PORTLAND, OR - A man was admitted to an emergency clinic with severe bruising and lacerations on his penis and testicles, caused in an accident involving a hand held vacuum cleaner. The man had been vacuuming, wearing only a bathrobe, when he tripped, having been distracted because his robe fell open. "It always does that," he said. "I keep meaning to rig up some kind of tie for it, but I never do. I guess I'll get around to it now." He fell on the vacuum and the small beater bar of the device caused enough damage to require fifteen stitches and an overnight stay at the clinic.
