ABSINTHE IDYLLZ
Ahhh, at last...It's time to order a glass of that fabled drink. Now you know it must be something special if we named the Cafe' after the beverage. First a little background on Absinthe. Lara discovered Absinthe in Prague, although it is also available in Spain. It has been banned everywhere else due to puritanical nannies who think they can tell us what we can and can't drink. However, you may also procure Absinthe in various underground barz in Paris, Amsterdam and Berlin. There are probably others, but these are the only ones Lara has personally verified. So what's the fuss the all about?? Why is Absinthe banned???
Absinthe was popularized by various writers and artists of the 19th century. Baudelaire, Poe, Rimbaud, Wilde, Van Gogh, and De Quincy are just some of the prominent members of the artistic world who savored the delights of the "green faerie" as Absinthe was known. Green Faerie you say? Well there is alot of technical data, some questions about a high THC level, wormwood content, etc. etc. etc.(Hey you can find that boring info anywhere, just do an Alta Vista search on Absinthe)but the main issue is that Absinthe gets you wasted. Big time. Zoned and Blitzed. Tight. Whatever word you use, and you get drunk in a way you've never felt before.
Absinthe has a very high alcohol content, sometimes as high as 150 proof. Thus it is impossible or at the very least extremly harsh tasting, to drink in its pure form. Absinthe therefore must be dilluted, it should be imbued with sugar and water. The correct procedure is to have about 2 oz of Absinthe in a glass, place a serrated spoon over the glass with a sugar cube in the spoon. Then add about 8 ozs of water to the glass of Absinthe, SLOWLY pouring the water over the sugar cube and into the glass. This will turn the Absinthe a milky green color, and very shortly after will turn your brain into a swirling mass of faerie induced dreams.
Now it isn't wise to get drunk on Absinthe all the time. Extended abuse of Absinthe can cause brain damage(so they say??) and how are you going to go Tomb Raiding with reality clouded all the time? That isn't to say you shouldn't cloud your reality once a week or so, I mean look at the world around you, it is time for a change isn't it?? Well, for you adventerous types who can't make it to Europe here are some recipies for making your own Absinthe. Let me stress this right now before you attempt to start up your own Absinthe label....WHENEVER YOU ATTEMPT TO MAKE YOUR OWN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES A DANGER EXISTS. For Lara's sake test your sample before drinking down two quarts of the damn thing! Secondly, all of these recipes must be distilled to get the full Absinthe effect. If they are not distilled they are still drinkable, but hardly the equivalent of distilled Absinthe. I am not going to tell you how to distill alcohol. Go to your library(you know that building downtown you've never been to) or surf the web. Note to US citizens distilling alcohol for monetary purposes is against the law without a license. Yes your government really wants to control every aspect of your lives, but just don't go trying to sell your newly bottle label to every local bar and you should be alright.
Well then without further warning here are a few Absinthe starters, have fun, and don't forget to try playing Tomb Raider after 3 or 4 glasses.....
GOTHIC SPICE ABSINTHE
- 30.0 g(grams) wormwood
- 8.5 g hyssop
- 1.8 g calamis
- 6.0 g melissa
- 30.0 g anise seed
- 25.0 g fennel seed
- 10.0 g star anise
- 3.2 g coriander seed
Put the dry herbs in a large jar. Dampen slightly. Add 800 ml of 85-95 percent alcohol. Wine spirits make a better procduct than pure grain alcohol. Let this steep for several days - a week is probably the best if you're not in a rush - shaking the mixture occasionally. Then add 600 ml of water and let the whole macerate(look it up) for another day. Decant off the liquid, squeezing as much from the mass of herb as possible. Wet the herbs with some vodka and squeeze again. This recipe should give a little over a liter and a half of green liquor. It must now be distilled.
In the distillation, change the receiver when the distillate turns yellow: those are the faints. You can save the faints and add them to future distillations, but they will taint the flavor if added directly to the product. The next step is to color and finish the liquer by another round of maceration. Color the distillate by again adding:
4.2 g mint
1.1 g melissa
3.0 g wormwood
1.0 g citron peel
4.2 g liquorice root
Let the herbs macerate for another three or four days. Decant, filter the bottle. You will probably want to carefully add some concentrated sugar syrup to the blend. The result will be about a liter of 135 proof Absinthe.
Whoaa you exclaim!!! Where do I get all those herbs? Use your imagination people, do I have to do everything 4 U?? Most of the herbs can be found in local herbal or Occult supply stores. Wormwood can be mail ordered from larger Occult supply stores. You need an easier recipe you say? Well ok, but this one isn't nearly as good...
NORDIC FAERIE DUST ABSINTHE
- 1 pint Vodka(Absolut or Stoly for best results)
- 2 tsp crumbles wormwood(dried)
- 2 tsp anise seed
- 4 cardomom pods
- 2 tsp chopped angelica root
- 1 tsp marjoram
- 1/2 tsp ground coriander
- 1/2 tsp fennel seed
- 1 2/3 cups sugar syrup
Place the Vodka in a large jar with a tight fitting lid. Add Wormwood and shake well; steep 48 hrs and strain out. Crush seeds and pods in a mortar. Add them and all remaining spices to the Vodka and steep in a warm place(not oven warm) 1 week. Distill. Filter and sweeten. Easy huh??
Ok, one more, this isn't Absinthe, but it makes a great wine, and has a killer vamp crimson color. Make a few bottles of this, put it in really old vintage green bottles with your own label and your friends will think you're the kewlest...
ADRIANE'S BLOOD
- 2 pints Port
- 2 tsp dried wormwood
- 2 tsp hyssop
- 2 tsp lavender
- 2 tsp marjoram
- 2 tsp peppermint
- 2 tsp sage
- 2 tsp thyme
All herbs should be in a dried form. Steep herbs for one week in the port, then filter and bottle. Serve the wine mixed with 2 or 3 sugar cubes and about 1/3 glass of water. Ok thats it! Have fun and find those faeries, expand your mind, test the boundries, uh oh I feel a Jim Morrison quote coming on....
