Chapter
23 – Grin And
Bear It
“I’ll
see you later honey,” Jane Carter said to her son. “I’m taking a plane back to
Florida tonight. I’ll be back in a few days. Aaron is coming with me, and your
dad will be here on the weekend, ok?”
Nick
nodded listlessly. Mrs. Carter kissed the top of his head, which no longer
sported the bandage. She smoothed his limp blond hair with her hand.
“Mom,”
Nick said, annoyed. “Please don’t do that.” She only smiled at him. “I’ll see
you soon,” she told him as she headed out the door.
Nick
found himself alone with his thoughts. He still didn’t know how long it would
be before he was released from the hospital. Not that released was the proper
word. He was going to be transferred to a physical therapy complex over in the
San Antonio medical center. At least Kevin and Brian were going with him. Brian
wouldn’t have to stay as a live-in patient for more than a week, but Kevin
would have to be there for about as long as Nick.
He
frowned to himself when he realized he was glad that it was Kevin he would be
spending so much time with, and not Brian. There was something about Brian all
of the sudden that made him very uncomfortable, even unhappy. He didn’t know
what it was.
When he
had first seen him, he had been happy. He didn’t remember their conversation,
but he remembered the feeling of joy and relief that he had felt when he had
been reunited with his best friend. Since then, however, things had
been…different.
It was
nothing in particular Brian was doing, at least as far as Nick could tell. He
was doing exactly what a best friend should do. He came to visit him, sat and
chatted with him, and made him laugh when he was feeling particularly miserable
about his condition. Nick couldn’t put his finger on what he was feeling, but
it seemed his injuries pained him twice as much when Brian was around. It was
silly, he knew. But his discomfort around him would not go away. If anything,
it grew stronger each time. It was also becoming obvious that Brian could sense
what he was feeling. His smiles were beginning to look more and more forced,
and he was trying harder and harder to show Nick his support. Nick remembered
their “meeting.” Brian had been the first to leap to his defense when he’d had
his outburst.
The
others had begun to notice that the haunted look that had permeated Brian’s
eyes in the days after the accident was slowly returning. Nick didn’t really
care. He hated his hospital bed. He hated his room. He hated that he had to
depend on everyone else for everything. He was terrified that with his new
kneecap, he may not be able to perform as well as before. That was a fear he
shared with no one. The doctors had told him everything would be fine, but he
didn’t believe them. He couldn’t tell anyone because he was afraid no one else
would understand, although he had a feeling that Brian knew.
Anger
and frustration were slowly starting to get the better of him. If he were well,
he would have had ways to deal with it. But stuck in his hospital bed, the only
way to release it was to cry, and that only made things worse. Even now he
fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. He was determined not to
let them fall.
All of
the sudden, the heard the sound of someone clearing his throat in the doorway.
As he turned his head, a tear trickled down his cheek. He cursed himself. Brian
was in his doorway holding a bag, pretending not to notice Nick’s face. Damnit.
Another battle lost. Brian shifted under the uncomfortable weight of the bag.
“I
brought you something,” he said softly, not making eye contact. “I thought it
would give you something to do.”
“What
is it?” Nick asked, beating down the rest of his tears.
Brian
set the bag down and opened it up. Inside, Nick was startled to see a
Playstation.
“Where
did you get that?” Nick asked, his eyes wide.
“I had
Howie get it,” he replied. He opened it up and went over to the TV and started
messing with the connections, one handed.
“Thanks,
Bri,” was all he could think of to say. He began to feel horribly guilty for
all of the things that he had been feeling. To make things worse, he still felt
them.
“Well,
I know how much you hate to be down and out, and I was pretty sure you were
missing your video games.” He finished
setting it up and handed Nick the controls. “There you go, ready whenever you
want it.”
Nick
smiled at him. “That was really cool of you, man.”
“No
problem.”
“When
are you getting out of here?”
“Ah,
they are taking me over to that rehab place tomorrow sometime. Howie and A.J.
offered to come with me.”
“That’s
good.” An uncomfortable silence came over them.
“Well,
I guess I’ll leave you alone so you can play your game,” Brian said, getting up
from his chair.
“Why
don’t you play one with me?” Nick asked hesitantly. Brian looked up, surprised.
“Sure,”
he said. “I’d love to.”
They
switched the game on and played a few. Brian did the best that he could do
one-handed, which was cause for a few laughs, but neither of them got as into
the game as they usually did. After awhile, Nick said he had had enough. Brian
stood up quickly to leave.
“Brian,”
Nick called out as he was leaving.
“Yeah?”
Brian paused to turn and face him.
“Thanks.”
Brian
smiled at him briefly, and headed back to his room. Kevin was waiting for him.
“How
did it go?”
“He
seemed happy to get it.”
“What
did you get him again?”
“Playstation.”
“That’s
right.”
Brian
sat down heavily on his bed with his back to Kevin and stared at the wall.
Kevin knew that something was bothering him, but he was hesitant to press him
for details. Brian usually came forward on his own when something was wrong.
This time though, this didn’t seem the case. This disaster had messed with all
of them, especially him.
“Something
the matter, cuz?”
“It’s
nothing,” Brian said, waving his hand as if it would make it go away.
“Are
you sure it’s nothing?”
“Yes,”
Brian said, irritated. “I’m sure.”
“Is it
about Nick?”
“Damn,
you never give up do you?”
“My
head may be a little whacked out, but I have known you your whole life. You
cannot fool me. When are you gonna learn that?”
He
realized that Kevin was right and gave in. “Yes, it’s Nick.”
“Are
you worried about him still?”
“That’s
part of it.”
“What
do you mean?”
Brian
sighed. “I almost feel like he doesn’t want me to be around. He’s fine when
anyone else comes to visit, but when I come in the room…” He wished he could
find the words to describe what he felt.
“That’s
silly. He’s your best friend.”
“I
don’t know how to explain it.”
“Don’t
let it bug you,” Kevin said. “We’ve all been through a lot, and we all handle
it differently. He’ll come around, you’ll see.”
“I hope
you’re right.”