My best friend Michelle: So how's your husband, James Hettfield? He he, I know you're enjoying your Metallica cds! I miss you lots, but I know you'll do awesome in the Airforce, sir yes sir ma'am sir! Always remember, don't pull the balls off the mice! Squeak, squeak, I wanna carrot! Watch out for penguins in OK; they're behind the tornados there ya know! Not the cows like Tony says!
Becky aka Uh-Oh: Man, you got problems! But don't we all? Of course! Easily amused is fun, but I'm sure you know that. And of course cartoon mascots on cereal boxes
influence people! Two last things: Mickey is dead, and Garth is a corpse, so HA! Oh yeah, and "Dancing queens..." he he he!
Travis: I told you the penguins were evil! Don't have anything against lemmings though, so you should be okay now. I'm just proud of you for staying out of the nuthouse this long. Unless there's something you haven't told me, like you happen to live in a white room with padded walls. In that case, have fun bouncing off the walls!
Jason: Hey, ever hear of emailing? Look, we all got problems, but at least you know you can look like Cher if you put your mind to it! Maybe even vampire Cher! Or something. You're going to kill me aren't you?
Greg: So you ever going to actually put anything on your page or what? Yeah, I know you're lazy. Keep battling the penguins with the ninjas, and you'd better keep me informed about their plots! Don't feel too bad about your world; it keeps us amused during history, and that's always a good thing. Nice Americas on the left side too. Hey, here it is! Who put that on here?
Joe aka Plastic Beans: Ah, what would the world be like without people like you? Well, it wouldn't have people like you, that's for sure! But then the potatoes might take over, and, well, I don't think anyone wants that to happen! Except maybe you. In any case, it wasn't me!
Wes: Man, I think we just got some really bad luck with penguins disguised as people! Well, at least you can always get high off the markers in science. I mean, um, markers? what markers? Will someone please just kill the markers?!
Cursed Burger: I don't care what you say, I'm not going to stop eating hamburgers! You were right about the parrots, they are spies for the penguins. I should've seen it coming. The nerve of them, hacking my emails to insert their subliminal messages! Better watch out for them, especially that one dude, Pokey.
Efrain: Dude, I said I wasn't going to forget you, but I bet you don't remember me! Anyway, I don't have much of a choice with that story about us on here. Thanks for making me write that, think it's my favorite, or at least one of em, now.
Andy: So, how's the weed field and crack buisness? He he, Michelle told me about that! Thought it was funny cuz I'm always saying I'm a crack dealer. You seem pretty funny though, even if some people do really messed up things around you. *cough* Matt *cough* Becky *cough* me *cough* I'm really sorry, what can I say, we all got problems!
The Group Formerly Known As The Bleach Boys: I really don't have anything against you guys, honestly, though it is amusing to watch your hair changes. I know at least two of you think I do, and the other two, well, I used to, but I generally don't hold grudges for long. If you wanna ask about that stuff, I do have an email address. Plus I got a major asshole to deal with now besides any of you *cough* Mike Dumbass *cough* Though come on Goldilocks (Matt came up with that name, not me), you couldn't even sign my yearbook? What's up with that? Well, okay, I guess I can kinda understand that, but I was the one who told them not to chase you with a camera, so ha!
Anyone at my school who knows Mike Dumbass: I AM NOT STALKING HIM AND DO NOT LIKE HIM!!!!!
