It's all about timing....
I just couldn't resist it, I've been often wondering what would happen if T & P would've been in the gorge when Mufasa died? They showed up at the right time, when Simba was weak and alone, but after all, Simba WAS a carnivore and he wasn't at his home. This is my first (short) parody, so flame gently. Hakuna Matata!;)
SIMBA: "Heeelp! Somebody! Anybody...Help..."
Simba sniffled and searched for someone to help, but there was no-one around. He looked over his shoulder to see if this was really
happening.
Yes, his father was dead. The great lion king lay lifeless on the hard ground.
Meanwhile, two friends, a meerkat and a warthog were mearby searching for food: bugs.
TIMON: "I told ya, Pumbaa, there are no bugs in a gorge where at least a hundred wildebeests just trembled on the even the last ones!"
PUMBAA: "Sorry, Timon. But we gotta find something, I'm starved!"
TIMON: "You're always starved, you're nothing BUT starved all the time. Besides, it's creepy down here. Not that I'm scared, of course, it's just...uhh, cold, that's it. We should find a warmer place, why don't
we ever go to Hawaii? Or..."
PUMBAA: "Quiet, Timon!"
TIMON: "I'm not yelling!"
PUMBAA: "Hush! Hear that?"
TIMON: "Hear what?"
PUMBAA: "Like somebody's crying."
TIMON: "Yeah, probably your stomach. Hah!"
PUMBAA: "No, it's coming from that way. We should go help."
TIMON: "Pumbaa, are you nuts?! It could be something dangerous, like a lion or something!"
PUMBAA: "It doesn't sound dangerous, come on!"
Pumbaa started heading towards the voice, inspite Timon's resistance.
PUMBAA: "Hello? Hello? Anyone there?"
Simba lifted his head. Someone was there! Maybe they could help!
SIMBA: "I'm here! Help me!"
TIMON: "Pumbaa, I don't think this a good id--"
But Pumbaa was already on his way. Through the dust they both saw two forms: one big that seemed to just lie there, and one small that seemed to be rushing everywhere in panic. When the wind blew the dust away,
they saw the small one was a little lion and the big one was -- well, a BIG lion.
TIMON: "Why do I always have to be right...?"
PUMBAA: "Kid, are you okay? What happened?"
SIMBA: *sniffling* "The...there were wildebeests and he...he tried to save me...I--It was an accident, I- I didn't mean for it to happen..."
TIMON: "Mean what to happen?"
SIMBA: "My-- my father..."
PUMBAA: "What did your father do?"
SIMBA: "He DIED!!!"
PUMBAA: "Oh, sorry, kid."
TIMON: "Jeez...That's one, uhh...big lion you got there."
SIMBA: *nods* "He...he saved me and he...he got k-killed himself..."
TIMON: "By who?"
SIMBA: *a little frustrated* "The w-wildeb-beests!"
TIMON: "W-Wildeb-beests?"
SIMBA: "WILDEBEESTS!!!" *sobs*
TIMON: "Okay, okay, I got ya...Carnivores, oy!"
Timon jumps off Pumbaa head and walks carefully next to the sobbing Simba. He still doesn't quite trust the lion cub.
TIMON: "Well, ummm...*clears throat" Look, kid. Bad things happen and you..." *looks uncomfortably at Mufasa* "Are you absolutely positive
the guy is dead?"
PUMBAA: "TIMON!!!"
TIMON: OKAY, OKAY, just checking! Sheesh...Now where was I..."
Scar had been planning this ahead. He was smiling to himself, thinking how easy the rest would be. Mufasa was dead, now all he had to do was
to get rid of the little brat. He would only have to accuse Simba for his father's death and give the nasty work to the hyenas. What a genious he was, indeed!
He saw Mufasa's body lying on the ground from a distance. Now where was the little prince? Ahh, there, something small inside a cloud of dust.
Now for the fun part...
SCAR: "Simba, what have you done?"
TIMON: "Hey, I ain't done nothing!"
SCAR: "Wha--who--what's going on here?!"
TIMON: "Hey, I thought that was my line!"
SCAR: "Do you feel the sudden urge to end up on my dinner plate, rat?!"
Timon freaks, jumps on Pumbaa's head and lurks behind his ears.
SIMBA: "Uncle Scar!"
SCAR: "Simba, what are you doing with this rat and this pig?!"
PUMBAA: "PIG?!"
TIMON: "Trust me, Pumbaa, I do not recommend getting mad at this guy!"
Pumbaa looks suspiciosly at Timon but ends up ignoring Scar's comment.
SIMBA: "Well, they...they helped me, uncle Scar. I--"
SCAR: "Your father is dead and you're playing around with your food?!"
Timon gets very disturbed by this line. He hides behind Pumbaa ears and whispers something about getting ready to run if they make any sudden moves.
SIMBA: "I-I-- But they, I-I thought they could go get help, uncle Scar!"
SCAR: *sarcastically* "But I thought they could go get help, uncle Scar...! What will your mother think?"
SIMBA: "Well, I-I, uhhh..."
SCAR: *gets an idea* "And how can you be sure that those two weren't the ones who killed your father?!"
TIMON & PUMBAA: "WHAT?!?!?!"
Simba is getting suspicious. He slowly turns around with a realizing look on his face.
SIMBA: "Yeah...How CAN I be sure?"
TIMON: *gulps* "But, but, kid, we were with ya all this time!"
SIMBA: "Oh yeah? What were you doing in the gorge in the first place?"
TIMON: "We-- we were hunting bugs!"
SIMBA: "Oh, sure, even Zazu could make up a better story!"
PUMBAA: "But kid, it could have been any of us! It could have been that black-maned guy!" *pointing at Scar*
SCAR: *feeling cold chills running up his spine* "Wha--who, me?!"
TIMON: "Yeah...How can ya be sure it wasn't HE who was behind this all! *to himself* Whatever IS this all..."
SIMBA: "Uncle Scar? Was it you?"
SCAR: "Of course not! How can you think of something like that?! It-- it
could have been...*thinking to himself*...Gopher!"
SIMBA: "But Gopher wasn't here when it happpened. It could have been...Zazu!"
SCAR: *relieved* "Oh, yes...Maybe it truly was Zazu, I often heard him talking about killing Mufasa..."
SIMBA: "No! It couldn't have been Zazu! I saw him still lying unconscious when I was looking for my dad, maybe he fainted or somethin'..."
SCAR: *wiping his forehead with his paw* "Yes, maybe he did faint...or something..."
NUKA: *from out of nowhere* "Maybe it was me!"
EVERYBODY: "SHUT UP!"
NUKA: "But dad..."
SCAR: "Shut up, oh-perfect-stranger-whom-I-have-never-heard-of!!!"
Nuka groans and his voice disappears.
SIMBA: "If it wasn't Zazu, and if it wasn't Gopher, and if it wasn't that whoever-it-was...Then there's only ONE...choice...left..." *looking Scar directly in the eyes*
Scar gulps. The little brat found out after all!
SIMBA: "...and that is...THEM!" *turns angry to face
Timon and Pumbaa*
TIMON: "AGAIN?! I thought we settled this already!"
SIMBA: "It's you two who are behind my dad's murder! Betcha knew this all along!"
TIMON: *Pumbaa starts backing up* "Oh boy, now we're
in for it..."
SIMBA: "MURDERERS!!!"
Simba runs after screaming Timon and Pumbaa as they run away from the gorge as fast as they can. Scar sighs in relief.
SCAR: "Don't forget to invite them to dinner, son!" *laughs evilly*
The hyenas show up behind him.
BANZAI: "What do ya want us to do, boss?"
SCAR: *grins evilly* "Kill him." *thinks for a minute*
"Nah, what the heck, kill'em all!"
And there we can see it's all about timing. If Timon and Pumbaa would've shown up already in the gorge, it just might have been like this....;)
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