Long, long ago, debaters existed in a state of Nature. Since it was the state of Nature, their weren't any really nice clotheing stores for the debaters to get their clothes from, so while today a judge might compliment one on one's impressive suit or dress, back then they'd just say, "Hey, nice lepard skin."
In this state of Nature, debaters were in possession of perfect liberty. They did not, however have perfect license. This did not matter to them anyway, because they were debaters, and the laws of reality, justice, and morality are smeared for all debaters (since we debate them so much). The debaters would just hit eachother over the heads with clubs and did alot of grunting in cross-ex.
Some debaters got together and started debating the morality of using clubs. This was a pointless endeavor, but debaters like pointless endeavors. The debaters split into two factions. Some believed that the clubs were of inherint immorality because they could only do harm. Some debaters believed it was the debaters who where immoral because they used the clubs to hit other debaters over the head. Those factions split into yet more factions when one debater conjectured that perhaps the clubs were amoral, and then another debater conjectured the debaters were amoral. Still other factions formed when one particularily lucious female debater grunted that perhaps morality was not the issue at all, but it was indeed dignity that they were concerned with. (Alot of the guys took her side.)
Well, soon it got to be a pretty darn bad mess. Everyone was grunting and hooting and banging heads together and popping out the wine bottles (hey, we debaters have finesse) and getting alittle pinkish and while the debaters were having gun, they weren't getting anywhere.
Then, one debater got a really special idea. "You know...." she began slowly, "We keep talking about that Locke guy's social contract. What if we actually, I dunno, applied it to reality in some way." The other debaters all started hooting excitedly. Some got so excited they began jumping up and down and scratching their armpits. After the "jumpers" got settled, the debaters got together and started discussing a social contract that could be applied to real life.
First they tried monarchy. To twist the wording of the Bible around, "And it was not good." Every debater somehow got it into their heads that they were the monarch. So they decided to make an aristocracy rule. But immediately counter aristocracies were formed, and all that was really accomplishd was a food fight. (Ahhh! My leapard skin!) Finally the debaters formed a democracy. Each debater had equal rights, equal opportunity, and some nifty welfare provisions (very important to us debaters, welfare I mean). The only problem was, by the time they got around to forming their own democracy, they were already participating adult members of the United States of America. Most of them gave up on the debater utopia dream. However, I do believe there is a debater militia out there with clubs....somewhere. Disclaimer: This story is in no way meant to insult those fine debaters in Wyoming! I chose the state at random.
