path turns to the right and slides
down the slope. Before me a flat bench
appears. It is clear and was the place
of the lodge in earlier years. From here
a narrow valley opens before me.
A very large White Pine protects
this small flat area. I sit on the edge
of the bench and look out over the valley.
A gentle wind whispers through the pines.
They speak to me of happier times
on this land.
~
Today the steep slopes drop to the valley
floor sharply. They are covered by snow
and ice. This makes the trip to the valley
floor exciting to say the least. I sit and
listen to the pines soft voice. I am
reminded of all the people of many
nations I have met on this land. Our stories
and cultures were different. Yet our beliefs
were similar. We respected each others
ways and it was good.
~
The wind picks up and another voice
is heard in the forest. It reminds me
of a friend who has passed from this land.
My friend is a gray wolf whom I have
known from the time he was a pup.
I watched his lanky years and his voice
that could not sing. His first winter
he was clothed in a magnificent coat.
A mask of great amounts of black to
contrast his lighter colors. We would play
and he treated me as a part of his family.
I considered it an honor for this four
legged to accept me.
~
Another year passed and he would put
his paws on my shoulders and look into
my eyes. I had no fear -- there was
a bond between us. This year his coat
was even more magnificent and he could
now sing wondrously. I never heard
a sweeter song than on his voice.
I will never forget my friend and the
lessons he shared with me. The forest
seems a bit lonelier today knowing my
friend no longer walks this land. He will
always live in my heart.
~
The wind blows again. This time voices
can be heard from the past. The large
drum was set up near the fire. I went for
a walk with my friend. On this same
bench the sweet sounds of family singing
the old songs were carried to us.
The drums mellow voice was so beautiful
this day. My friend and I sat there for a
long time under the pines. It seemed the
songs and drums voice passed my ears
and spoke to my heart. A great peace
covered this place then.
~
I now look into the valley. Today the trees
are void of leaves and the pines are
covered with patches of snow.
The ground cannot be seen through
the snow. The creek winds down
he valley. Large areas of ice and snow
cover its surface. Coyote and fox tracks
can be seen in the snow. The tracks
remind me of an early summer day.
I was along this creek with several
friends. One was preparing to return
for sundance. He asked if we did not
hear singing. I could not hear anything.
He said the old ones were singing and
went to search for them. When he was
gone from sight a coyote crossed the
creek in the direction my friend had gone.
~
I now sat alone. I heard a noise behind
me. There on the steep trail on the
mountain slope stood an old man in
regalia. Our eyes met but no words were
exchanged. I turned away and then went
to meet him. He was gone -- no sound --
just gone.
~
Many people came to this gathering place
and I thought it was someone I had
not met. My friend returned without finding
what he searched for. We returned
to camp but no old man was there.
No one else had seen this old man
or knew of him. It seems I did not find
what I searched for either or did I?
~
The land here is old and the great nation
that once flourished here is gone. Yet it
lives on in our hearts. We have survived.
I honor the Old Ones and the land.
Yet much sadness has come to this land
in the past few centuries. Our people
have been here very long and in happier
times. Now even for me sadder times
have come to this land.
~
I do not understand why I am taught
we are to be humble. Our people
understood that it took the hunter,
the crafter, the medicine person,
the warrior, it took all the different
people for the village to survive. No one
was better than the other -- we needed
each other to survive. I understand this
lesson well and try to live by it.
~
Yet this camp has been torn apart by
egos. This is not who we are.
So the lesson here is a sad one.
A shattered family. My heart is torn.
There is no right or wrong only a failure
to listen to the lessons of the Old Ones.
~
I pray that as the snow covers the scars
of Mother Earth. The scars on our hearts
will be healed and we will come together
again as ONE.
~
For now the tears in my heart are soothed
by winters gift of snowy beauty and the
gentle touch of the soft pine. Aho
~
Mitakuye Oyasin Onsimalaye
ShyHawk(FM)
Winter 2000
Dedicated to Kola and Tucumseh
I Am The Wolf
I am the wolf, a loner at heart.......
You are the human, and will rarely if ever see me.......
I roam the wilderness forests and
mountains of this earth that we share.......
I mate for survival, as you do.......
and I help my mate raise our pups in the warmth of our den,
nurturing and watching them grow and play,
as you do with your human young........
We run as a pack family,
and our members are as close as those in yours.......
When a member is lost, we grieve, but go on,
just as you do…....
When I am hungry, I must hunt for myself and my family,
for that is all I know.......
There are no stores to cater to my every need.......
Some of you have said that I am a killer,
a cold-blooded hunter of death.......
But when I kill, it is to feed my family,
and I only take the old, sick, and weak,
who will die regardless.......
I don’t kill to hang heads for trophies on my walls,
as you do.......
Now I am the hunted, by you.......
You are afraid of me, because you don’t understand me.......
You think I am taking from your herds of plenty,
(which you advertise to
big game hunters for their tourist dollars).......
Yes, you are afraid of me, but I can’t hurt you.......
You are the one with the power to destroy my kind.......
You set your traps to torture me,
and send your helicopters to kill me from the air.......
I cannot fight you, for that is not my way,
that is yours.......
I only want my freedom.......
to run, live, and sing to the moon.......
I will share this earth with you in peace.......
as long as you let me.......
I am the Wolf...
...Author Unknown..
Grandfather Sun
As I sit and feel the warmth of you Grandfather Sun
I remember the old ways and feel the elders speak to me in my heart of the days lost.
The warmth you send opens my heart to the lessons lost with the passing of time.
Grandfather speak to me of the past,
show me the path of the future.
Bless me with the wisdom of the North.
Bless me with the love of the West.
Bless me with the hope of the South.
Bless me with the peace of the East.
As Earth Mother moves with the warmth of your light,
let that warmth open the hearts of all men.
Bless them with the simple and pure hearts
of the warriors of old.
Bless them with the open wisdom
of the medicine contained in the heart of Earth Mother.
Bless them with the feeling of joy and pride
at how beautiful this land is.
Grandfather Sun warm the hearts
with the light of your love.
Open the minds of all with the harmony
to live the old ways.
Teach us all the path so long ago forgotten.
Let the old ways become the new ways.
Open the door and let your light of hope shine through.
Grandfather Sun, awaken the days long forgotten.
Bring the people back to the spirit of this land.
Grandfather Sun, awaken the days with your warmth.
Bring the people to the path of their past.
Let the Peace Light Love Hope and Pride shine this day
Let the people walk this path.
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