JR: “Welcome everyone to EHW Hardcore Addiction!! The most extreme pay per view of the summer is finally here, and the biggest show of the year is set to begin here in the toughest city in America, Chicago, Illinois! I’m Jim Ross alongside. . .”
JG: “Alongside the host of this pay per view event. The Quintessential, hardcore addicted Studdmuffin, Joel ‘I always like to scream, when I’m filling the ladies with my cream, and they always love to moan, as I fill them with my foam!’ Gertner”
JR: “Tonight promises to be one of if not the top show of the year. A stellar card from top to bottom that features four titles on the line and seven matches full of the most hardcore action you’ll find anywhere on the planet.”
JG: “Yeah and if you would stop babbling on and on, we could start the event, and show the people the goods. That is always my strategy in the bedroom”
JR: “Well then lets do it your way and go to the ring four our first match that features a bed of glass and a bed of light bulbs.”
JG: “That isn’t my way, my way is when there are two lesbian women, a bottle of whip cream, and a box of con. . “
JR: “Like I said lets go to the ring for our first match!!”
** A bed of light bulbs is placed on the right side of the ring and a bed of glass is placed on the left side of the ring as “Dope” by Debonaire is heard and Rhino comes out to the ring to a small reaction from the crowd. Rhino gets into the ring and walks around in with an intense look on his face as his music fades and the lights go out. “Enter Sandman” by Metallica plays and The Sandman appears and makes his way to the ring through the crowd as the lights come back on. Sandman pops open a beer, chugs it down, and makes his way to ringside. Sandman gets into the ring and poses for the crowd to even more cheers. Sandman holds up the Singapore Cain but as he does Rhino attacks him from behind.**
Rhino clotheslines Sandman knocking him down and then stomps him until Sandman lets go of the Cain and rolls out of the ring on the side that the bed of light bulbs in on. Rhino gets out of the ring and continues to beat on Sandman. Rhino turns his back to Sandman and starts to pick up the bed of light bulbs but as he does Sandman gets up on his knees, reaches in the ring, grabs his Singapore Cain, and hits Rhino on the back of his head with it. Rhino drops the bed of light bulbs, and Sandman cains Rhino on his back and neck until Rhino walks away around the ring steps and falls down on all fours. Sandman, drops the Cain, picks up the steel ring steps, and drops them on Rhino’s back! Rhino yells in pain and crawls away from Sandman to the side of the ring where the bed of glass is. Sandman walks over to that side of the ring and elbow drops Rhino on his back dropping Rhino onto his belly. Sandman picks Rhino up, puts him back into the ring, and gets back into the ring himself. Sandman picks Rhino up, he goes for a vertical suplex but Rhino blocks, he then takes Sandman and gives him a sidewalk slam. Rhino drops down to his knees and drags Sandman out of the ring back on the side of the ring with the bed of light bulbs. Rhino takes Sandman and lays him on the bed of light bulbs, Rhino gets up on the ring apron, runs, and splashes Sandman on the bed of light bulbs! Sandman yells in pain and quickly rolls off the bed with shards of glass stuck all over his back. Rhino gets up and grabs Sandman’s Singapore Cain and cains Sandman on his back driving the shards deeper into Sandman’s skin. Rhino picks Sandman up, puts him back into the ring, and gets back into the ring himself with the Singapore Cain. Rhino makes a pin attempt, 1.2..NO Sandman kicks out to the chagrin of Rhino. Rhino gets up and picks Sandman up to his feet, Rhino whips Sandman off the ropes and goes for the Gore but Sandman dives over Rhino and grabs his Cain. Sandman gets up to his feet and when Rhino does and starts walking towards him Sandman cains Rhino right between the eyes, then again, then again! Sandman stands next to Rhino, puts the Cain up to Rhino’s throat, and gives him the Singapore Sweep!! Sandman shows signs of hurt with the shards of glass from the light bulbs still in his back. Sandman gets up to his feet and picks Rhino up to his feet then places him sitting on the top turnbuckle of the near left corner of the ring. Sandman walks up the ropes in front of Rhino with the Cain, he cains Rhino between his eyes again, and gives him the Heinickenrana to the outside of the ring on the Bed of Glass!!! Sandman hits the bed with his left arm and it is slightly cut but Sandman doesn’t show any sign of pain. Sandman picks Rhino up, puts him back into the ring, gets into the ring himself, and makes a cover, 1...2..3 Sandman wins!
JR: “The Sandman wins the first match in extreme fashion with that hurracanrana onto the bed of glass. Rhino will be picking glass out of his skin for weeks.”
JG: “There is glass all over the backs and arms of both men. I’d say that these two men are the first of many tonight to prove EHW, has a Hardcore Addiction.”
**The bed of light bulbs and bed of glass are carefully cleaned up and placed under the ring so the show can continue without a long delay while at the same time other memebers of ring crew bring out an explosion board with barb wire on the top of it out and place it in the middle of the ring.**
JR: “Well now we are going to have a match that will definitely end in an extreme way. It is an explosions match for the EHW Deathmatch Title.”
** “Maniac Man” hits and Cactus Jack makes his way to the ring to the cheers of the crowd. Cactus Jack gets into the ring and does his trademark “BANG! BANG!” to the crowd and to the cameras getting a positive reaction. The lights darken and “Rollin” by Limp Bizkit plays as the eHw Deathmatch Champion rides out to the ring on a motorcycle. The Undertaker drives around the ring and parks it at the end of the entryway. He gets into the ring and holds up the Deathmatch Title belt to some cheers and some boos from the fans. Undertaker gives the belt to the ref as his music fades and the match starts.**
Cactus goes for the explosion board but Undertaker slides it out of the ring with his right foot. Cactus slowly looks up at The Undertaker with a mad look on his face and Undertaker just smiles back. The two go to lock up but Cactus knees Undertaker in the stomach and gives him a side suplex. Cactus gets up and chokes Undertaker with is left foot and leans against the ropes for leverage. Cactus release after a few seconds, then gets out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. Undertaker gets out of the ring, Cactus has the chair and hand and Undertaker hits a Big Boot on the chair knocking it into Jack’s face. Cactus is knocked down on the arena floor, Undertaker takes the chair and hits Jack over his back with it while he is down. Undertaker turns Cactus over on his back and chokes him with the edge of the chair’s back just like Cactus did with his boot just moments earlier. Undertaker throws the chair aside and picks Cactus up to his feet, Undertaker grabs Cactus by his throat and lifts Cactus up for a Chokeslam. But on his way up Cactus kicks Undertaker in the nuts and drops down to his feet. Undertaker bends over to favor his groin and Cactus gives him a Pulling Piledriver on the arena floor! Cactus crawls and goes under the ring and takes out a 10 foot high steel ladder. Cactus picks up the folded ladder, and jams the top of it onto Undertaker’s chest repeatedly and then slams the ladder itself on Undertaker’s back. Cactus puts the ladder into the ring and walks over to the explosion board. Cactus grabs a long strand of barb wire and pulls off of the explosion board and. . wraps it around his arm! Cactus walks back over to Undertaker, he picks up his head and rakes his forehead with the barb wire causing blood to drip down Undertaker’s face. Cactus picks Undertaker up and puts him into the ring. Cactus walks over to the explosion board and puts that in the ring as well, then shows the fans his arm with barb wire wrapped around it. Cactus gets back into the ring, he takes Undertaker’s back and rakes it with his barb wire wrapped arm. He slices up the shirt Undertaker his wearing and the cuts up his back. Cactus then picks up the ladder and sets it up in the far left corner of the ring. He then goes to move the explosion board but Undertaker trips him up. Undertaker picks Cactus up and gives him a One Handed Chokeslam! Undertaker goes down to one knee after hitting the hold and then uses the ropes to get back up to his feet. Undertaker walks over to the explosion board and moves it towards the ladder. Undertaker picks Cactus up and brings him in front of the explosion board and sets Cactus up for The Last Ride. He picks Cactus up but when he gets him up on his shoulders Cactus punches Undertaker right on his nose and Undertaker drops Cactus behind him. Cactus lands on his feet, turns Undertaker around, and gives him a Double Arm DDT!! Cactus takes a second then lays Undertaker on the explosion board being careful not to put too much pressure on it. Cactus then walks around and starts to climb up the ladder. Cactus reaches the top of the ladder and holds up his barb wire wrapped arm. Cactus holds up the arm, jumps, and. . . .B O O M!!! Cactus elbow drops Undertaker on the explosion board with his barb wire wrapped arm and Undertaker is blown up!! Cactus catches some of the blow two but Undertaker takes pretty much the entire shot! Cactus Jack wins the Deathmatch Title!
JR: “Good God Almighty! Good God Almighty! What an elbow drop! The most extreme elbow drop in wrestling history was just executed by Cactus Jack. A barb wire wrapped elbow drop, off a ladder, through an explosion board!”
JG: “It is official, Cactus Jack is insane. He needs to have his head checked. He needs a cat scan and a shrink on the double.”
JR: “Why would he do that to himself?!!”
JG: “Why JR? Because Cactus Jack, has a hardcore addiction!”
(The ring is cleared from the previous match as the fans are in awe of the great matches they have seen already in the show.)
Jim Ross: Joel tonight has been a hell of a show but the night is far from over because we still have the world title match and the three way career match. Those are two matches everyone will be looking at closely.
Joel Gertner: Both matches are bound to be good just like when I have bound up the arms of girls to my bed posts. And speaking of those matches Raven and Saturn are going to come out here and speak on there matches if I’m not mistaken.
(After Gertner is done with his comments, the lights go black and red, “Come Out and Play” by The Offspring blasts on the PA system of the arena and Raven and Saturn appear in the entrance area as the fans rise up to their feet and face the two as they walk to the ring.)
(Raven and Saturn embrace the fans as they walk to the ring and when they do reach the ring, they enter it, Saturn takes off his vest then throws it aside, and raises his arms above his head to embrace the applause of the crowd.)
(Raven gets out of the ring, takes off his leather jacket, and hands it to a kid at ringside with a lost look on his face. Raven gets back in the ring as the lights come back on and Saturn hands him a microphone to speak.)
Raven: As I looked into that boy’s eyes standing there I realized that my crusade of the misfits must live on. I am what you people are, I fight the fight so that people like us can rise to power when it seems like the entire world is against. And most of the time, that is the case that we face. Tonight in front of all you people, I will put my body, my career, and even my life on the line for the eHw World Championship. The only belt that has eluded me my entire career here in this company. I have held the rest, and beaten the best but Jeff Jarrett is a man I have never faced but after tonight, he will be added to my list of conquered mountains. He is nothing more than a pawn of Paul Heyman and he shall try to keep me down in the dumps of this federation. I have stayed on the bottom for too long. I have held the bottom belts, and I have held the belts in the middle. Just being in the middle was a gratifying place to be after all of my time in the shadows of this federation. But now, just being in the middle will no longer due, it is time for me to take my rightful place at the top of the company that I have built up more than anyone. That may be a bold statement to some of you, but not to those that know their history. Because I have had more deep impacts than anyone in this federation’s history. I have been very important matches, whether I have won or lost them the impact remained regardless. Whether it was me being the first deathmatch champion, or being in the final match of the second of only two world title tournaments in this feds history. Whether it was forming the first stable in eHw history, or whether it is me being in the first electrified barb wire match tonight in this feds history like I was in the first flaming casket match and the first stretcher match. I am the man on the bottom that has built this fed up and built it from the ground up because on the ground of this federation is where I have been. Jeff Jarrett, you haven’t done anything of impact or of substance since you have been here. You have merely stood behind Paul Heyman and ridden him to the intercontinental and now the world title. You are just a stooge that much like the rest that I have faced shall go down with no glory, you shall just go down in the fire of pain that burns in my soul. Tonight Jeff Jarrett, you will meet your fate, and I shall reach my destiny. Quoth the Raven, nevermore
(Raven hands the micrphone to Saturn for him to speak and looks at him to listen to what Saturn says.)
Saturn: Well, tonight is the night that I fight for my career. I don’t know why I am fighting for my career but I am going to have the match of my life to hang onto it. I guess just because I haven’t been able to be in the public eye since capturing the tag team title because there have been no tag teams for me and Raven to wrestle. But that is okay because I guess this is something I should expect because like Raven has said time and time again, Paul Heyman is just trying to hold us down. But he isn’t just trying to hold us down he is trying to split us up by forcing me out of eHw. Well I won’t give him or Chris Jericho the satisfaction of running me out of here because I have more to give to this company than I have. I still have a title belt to defend and I plan on defending it. So Jericho I hope you have more of an offense than you normally bring because tonight I am going to fight with all of my heart and energy. I’m not totally crazy and talk to a mop, no that’s not me. Then again I’m not that sane either, what I am is one hell of a wrestler Jericho. I take to the air, and fly better than cruserweights. On the ground I am a better wrestler than probably anyone here. And my kicks and punches have more impact than anyone in the world. I am as strong as anyone you will find, I am n great shape, and have the stamina to go for extended periods of time in matches. I am as good on defense as on offense. Jericho you are nothing more than a guy that is good on the mic. Well this isn’t the WWF or WCW, being good on the mic counts for something but it is your actions that will make you a star here. You may have more fans than me, and may have more t shirts and bullshit like that more than me but what you don’t have is more talent than me. And tonight, I am going to run Rings around you. And as for you Piper, I didn’t know you were still in the fed let a lone in the match. But if you want some of me too, it will be my pleasure to send you out of eHw and back to your half ass movie career. I’m in the best shape of my life, and I am pumped up! I’m not going to go to the locker room. I am ready right fucking now! So Raven, you can go to the back but Jericho, Piper, get your asses out here right now and lets do this shit!
(Raven and Saturn hug and Raven gets out of the ring and walks to the locker room to the applause of all of the fans in the arena.)
JR: “Well Joel it looks like we are going to have the Losers Leave EHW match right now.”
JG: “Saturn had some strong words for both men but he better realize both of these men are going to bring the fight to him. Their careers are on the line too.”
**Saturn paces back and forth in the ring as bagpipes are heard playing and Roddy Piper comes out to the ring to a small reaction from the crowd. Piper gets into the ring and him and Saturn start going at it right away in a fistfight back and forth. The crowd is half paying attention to the ring and half paying attention to the entryway as pyros go off and Chris Jericho’s music hits. Y2J runs down to the ring to the cheers of the crowd, he slides into the ring and as Piper and Saturn are going fist to fist, Jericho runs and uses the ropes to hit a springboard dropkick knocking both men down.**
Saturn gets up to his feet first, Jericho puts a few hits on him then whips him off the ropes and gives him a back body drop launching Saturn up and crashing down. Piper gets up to his feet and Jericho gives him a double under hook powerbomb into a back breaker. Piper rolls out of the ring and favors his back. Jericho leans up against the ropes and taunts Jericho and poses for the crowd. Saturn gets up to his feet and when Jericho gets off the ropes and turns towards him Saturn superkicks Jericho right on the jaw and cheek. Jericho is hit hard and falls down to the mat clenching at his mouth. Saturn goes for a cover, 1..2.NO Jericho kicks out still clenching at his jaw. Jericho rolls out of the ring and lays face down on the floor continuing to clench at his mouth. Piper gets up on the outside of the ring and as he looks into the ring Saturn launches himself off the top rope and hits a flying body press on Piper. Both men crash down to the arena floor but Piper to takes the most punishment and Saturn gets right back up to his feet. Saturn picks Piper up and puts him into the ring. Saturn gets into the ring and picks Piper up to his feet, Saturn whips Piper into the near right corner of the ring. Saturn charges the corner and goes for a splash but Piper moves out of the way and Saturn crashes into the corner. Jericho starts to get back up to his feet on the outside bleeding from the mouth. Saturn remains on his feet but is wobbly, Piper gives Saturn a few jabs and goes for a scoop slam but Saturn spins out of it, Piper turns around and Saturn gives him the Death Valley Driver!! Saturn makes the cover on Piper, 1.2..3 Roddy Piper is eliminated from the match and from eHw. Saturn rolls Piper out of the ring and as he does Jericho gets back into the ring. Saturn turns around and Jericho charges and hits Saturn with a spinning heel kick. Jericho favors his mouth still from time to time from now through the rest of the match since it is entirely red and blood and spit poor out.
JR: “Roddy Piper’s career in eHw is over with and now Chris Jericho must fight Perry Saturn with what is obviously a broken jaw. This won’t be an easy task.”
JG: “I’m not sad to see Piper go but will be to see one of these two. They are both very athletic and contribute a lot to eHw.”
Jericho picks Saturn up and puts him in the corner. He then takes Saturn out of the corner by the head and hops up to the second ropes. Jericho takes Saturn and gives him a spinning DDT out of the corner. Jericho covers Saturn, 1..2..NO Saturn kicks out and rolls out of the ring. Saturn gets up on the outside and leans against the guardrail favoring his neck. Jericho gets up in the ring, runs off the ropes and hits a suicide dive through the top and middle ropes on Saturn! Saturn crashes into the steel guardrail head and back first. Jericho gets on his knees, crawls under the ring, and pulls out a table. Jericho opens up the table and bridges it with the ring apron and steel guardrail. Jericho picks Saturn up, lays him on the table, and gets up on the ring apron himself. Jericho starts to climb up the ropes but Saturn gets up and crawls behind Jericho. Saturn takes Jericho’s head and bangs it against the top of the ringpost then gives him a punch to the jaw. Jericho is dazed and Saturn lays him on the table. Saturn quickly climbs up to the top rope, stands up on it, jumps, and elbow drops Jericho through the table!! Both men lay in the broken table for a few seconds until Saturn uses the ring to get back up to his feet. Saturn rolls back into the ring and the ref starts to count Jericho out. 1..2..3.4..5…6…7 (Jericho gets up on his knees). . .8. . Jericho slowly gets back into the ring. Saturn picks him up and goes for the Death Valley Driver but Jericho spins out of it and gives Saturn a side slam. Jericho picks up Saturn’s legs, and puts him in the Walls of Jericho! But Jericho is injured and doesn’t lock in the hold or put full pressure on Saturn’s legs or back. Saturn is still hurting but is able to crawl to the ropes forcing Jericho to break the hold. Saturn starts to get up to his feet but Jericho is still recouping from the table bump he took. Saturn walks up to Jericho and Jericho turns around and chops Saturn across his chest, Jericho chops Saturn again. Jericho goes for anther chop but Saturn catches Jericho’s arm and gives him a single arm DDT. Saturn then takes Jericho and locks him in the Rings of Saturn!! Saturn pulls back on the hold and Jericho yells out in extreme pain. Jericho uses his legs to push back and as Saturn is pulling back on the hold Jericho pushes and winds up on top of Saturn making a pin, 1..2.NO Saturn releases the hold and kicks out. Both me get up slowly at the same time, Jericho charges Saturn, Saturn goes for a clothesline but Jericho ducks, runs off the ropes, and gives Saturn a one handed face buster from behind. Jericho still bleeding from and favoring his broken jaw gets up to his feet, he sees where Saturn is laying, runs and jumps off the ropes hitting the Lionsault!! Jericho slowly gets up to his feet still bleeding from the mouth but as he gets up to his feet Booker T runs down to the ring! Booker T slides into the ring, Jericho faces him and Booker hits Jericho in the face with the Harlem Sidekick! Booker slides out of the ring and Jericho lays apparently unconscious as does Saturn from the brutal match. The referee starts the mandatory ten count, 1….2….3...4…5...6….7.….8…....9….…10! The ref calls for the bell and the match is ruled a double count out.
JR: “What the hell? This ain’t the WWF folks we have to have a winner in this match especially.”
JG: “I agree with you for once but look neither man is moving, and I think Jericho has lost too much blood to continue. Saturn took a couple of shots to the head, he might have a concussion.”
JR: “Well what in the hell is going to happen with this match? Medics are attending to both men so the match is definetly over. This flat out sucks because we promised the fans that two people would leave eHw tonight and now they aren’t getting their monies worth. Booker T just screwed EHW and it’s fans!”
JG: “Well I guess we’ll find out on Fury. But to make up for it, I can give you people at home the Studdmuffin dance of seduction.”
**Medics help both Chris Jericho and Perry Saturn to the back to receive medical attention. Chris Jericho is later brought to the hospital.**
JR: “Next is a Submission Match for the Television Title. Taz recently defeated Triple H and Rhino in a Triple Threat Barbwire Match for that title in a match where he ended his feud with Triple H.”
JG: “Big Poppa Pump looks to become the third man in the history of EHW to win the Crown of Barbwire by winning the television title and he is the odds on favorite to win tonight since Taz has only been seen once since winning the TV Title.”
**Big Poppa Pump’s theme comes on and the Big Bad Booty Daddy walks to the ring with Midajah to nothing but boos from the crowd. Big Poppa Pump gets into the ring and poses for the crowd and then flexes several times for the cameras as all the eyes of the male fans in the crowd remain on Midajah and what she is and isn’t wearing. The lights go orange, pyros go off at the top of the entryway, and “War Machine” by Harry Slash and the Slashtones hits and Taz makes his way to the ring wearing his wrestling attire to the cheers of the crowd. Taz gets into the ring, takes the towel off of his head and holds up the Television Title belt. Taz gives the belt to the ref and stands in the near far left corner of the ring until the bell rings.**
Taz and Steiner circle the ring once each and then lock up, Steiner gets the advantage and puts Taz in a side headlock. Taz goes for to counter with belly to back Tazplex but Steiner releases the headlock as he is being lifted up. They lock up again and this time Taz gets the advantage and gives Steiner an arm drag takedown. Taz then turns it into an arm scissors submission hold. Steiner tries to get to the ropes but is unable to move but then does a back roll, and then front rolls and flips up to his feet escaping the hold. Taz is surprised that Steiner has such agility and immediately gets back up to his feet. Steiner shows off and yells at some fans at ringside but Taz wastes no time, he grabs Steiner from behind and gives him a Release Dragon Tazplex. Steiner lands on his neck and shoulders, Taz stays on the offense by flipping Steiner over on his belly, and pulling up on his neck with is hands while pushing down on it with his left knee. Steiner yells in pain but his feet are right under the ropes so he lifts up his right one and places it on the bottom rope forcing Taz to release the hold. Taz gets up to his feet but keeps his eyes on Steiner. Steiner starts to get up but Taz moves in again and Steiner rakes Taz’s eyes and gives him a Spinning Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! Taz lands hard on his back as Steiner favors his neck but walks over and picks Taz up to stay on the offensive. Steiner whips Taz off the rope and gives him a hard clothesline that knocks Taz down on the mat back first. Midajah throws a chair into the ring, Steiner catches it, places the chair on Taz’s chest, and elbow drops the chair on Taz! Steiner gets up, picks the chair, walks over to the far left corner of the ring and wedges the chair in-between the middle and top turnbuckle. Steiner walks over and picks Taz up to his feet, but when he does Taz pushes Steiner away and gives him a hard fist to the face. Steiner fires back with one of his own. Taz answers with a stiff jab to Steiner’s jaw, Steiner goes for a haymaker but Taz steps into Steiner’s body and gives him a Head and Arm Tazplex. Steiner again lands hard on his neck and shoulders. Taz picks Steiner up, he takes Steiner and whips him into the corner the chair is in. . but no Steiner reverses and Taz’s back hits hard against the chair. Taz bounces hard out of the corner and Steiner takes Taz and gives him the Steiner Screwdriver!! The crowd gasps since Taz lands directly on his neck and nothing else. Steiner hesitates for a few seconds and favors his neck but then rolls Taz over on his belly, stands up, and locks Taz in the Steiner Recliner!! Taz holds off for a few seconds but then submits before passing out from the pain. Big Poppa Pump wins!!
JR: “Scott Steiner wins! Scott Steiner wins! Scott Steiner has won the television title and has won the Crown of Barbwire!!”
JG: “He wins the Crown of Barbwire and with the exception of one chair the hardcore weapons he used to win it, were his hands to execute some of the most devastating moves in wrestling.”
**Steiner and Midajah celebrate in the ring. Steiner holds up the TV Title belt and bursts out into tears and despite the hate for him, Steiner receives a standing ovation from the crowd out of respect for his accomplishment.**
**The explosion board cleared from the ring and taken to the back as the Undertaker receives medical attention and is taken out on a stretcher. As this is going on other members of ring crew put tables around ringside and put bags containing lighter fluid and lighters in the corners of the ring.**
JR: “This match was made after the events of Hardcore TV last Saturday when after Mike Awesome took out Ric Flair and Chris Jericho with a pair of Awesome Bombs through tables. Awesome then proclaimed himself the best big man and the king of the powerbomb. He dared anyone to come out and prove him wrong and someone did answer that challenge.”
JG: “Sid! Sid returned to EHW and anialated Mike Awesome in the ring. He hit the Vicious Powerbomb and he showed Awesome up in front of the entire world. Awesome then challenged Sid to a flaming tables match to determine the true king of the powerbomb and tonight these two will try to settle their differences. But Ross, I don’t know if one match will settle anything with two big men like this.”
** “The Zoo” by Bruce Dickenson plays and Mike Awesome walks out to the ring to some cheers but mostly boos from the crowd who are mostly Sid fans. Awesome gets into the ring and poses for the crowd and for the cameras but still gets more boos than cheers. The lights go out and “Ruler of the World” comes on as Sid makes his way to the ring with the spotlight on him. Sid enters the ring and holds up his right arm and looks at the sky receiving a huge amount of cheers from the crowd. The lights come back on and his music stops but before Sid can take off his vest Awesome jumps him from behind with a dropkick that knocks Awesome through the ropes and to the outside.**
Awesome gets to the outside and throws Sid over the steel guardrail and into the first row of fans. People scurry out of the way as security clears out the first three rows of fans quickly before anyone is hurt. Awesome moves the steel guardrail closer to the ring, then gets back in the ring as Sid gets up to his feet in the first row of seats about eight feet from the ring. Awesome runs off the ropes then uses the top rope to springboard himself onto it and Awesome jumps from the top rope and hits a flying body press onto Sid in the first row of seats! Both men wined up in the second row with folding chairs knocked all over the place. Awesome gets up to his feet first using the second row of chair and picks Sid up and walks him to the steel guardrail. Awesome body slams Sid over it then walks over it himself. Awesome grabs a table and opens it up on the outside of the ring, he takes Sid and sets him up for a powerbomb, but Sid counters and back body drops Awesome through the table. The table is split half and Awesome favors his back and clenches his teeth trying to avoid showing signs of being in pain. Sid puts a table into the ring and gets up to his feet, he walks over to Awesome, picks up one half of the smashed table, and slams it over Awesome’s head. Sid picks up Awesome, he picks him up for a belly to back suplex but instead runs Awesome crotch first into the steel ring post! Awesome yells in pain and kicks his legs favoring his groin as would be expected of any man. Sid looks at the crowd and smiles and signals for them to cheer louder and get into the match, which they do. Sid picks up Awesome, he grabs him by the throat and looks around the crowd ask if asking for advice. The crowd cheers louder and Sid appears to give Awesome a chokeslam but then picks Awesome up in a gorilla press, he holds Awesome in the air, positions himself, and drops Awesome crotch first on the steel guardrail. Sid leaves Awesome hanging and gets back into the ring, grabbing one of the bags containing lighter fluid and a lighter as he does. Sid gets in the ring and opens up the table, Sid takes out a bottle of lighter fluid out of the bag he grabbed and douses the table with it. Sid starts to walk away from the table, but then grabs the bottle and pours even more of it all over the table, then throws the bottle out of the ring, grabs the lighter, and gets out of the ring. Sid walks over to Awesome who fell off the guardrail and is just lying on the floor. Sid takes Awesome and puts him back into the ring, then gets back into the ring himself. Awesome crawls away from Sid and away from the table, which is set up in near the far right corner of the ring. Sid picks up Awesome from behind but Awesome surprises Sid and mule kicks him. Awesome then gets behind Sid and gives him a Release German Suplex through the lighter fluid soaked table! Sid’s vest is completely soaked in lighter fluid and the back of his arms get wet too. Awesome takes a bag out of the far left corner and takes out the lighter, he walks over to Sid and the ref gets in his way and starts yelling at him. Awesome drops the lighter, but then takes the referee and gives the ref a Sit-down Awesome Bomb! that folds the ref in half. Awesome then grabs the lighter again and as Sid gets up on his knees and crawls out of the table, Awesome lights the lighter, drops it on the back of Sid’s vest, and LIGHTS SID ON FIRE!!! Sid rolls around the ring and immediately takes off his vest and puts out the small flames that lit on the back of his arms. Awesome shows no mercy, he picks Sid up and gives him a Chestbreaker. After a couple of seconds a new referee runs down to the ring. Awesome slides out of the ring and opens up a table, then opens up another table and stacks it on top of the table he set up about two feet away from the ring. Awesome reaches into the ring and grabs a bottle of lighter fluid out of the bag he took the lighter from. Awesome sprays lighter fluid all over the bottom table, then gets on the ring apron and empties the rest of the bottle on the top table. Awesome gets into the ring, grabs the lighter, and picks up Sid to his knees. Awesome tosses the lighter to a member of ring crew and tells him to light the tables on fire. The man does, and Awesome picks Sid up and gives him a RUNNING AWESOME BOMB THROUGH STACKED FLAMING TABLES!!! The ref calls for the bell, Awesome wins!
JR: “Sid is on fire! Sid is on fire!”
JG: “Again!!”
**Ring crew quickly sprays Sid and the tables with fire extinguishers emptying all of their cans less than ten seconds after Sid goes through the tables and is lit on fire by the flames.**
JR: “This isn’t going to sit well with Sid and I doubt that we’ve seen the end of these two battling each other over the right to be called King of the Powerbomb.”
**The tables and bags of lighter fluid are cleared from ringside and the ring and ringside are slightly cleaned and washed to get rid of the lighter fluid that remains.**
JR: “This next match for the IC title is a renewal of one of EHW’s greatest feuds. Stone Cold Steve Austin who won the intercontinental title last Tuesday on Turmoil will have his first defense against his greatest rival here in EHW, Triple H.”
JG: “These two have been going back and forth and the feud is back on. Both of these men hate each other and want nothing more than to beat the living hell out of each other. They are going to go at it like two Saigon whores.”
JR: “Was that comment necessary?”
JG: “Of course not, but I always give a little extra.”
**The lights go dark and “Play the Game” by Motorhead plays as The Game appears in the entryway, pours a bottle of water on his head, and proceeds to walk to the ring without Stephanie McMahon. Triple H gets on the ring apron and poses for the crowd and spits water at them receiving nothing but boos. Triple H gets into the ring and lights come back on as his music fades. Glass shatters and “Hell Yeah” by Disturbed hits as Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring carrying the IC Title. Austin gets into the ring and climbs to the second rope of every corner of the ring and holds up the IC Title belt and flicks off Triple H before going to every corner. Austin tosses the belt to the referee and takes off his vest as his music fades and the match is ready to begin.**
Austin and Triple H waste no time and go fist to fist to start the match. Austin gets the upper hand in the fistfight with a hard left fist to the side of Triple H’s face knocking him into the near right corner of the ring. Austin stands Triple H up in the corner and gives him a hard chop, but it bounces off Triple H and Triple H rakes Austin’s eyes and gives Austin a front backbreaker. Triple H gets up, and hits Austin with a running knee drop across the top of Austin’s head and forehead. Austin rolls away from Triple H with his hands covering his forehead. Triple H follows Austin and stomps on him a couple of times, then picks Austin up. Triple H picks Austin up for a hanging brainbuster but as he holds Austin in the air Austin pushes off Triple H’s shoulder and escapes getting behind Triple H. Triple H turns around and Austin gives Triple H a short arm clothesline, then bounces off the ropes, flicks Triple H off with both hands, and elbow drops him across his throat. Triple H gasps for air and rolls out of the ring in the process but Austin does let that keep Hunter from escaping and Austin gets out of the ring as well. Austin gets on the outside of the ring, picks Triple H up, and walks him up the entryway away from the ring. Austin gets about halfway away from the ring then throws Hunter head first into the steel guardrail. Austin kicks Hunter a few times while he is down then picks him up and walks him through the curtain and into the back area of the arena. Austin takes Triple H and throws him into a bunch of metal trash cans bunched together against a wall in the back. Triple H crawls away from the trashcans but Austin picks up a trashcan and follows Triple H and after a couple seconds hits Triple H over his back with a trashcan. Triple H stomps in his tracks and Austin moves so he is standing right over the Game. Austin picks the garbage can over his head and goes to bash it on Triple H’s skull but Triple H jumps up and gives Austin a punch to the throat. Austin drops down to his knees gasping for air as Hunter gets up to his feet. Triple H walks over to the scattered garbage cans and picks one up and places it next to Austin. Triple H picks Austin up so he is bending over and gives him a gutwrench suplex on the garbage can flattening it. Triple H looks over and sees a large tool chest, he gets up and walks over to the tool chest and opens several of its drawers. Triple H opens one that contains a hammer and nails, and Triple H takes out one large nail. Hunter walks over to Austin as Austin is up on his knees, Triple H picks up Austin by the head so Austin is looking up and Hunter stabs Austin in the forehead with the nail several times until blood pours out and covers Austin’s face! Triple H throws the nail away and gives Austin the Knee to the Face Drop! Triple H puts the flattened garbage can on top of Austin and makes a cover, 1…2..NO Austin pushes up on the garbage can and kicks out. Triple H gets up to his feet, picks Austin up, and walks him towards one of the metal garage door entrances to the back of the arena. Triple H whips Austin into the metal garage door, charges, but Austin moves and Triple H misses a splash and hits face first against the metal garage door. Austin very slowly gets up to his feet whipping blood out of his eyes and breathing deeply trying to get his breath back after the attack he took. Austin gets on his feet and takes the camera away from the camera man. Triple H looks up and Austin throws the camera down on Triple H’s face breaking the lens off the camera cutting Triple H’s forehead. Triple H drops down on all fours and Austin picks the camera up and drops jumps down hitting Triple H’s back with the camera on impact. Triple H favors his back and at the same time crawls away from Austin very slowly but is going as fast as he can. Austin gets up and follows Triple H, Triple H gets up on his knees and lunges forward to tackle Austin but Austin moves out of the way and Triple H crashes onto the concrete floor. Austin picks Triple H up and walks him into a bathroom. Austin and Triple H get into the bathroom and Austin throws Triple H face first into the side of one of the stalls. Triple H bounces back onto the bathroom floor and ends up with the back of his head on front of a urinal. Austin bends down to grab Triple H’s hair but Triple H pulls on the front of Austin’s tights and pulls him hard head first into the ivory urinal! Blood continues to flow from Austin’s forehead and Triple H slowly gets up, he takes Austin and throws him face first into a different urinal. Triple H pulls Austin out of the urinal, turns him around away from the urinals, and sets him up for the Pedigree. He is about to hit it when Austin turns it into a back body drop and Triple H’s right knee strikes one of the sinks. Triple H favors his knee and Austin uses a sink to help him get up to his feet. Austin pulls a mirror off of the wall and waits for Triple H to get up, Triple H gets up and Austin hits Triple H in the face with the mirror and hits the Stunner!! Austin makes a cover, 1..2…3 Stone Cold wins!
JR: “A match that started in the ring, went to the garage area, and ended up in a bathroom of the arena! That is what street fights are all about, matches where everything is legal, and falls count anywhere.”
JG: “You might think that match was great, Ross but I think it had a crappy ending. Get it?”
JR: “I get it, it’s just not funny.”
JG: “(muttering) Yeah screw you, you dumb fuck.”
JR: “What was that?!”
JG: “I said I hope this show isn’t stuck. Yeah, stuck here because we still have the main event to come, the World Title Match.”
**A brief intermission is held as ring crew as well as employees of Com Ed take down the ring ropes and replace them with thick barbwire. Then power lines as thick as the barb wire ropes are placed in between the top and second and second and bottom ropes on each side of the ring. Wires are then set up connecting the power lines with the barbwire. The wires and power lines are hooked up to generators on the outside of the ring and that will run 15,000 volts of electricity through the power lines and wires which will juice the barb wire with the electricity as well. The referee gets into the ring wearing long burlap sleeves and gloves on his arms and hands and wears protective goggles.**
JR: “This next match is, well quite frankly is going to be ugly. As you see barb wire and electrical power lines have been set up in place of the ring ropes by ring crew and members of Com Ed Power. Once the electricity is turned on, anything that touches the barbwire or power lines will be hit with fifteen thousand volts of electricity. This match is not for the weak of heart, and is going to be violent and hard to watch.”
JG: “I’ve seen one electrified barb wire match. It was on tape, it took place in Japan in the FMW promotion. I have never watched that tape again, because what happens after the wrestlers hit the barb wire ropes, is hard to watch as well.”
JR: “This is very serious business folks. No jokes, no messing around, all precautions have been taken. So with all of that said lets go to the ring.**
** “Come Out and Play” by The Offspring plays and Raven walks to the ring to the cheers of the crowd. Raven carefully get into the ring and poses for the crowd by making a crucifix with his arms. Raven takes off his leather jacket and throws it over the barb wire ropes as his music turns off. A remix of “Cowboy” by Kid Rock hits and the eHw World Champion, Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring with his guitar in hand to a sea of boos from the crowd. Jarrett gets into the ring and holds up his guitar as pyros go off in the middle of the ring. Jarrett places his guitar in the far left corner of the ring. His music turns off, the bell is rung, and the generators are turned on running 15,000 volts of electricity through the power lines and barb wire ropes.**
Raven and Jarrett circle the ring each respecting the barb wire as the crowd stays on their feet. Jarrett walks up to Raven and puts his right arm up in the air daring Raven to do a test of strength. Raven starts to put his arm up with his eyes on Jarrett’s arm, but as he does Jarrett sucker punches Raven with his left arm to the side of Raven’s head. Raven is knocked close to the barb wire and Jarrett hammers away with lefts and rights trying to knock Raven into the electrified barb wire. Raven gets dangerously close, but when Jarrett takes a few steps back and runs to clothesline Raven into the barb wire Raven steps forward and elbows Jarrett right in the nose. Jarrett falls back and clutches his nose, Raven moves in and gives him a spinning neckbreaker. Raven then takes Jarrett and puts him in a dragon sleeper for several seconds but can’t keep the hold applied because Jarrett slips through his knee and arm. Raven then kneels over Jarrett’s face and gives him four punches to the face then gets up as Jarrett clenches at his face. Blood starts to drip out of Jarrett’s nose as he gets back up to his feet. Raven goes for a belly to back suplex but Jarrett blocks it and counters with an arm drag takedown. Jarrett doesn’t let’s go after hitting the move and both men get back up to their feet and go after each other. Jarrett grabs Raven’s left arm and whips Raven towards the barb wire ropes but Raven drops down and slides on the mat to avoid hitting the electrified barb wire ropes. Raven is within inches of the ropes as he starts to get up, but Jarrett walks up to Raven and starts to push Raven towards the electrified barb wire by his throat. Raven’s head is within centimeters of being shocked by 15,000 volts of electricity, and out of desperation Raven punches Jarrett in his groin. Jarrett stops pushing Raven and drops down to the mat on his back. Raven gets up and picks up Jarrett’s legs, Raven spreads them apart and hits Jarrett with a head butt to the groin. Jarrett favors his slapnuts as Raven gets up to his feet and looks at the power lines in-between the ropes distracting Raven for only a few seconds. Raven gets on his feet, walks back up to Jarrett’s feet, picks up Jarrett’s left leg, and puts him in a spinning toe hold. Raven keeps doing the hold but on the third spin Jarrett takes his right leg and pushes Raven away with it pushing Raven into the electrified barb wire!!! A mini explosion takes places as Raven is shocked with 15,000 volts of electricity! Raven comes off the barb wire ropes and power line immediately and falls face down on the mat and doesn’t move. Jarrett sits up and looks over at Raven with horror in his face as to what just happened. After a few seconds Jarrett crawls over to Raven, turns him over, and makes a cover, 1..2..NO Raven kicks out of the pin attempt but shows minimal movement after it. Jarrett is surprised Raven kicks out and makes another pin attempt, 1.2..NO Raven kicks out again and pushes Jarrett away so Jarrett almost comes in contact with the electrified barb wire. Jarrett carefully gets up to his feet and picks Raven up, he gets Raven up on his feet and gives him a kneebreaker. Jarrett hangs on to Raven’s right leg after hitting the move and immediately locks Raven in the Figure Four Leglock! Raven sits up and yells in pain as Jarrett lays back on the hold putting as much pressure as he can on Raven’s right knee and left leg. Raven tries to fight the hold but falls back and his shoulders lay on the mat, 1..2.NO, Raven sits up again and tries to fight off the pain. Raven knows he can’t use the ropes to escape the hold or he’ll be electrified, so with that in mind Raven builds some momentum and tries to reverse the hold. Jarrett fights off the reversal as much as he can but after putting all of his effort into it Raven finally does reverse the figure four and puts the pressure on Jarrett’s legs. Jarrett has no choice to break the hold, he does and both men stay on the mat favoring their legs. Jarrett is the first one up to his feet, he walks over to Raven who is on his knees and picks him up. Jarrett gets Raven up and picks him up for a powerbomb, but Raven counters with a sunset flip with a pin attempt, 1..2…NO Jarrett kicks out. Both men get up on opposite sides of the ring, Jarrett charges Raven but Raven leap frogs Jarrett and Jarrett runs right into the electrified barb wire!!! Sparks fly everywhere as 15,000 volts of electricity runs through Jarrett’s body from head to toe. Jarrett hangs starts to walk out of the barb wire very wobbly and Raven runs at him from the side and clothesline him down to the mat. Raven calls for a chair and a member of ring crew throws one over the barb wire ropes into the ring. The chair bounces on the mat but Raven walks over to it, picks it up, unfolds it, and places it in the middle of the ring. Raven picks up a semi limp Jeff Jarrett and brings him over to the chairs seat and gives him a Short Arm Drop Toe Hold on the chair! Raven makes a cover on Jarrett, 1…2…NO Jarrett somehow kicks out after taking a brutal array of punishment from Raven. Raven moves the chair just a couple of feet closer to the near left corner of the ring, leaving it near the center. Raven then takes Jarrett to the opposite corner, and goes to give him a running bulldog on the chair but Jarrett pushes Raven into the electrified barb wire!!! Raven goes front first into 15,000 volts of electricity and hangs onto the barb wire. The voltage stops running on that side of the ring until Raven lets go after a about ten seconds, Jarrett gets up out of the far left corner with his guitar in hand and as Raven backs away from the barb wire Jarrett smashes the guitar over his head! Raven collapse and doesn’t move at all and Jarrett drops down on his ass and recoups from the shots he just took. Jarrett crawls over to Raven’s body and makes an arrogant cover, 1.…2…NO, Raven gets his left shoulder up to the shock of Jarrett. Jarrett stands up, takes Raven and rips his shirt off of his body. Jarrett gets the shirt completely off him and throws it away and Raven’s body is shown to have cuts and burn marks on his back and sides from the electrified barb wire. Jarrett picks Raven up and walks Raven over to the left side of the ring within a foot to the electrified barb wire that Raven has his back to. Jarrett picks Raven up for a front suplex onto the electrified barb wire but as he is in the air Raven gives Jarrett a shot to the nose and Jarrett drops Raven. Raven drops down to the mat body first as Jarrett favors his nose. Raven gets up right away and although moving slow Raven is able to give Jarrett a Russian Legsweep into the electrified barb wire causing an explosion on the ropes and both men are shocked!!! Jarrett took the front of the blow but Raven forgot that if you hang on to the man that hits the electrified barb wire, that you will be shocked too. Both men lay apparently unconscious on the left side of the right. The wires are blown up and the power line is burned up beyond repair after that blow and the electricity is turned off on that side of the ring as the referee begins a manual ten count. 1…2….3…..4….5……6…….7……..8………9……….before the referee can count to ten Jeff Jarrett is the man that puts his arm over Raven to make a count, 1….2…. NO Raven gets his right arm up. Raven gets his arm up but doesn’t move after that since he has taken a total of 45,000 volts of electricity during the match so far. His heart is slowed down, his brain isn’t thinking as fast, and smoke is rising from both his and Jeff Jarrett’s bodies. Jarrett grabs onto the barb wire ropes and although he cuts his hands he uses them to get up to his feet since the electricity is turned off on that side of the ring. Jarrett gets up and calls for the end of the mat. Jarrett gets up and calls for the end of the match, he picks Raven up and has to carry Raven up who appears to be just dead weight at this point. Jarrett picks Raven up and holds him up next to him, Jarrett puts Raven into position for The Stroke but Raven all of a sudden spins into Jarrett’s body and hits the Evenflow DDT!! But Raven doesn’t make a pin attempt right away because he spent most of his remaining energy on that move. Raven lays on his back breathing heavily to catch his breath and get oxygen to his brain, lying next to Jarrett who is on his belly. Raven rolls Jarrett on his stomach and makes a cover, 1….2…NO Jarrett kicks out but like Raven before him shows minimal signs of movement. Raven then calls for a table and one is slid in-between the ropes on the left side of the ring. Raven on his knees opens up the table, gets on his feet and places it in the middle of the ring. Raven picks Jarrett up and slowly lays him on the table, then climbs up on the table himself. Raven stands and picks Jarrett up on his knees then on his feet, Raven headlocks Jarrett, then gives him the Evenflow DDT through the Table!!! The table cracks up and folds on both men, Raven rolls out of the table, and covers the table on top of Jarrett, 1….2…..3! Raven wins the eHw World Championship!!
JR: “It’s over! It’s over! My god the most brutal match maybe in the history of EHW is over and we have a new EHW World Heavyweight Champion and his name is Raven!”
JG: “Raven was electrocuted three times in the barb wire and power lines and he still managed to hit his finishing move twice. Raven deserves to where that title around his waste, and he deserves to have also won the Crown of Barbwire.”
**Raven is handed the title as he is taped up above his ribs where he received a deep cut from the barb wire ropes after being pushed front first into them earlier in the match. Raven pushes the medics away after they put the tape around him and stands in the middle of the ring holding the world title up while making a crucifix with his arms.**
JR: “That was the most difficult match I have ever had to call in my life, both men were pretty much shocked to hell with that Russian Leg Sweep the blew up the power lines on that side of the ring. Tonight we saw seven great matches, six men walked away winners, five of this companies all time greats competed, four of the most extreme match types in wrestling took place, three new champions were crowned, two men have entered the Crown of Barbwire, and it all happened in one night here at EHW’s Hardcore Addiction. For Joel Gertner this is Jim Ross, goodnight everybody!!”
