Posted May 28, 2002 -- Six months into the music year and what's happening? Nothing. The biggest story of this year is the R. Kelly sex scandal. That just goes to show you that the music is so bad, an artist making tapes of himself (allegedly) having sex has sold better than most records.

I decided that given my years of experience, I could be the savior of the music industry if I was in charge. So here's what would happen if I ruled the music world?

All the Internet file-sharing sites would be legal.

Memo to the record industry -- You can't stop technology. So make the Internet file-sharing sites legal. Forget about trying to make CDs unplayable, etc. You're just shooting yourselves in the foot. Allow fans to download full CDs from the Internet, with an alternative choice of artwork, etc. Then either give them the music via computer with extras or give them CDs with the art/info including lyrics of their choice. So that retailers aren?t put out of business, have these Web sites available from kiosks in current stores. It would certainly cut down on retail theft.

The music would sound better so that sales will stop spiraling downward.

The day that suits started running the business is the day the music died. When accountants and lawyers and business managers started influencing the music that was made, that's when the music started to suck. There was a time when artists influenced the music that was made, and that's why we have the classics we still listen to now. Yes, sometimes you have to rein artists in and no, they can't spend years in the studio. That's where a good A&R (the people at labels who sign and develop artists and their projects) person used to make a difference. Now it's all about getting the record released with a hot single and filler so we can sell the most units the first week. No wonder the music is so tired.

Artists would be fully developed before they dealt with the media or went on tour.

There's a reason why Motown had a strong artist development department that trained artists how to present themselves to the public. The reason is success. There are so many artists whose careers have been derailed by bad press. (Whitney? Prince?) Even Mary J. Blige didn't see the mainstream acceptance she enjoys now until after she cleaned up her attitude. I'm not saying artists should be bland media-friendly robots but they should have some basic ideas as to how to work the media to their advantage and not their disadvantage. And those labels that allow artists to perform without giving them a chance to develop in front of an audience (Ashanti?) are shortening those artists' careers. I don't care how great your video is, if you can't sell a live audience you're in trouble. And with all the media outlets you have to deal with now, from 20 cable music channels to the Internet, if you don't know how to act, you better find someone who can teach you.

Urban clothing lines would be history.

Like crack in the '80s, the "urban" clothing line has become saturated. Do people really want to rock Roc-A-Wear or do they just want the cool points that looking like Jay-Z can get them? Note to fans: You'll never be Jigga, and wearing Roc-A-Wear ain't helping. If you really want to help Black folks out, get a city contract to put some hip-hop edge to school uniforms. At this point, only Sean John seems to be making the transition from a marginalized hip-hop brand to a respected fashion house.

Children would no longer be exploited.

And I don't mean you, R. Kelly. (Allegedly.) I mean all the people signing teenagers to record deals to make a quick buck, just to discard them when they reach drinking age. The only kid I can think of who had a career as an adult was Stevie Wonder. And he's a musical genius. There are some exceptions to the rule. But most of the kiddie acts signed are doomed to be has-beens by the time they're 20. And let's face it, most of them aren't good for more than one hot single anyway. There are plenty of talented grown people. Sign them instead.

Sampling and remixing would be prohibited.

Just because the song was good 20 years ago doesn't mean you have to use it, too. If the song sucked in the first place, write a better one instead of remixing it into the version you should have used in the first place. Yes, sampling had its place in hip-hop. But not only has the technique been run into the ground, producers aren't even savvy enough to find some new samples (Or have they just run out of music?) And a remix of a remix of a remix is taking things a little too far. Or don't you have time with all your various careers to find the right mix for the song in the first place, Ms. Lopez?

Producers who use the same beat over and over and overproduce records for too many artists, making them all sound the same, would be suspended from recording for a year.

There are several of you out there who would truly benefit from a break.

There would be no more crew projects. If you want to record your boys, do it on your album.

D12. St. Lunatics. Need I say more?

If you're pretty and want to be a singer, you'd have to take some vocal lessons first.

Yes, I mean _______________________ (Fill in the blank with the male or female singer of your choice.) There are far too many to choose from.

If you're pretty and want to rap, you'd have to train with KRS first so he can refine your rhyme skills. And then you'd have to hire Jay-Z to write your rhymes if you know you can't do it yourself.

You too, know who you are. And KRS did write a book on rap, so he's qualified. Yes, he did.

Hip-hop artists would have to attend deprogramming classes before signing a label deal.

We all know it, so why can't anyone make it happen? How many more platinum-flashing, booty-slapping, blinged-out brothers who used to do crime can there be in the world? No one is saying you have to be conscious, though it is an alternative to the music that's being made while people are seemingly unconscious. The world is a complicated and often confusing place. Doesn't anybody who knows their way around a beat and a rhyme do anything other than ride around in a Denali with their boys, smoke weed, and look to pimp as many women as possible? Isn't there more to rhyme about in the whole wide world than that?

Music video directors would have to go (or return) to film school until they can come up with some creative ideas.

Ahh, the wonderful world of music video where a seemingly endless stream of nubile, half-dressed, willing women have nothing to do all day but dance around expensive cars to the sound of the beat. What planet is this? Does this have any relationship whatsoever to real life? I mean, music videos don't have to be documentaries, but it wasn't that long ago that video directors were at least creative. Or told a good story. What happened?

Tours would have several artists on one bill who can perform actual shows.

If I'm going to pay $35-$50 a ticket, I'd like to see more than just three artists who can only sing one song apiece. It used to be you could go see the Budweiser Superfest every summer and see everybody you liked. They would have more than one single and they would perform an actual show. On the other hand, now you can go to the big radio station summer concerts and see all the one-hit artists doing their one hit. And you can win tickets, so maybe that makes up for it.

The label, the title and any references to "neo-soul" would be eliminated from music journalism and music channels as well as the performers who do it.

Will all of the artists who make soul music please stand up? Okay, now everyone who's made boring music and tried to get in on the bandwagon can go on back to what they were already doing. Just because your hair is nappy, you've bought an incense stick or you sing a song with no cursing praising the Black woman or berating the Black man, doesn't make you soulful. Or worth listening to.

Lauryn Hill would have to get spiritual counseling from Mary J. Blige, Iyanla Vanzant and Stevie Wonder to get out of her musical and personal funk.

Lauryn, please get through whatever you were going through and come back. Come back as the confident, beautiful, talented artist you were before too much fame and drama took you down. I can't go to that dark place with you, with the jeans and the scarf and the acoustic songs. I want you to rhyme, to love again, or to love badly again so we can get more of the great music that you put out on Miseducation. You were who you thought you were, somebody just made you think you weren't. We need you, ma.

D'Angelo would put out an album this year.