I should have known! Mark just could not leave well-enough alone. I thought he understood what I meant when I talked to him yesterday. Today started off like a normal average day. I went to football practice this morning, got my car washed, and decided to round up the gang for a day at the beach.
Mark, Amy, Chris, and Jenny agreed, no problem. Kate, of course, was a different story. She was working at her father's office today, and he had already given her permission to leave. She did not really want to come along. After being best friends with someone for eleven years, you tend to know these things. I thought maybe Mark had divulged...the secret. Anyway, in the end, she agreed to come. I picked her up in my car, per usual, because "the Clunker" was in the shop, per usual. She acted like she has been lately. Distant.
When we arrived at the beach, the rest of the gang was already there, acting characteristically. Kate, though, was acting too, I don't know, happy. I know that seems awful to say. But instead of her pure sugar sweetness, all i felt was the bitter aftertaste of saccharine. Jenny rode home with Kate and me. She had dumped both Bill and Tony; I hate it when she dumps her boyfriends because I always have to answer all of the awkward questions they ask.
I walked Kate home. I know she lives right next door; talk about lame moves. She seemed tense around me. Again, I wondered if Mark had told her...but no, he wouldn't. Somehow the whole gang is drifting apart; the basic proof of that lies in the way Kate and I act around each other. I don't know what's happened.
I tried calling her to try and smooth things over and because it is tradition. And because I wanted to lay it all on the line. The first three times I called the line was busy. I figured she was talking to Amy. The fourth time I called, she picked up the phone and sounded tired. Of course, I pulled my big brotherly act. Things went downhill from there. She yelled at me, got all defensive, and then hung up on me!
I called her again a few seconds later, and she told me she didn't want to talk to me. I was pretty annoyed by then, more with myself and Mark than with Kate. So what did I do? The most childish thing possible. I hung up on her. I stewed over that for an hour before I thought up a way to apologize. I raced outside and threw pebbles at her window. After she was up, I held up a sign asking for her apology.
She raced down and accepted my apology. I discovered the reason she had been so distant: she did not want to have to face the fact that this might be our last year together. She told me that Mark didn't even think that the gang would still be together at the end of this year.
Then, she dropped the bombshell. Mark, my traitorous former best friend, asked her to the dance. Alone. And she accepted. He asked her after I told him precisely how I felt about her. Now, there is no chance for Kate and me to be anything more than best friends.
Jeffrey Davis
I let the ink dry in my journal before slamming it shut. That felt satisfying, so I slammed stuff all over my room. After shoving the contents off my bookshelves, Jenny burst in.
"What the hell is going on here?" she thundered. "I have just been trying to be ladylike while I was talking to Tony. And you go and ruin it by making all that racket. Shouting over what sounds like the house coming down is not ladylike!" Keep in mind, of course, that Jenny's voice sounds like a sonic boom when she's whispering. The words "not ladylike" were probably heard in Kuwait.
What did I do? After (basically) keeping my temper with Kate, and not having the opportunity (yet) to express my newfound dislike for my newfound enemy (arch-rival), Mark, I lost my temper. "You want to know 'what the hell is going on here?' Huh? Well, life sucks! That's what's going on here. Proof that life sucks because even your supposed best friends will stab you in the back."
Jenny looked at me like, Okay, he has really lost it this time. She sighed wearily. "Okay. What did Kate do this time?"
"Not Kate. Mark. Well, Kate...and Mark...together."
Jenny cracked her knuckles, a sure sign she was about to give advice. "Okay. Define together ."
"Together. Gee, that should be easy enough for even a dumb blonde like yourself. Together. Going to the dance together. Going on dates together. Parking together." At this last remark, I wiggled my eyebrows comically. Jenny, of course, ignored the insult. We call ourselves the dumb twins. She's the dumb blonde; I'm the dumb jock.
I knew then that I had gone too far, sounded too jealous. Jenny, though, seems to understand (through weird twin-karma) when she is supposed to tactfully overlook my remarks. I thought. "O-kay," she said, "what is going on for real ?"
"Nothing," I mumbled with my head down.
Jenny took a few deep breaths, trying to control her temper. "It obviously isn't nothing if you almost demolish your room. I have a feeling that this has something to do with that very interesting conversation of yours and Mark's that I heard the other day."
"You eavesdropped?"
"No, but obviously there was something to overhear. Am I right?"
I knew then that I was basically defeated. My sister is proof that the FBI and CIA should be composed entirely of females. "Yeah."
"And, per usual, you were acting the perfect older brother to Kate by telling Mark to buzz off. And you also threatened bodily harm on him if he didn't. Am I right again?"
Yes! She hadn't discovered the real truth. The Real Reason that I was going to pound Mark at practice tomorrow. She was still waiting for my answer. "Of course you're right," I said, summoning up the courage to smile. "Mark just didn't listen. And," I continued, "he's going to pay for that."
"That's good. It's nice to know that my little brother is finally getting a little backbone. But I have a feeling Kate didn't appreciate it too much."
My head got even lower, if that was possible. "No, she didn't. We had a fight."
"You two have been fighting a lot lately. In fact, I've been beginning to wonder if maybe you and Kate... liked each other."
My head was starting to pound and my throat felt tight. "Of course we like each other; we're best friends."
Jenny turned to leave the room. "You're hopeless," were her last words to me before she left for her room.
Finally I thought, as I fell back onto my bed, I'm alone. And after locking my bedroom door, I went through my daily nighttime ritual. I showered, brushed my teeth,and put out my clothes for the next day. Normal stuff. Then I performed my newest part of my nighttime ritual.
I reached between the mattress and pulled out a framed eight-by-ten picture. Looking at it, I felt my insides crumble. The picture was taken at the beach a few months ago, at the beginning of the summer. In it, I was laughing, with my arm around Kate. And she was smiling up at me, the only one to understand what I was really laughing at.
I bent my head down and kissed Kate's image. Then I rubbed my hand across my eyes. Secretly, I was surprised to have held the tears off that long.
I don't know when I first discovered that I was in love with Kate. I think it occurred around the time we started high school. I've kept silent about my feelings, partly out of fear, and partly because I knew that if any of the gang paired off, it would destroy the group. So I am a certifiable coward.
I figured that I would get no sleep that night. But somehow, even though my world felt like it was destroyed, I was out by the time I hit the pillow.
Brinng 6: a.m. Time to get up. If I'm not up in thirty seconds, Mom....
"Jeff, honey! It's time to get up! You don't want to miss your first day as a BMOC, do you? Jenny, you need to get up." My mom's voice sounded too cheerful for six in the morning. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom.
After getting dressed, shaving, and brushing my teeth, I began to feel somewhat human again. I me Jenny on the way downstairs. "Is there some reason why Mom is so chipper this morning?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "How should I know?"
"Boy, somebody is grouchy today. If Kate is ticked off with you as-is, you better get in a better mood. Are we driving her to school this morning?"
My mood got even more bleak. "I don't know. Maybe she's going with Mark."
When we arrived downstairs, Kate was sitting at the breakfast table. She spends so much time at our house that I'm amazed she even knows where her home is. And she looked great; I'm amazed I didn't begin to drool. Mom was just glowing; she's Kate's godmother and treats her like one of us. Kate looked happy, too.
Dad looked up from the paper and smiled at Jenny and me. Mom cleared her throat and said, "Jeff, Jenny, I've got some news."
Jenny and I exchanged looks. Uh, oh .
"Your dad and I are going to have a baby."
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