2--Jaded Luke
     Luke rolled over in the bed, his hand automatically swinging out to envelope Mara's form, but
only cool sheets touched his skin. He opened his eyes, even thought this was far from the first
time that this had happened. It still bothered him, nonetheless. Bothered him because he knew it
was bothering her, this gnawing sensation that grew in her as surely as their child did. So many
years of lost memories were finally coming back to her, and after nearly three years of being his
wife and discovering herself, the only thing that Mara had left to discover was how who she was
and who she had become fit together. 
     He sat up and slid onto the floor. It was way past dawn, and the Palace was already bustling
with activity. Mara's desire to remain mobile in their Jedi instruction had been stifled over the
last few months. Since her belly had started to swell and everything that touched her felt
uncomfortable, staying in one place had suddenly not seemed so bad. Oh, sure, after the baby
was born she would probably change her mind and they would be off again, in that beautiful
cruiser they had pooled their resources to buy, the Jaded Sky (a corny name that had originally
been a joke but had somehow stuck), going from Courscant to Yavin IV, maybe even Endor
(Mara had developed a strange liking of the trees since she'd become a Jedi Knight, which didn't
surprise Luke at all but it bugged the hell out of her since she couldn't stand the Ewoks that lived
in them) and then New Alderaan. There had been a few other planets they had taken a liking to,
but home was between the stars. 
     She'd left her lightsaber, Luke noted as he stepped out of the bathroom and started to pull on
his clothing. He picked it up, feeling an odd tremor in the force. She had put the one he'd given
her in a special place in their ship, like a shrine to the past. It was a symbol of so many things for
both of them individually and together. She simply didn't feel right about using it, risking its loss
or damage. So now it hung simply on the wall in the bedroom of the Jaded Sky, taken out every
once in a while for a specific purpose. Her new lightsaber--a brilliant shade of blue-green that
reminded him of how her eyes as looked when she told him she would marry him--had a grip on
it very similiar to his own. He grinned. Well, she had said she liked it. And as was typical Mara,
she had even improved it.
     She was meditating more deeply than usual. Maybe something had gotten her attention. He
would have to ask her later, if he didn't wind up catching the backlash of it now. The connection
between the two of them had been a little frightening to him for a while. While in the struggle
for survival, it had been a comfort. But in real life, it was discomfiting. It made him realize how
foolish he had been, beyond what he had even dreamed. Only that moment in that chamber, his
back to hers, fighting for their lives, had shook him harder. So hard, he had wanted to resist it,
send it back, refuse it. It was too much to ask, too much to undo. Ten years of barriers and
touch-and-go games, ten years of searching and finding and losing again. Ten years, in which he
had loved another and lost her, only to realize that none of it had ever mattered.
     It was a frightening thought sometimes. He thought he had loved Callista completely and
would just have to wait for her. And how he had chased her! How he had insisted to her again
and again that the Force didn't matter, that they would be happy as they were...all meaningless.
He had never chased Mara like that. He hadn't had to. Mara did her part by running from him. He
was afraid she would still run from him, even during that moment when their souls had touched.
She was so good at denying things, hiding things. She had spent years fooling herself, and her
will was one that refused to be broken. If she believed something to be true, may the Force
preserve the one who proved otherwise. But no, she hadn't run. She had given into it, like
someone who found something that had been lost for so long but never noticed. 
     It was in that moment that he realized how much he truly loved her. How he had always loved
her but was unable to act on it, even admit it. He had always known it, as surely as he had known
that Darth Vader was his father. Perhaps, even, in the same way. So many things stood between
them, and yet when the truth came to her, she did not run. For him, she had stayed. She wanted
him as much as he wanted her, had always wanted him and could never see it.
     How little he understood about the Universe, Luke chuckled. For all their blindness, things
had turned out remarkably well. It if was possible, he loved Mara more now than he ever had. He
loved her more for being the human woman he'd gotten to know over the last three years than the
beautiful, vibrant, powerful and remarkably resilient smuggler he had thought her to be over the
years since he'd first met her. She was still all those things, but so much more than that. 
     Of course, to everyone else, it was a complete and total shock. Only Han, scoundel that he
was, had any clue. But then again, Han knew people. He didn't have to be force-sensitive. He
was lucky in that respect. He got to see how people truly were, what they were hiding, how their
thoughts betrayed them not through disturbances in the Force but in their simple body language
or the tone of their voice. Han could hear things Luke didn't think the human ear could pick up.
But he was always right. After he and Mara had broken the news to Han and Leia, it was Han
who clapped him on the shoulder and said with a wink, "I was wondering when you two would
wake up."
     Leia was too caught up with the peace treaty between the New Republic and the Empire to
devote much of her emotions to it, but Luke knew his sister was happy for him. It wouldn't be
easy for her, no. Mara wasn't much more than a friend--Leia valued her more as a war-time ally
than a confidant. But Luke had always seen how much the two women were alike. Over the last
five years, the two of them had managed to deepen their friendship considerably. Although Luke
doubted her would ever find them exchanging gossip---unless Mara had something jucier than
the location of the cloning facilities on Wayland. In spite of personal feelings, positive or
negative, Leia would be eternally grateful to Mara for rescuing her, Han, and their children from
Thrawn, and Mara would be grateful for Leia's aid in their defeat of Cy'Both. They had their own
unique bond. It worked for them.
     Luke strolled out onto the balcony, looking out over the city. He wished he could see the
greenery on the other side, the park where Mara went to meditate. From what he understood, she
had always spent a great deal of time there, for as long as she could remember................
     The tremor he felt earlier jumped up at him, and he caught a flash of something. They were
Mara's thoughts, sudden and terrified. It was some sort of vision, or a memory, or both. It was of
her mother and her father, both screaming. There was a brief flash of lightsabers and the
phantom smell of ozone and blood. Luke's heart lept into his chest and he had to stop himself
from turning back and running into the apartment. Mara had not called for him. She wasn't in
danger, but something had leapt out at her so quickly that she had been unable to stop herself
from sharing it with him. He briefly felt a flash of disgust from her before she went into her
calming techniques, and then nothing but the low-level harmony of their Force-bond, all
peaceful again.
     He shook his head. She was going to have to explain that one when she came back.
Somehow, he felt she would want to.

     She didn't come back until lunch. Luke was a little annoyed when she didn't show up for
breakfast, but knew she wasn't about to abandon her meditation if she was on the verge of
putting two of the ever-elusive pieces together. He decided to go to the Jaded Sky and do a little
maintenance---"Cleaning," Mara usually said in her sardonic way. "Just say what it is,
Skywalker. You're doing housecleaning, like a good Jedi husband." He was grinning at the
thought as he was cleaning the hilt of his lightsaber when Mara came up behind him and put her
arms around his shoulders. 
     "I'm sorry about before," she said, her voice husky.
     He put the saber down and reached a hand back to thread his fingers through her hair and
bring her face forward so he could kiss her cheek. She straightened and he turned, pulling her
into his lap. She seemed to need it. "It's okay. Get anywhere?"
     "I think so. That little memory I had was a big help." Her eyes were distant and smokey as she
spoke, the green dimming under the sorrow of the vision. "Apparently, my coming into the
Emperor's service was more cold-bloodedly planned than even I suspected. Palpatine sent his
dark jedi to our home to kill my parents. I was traumatized by the whole thing so badly that I
must have blocked it out. Or Palpatine made me block it out."
     Luke frowned. She said it so casually, like she was giving a weather forecast. "Why would he
do that?" he said.
     "That's what I've been trying to figure out." She looked down at him, thoughtful. "You know,
I thought I would feel more when I remembered that. I mean, I think I always knew, on some
level, that my parents were dead, and that Palpatine was responsible. Now that I know...I don't
know. It's like, I'm more relieved than anything. Now I can mourn them and put the ghosts to
rest." She gave a little shrug. "Scary thing is, something tells me that part isn't even important.
It's the WHY that's really monumental. Like it's the answer to life. I don't know," she repeated,
sighing. "I just feel so tired."
     Luke nodded, and then put her hand to his lips to kiss it. "Whatever happens, Mara, I'm here."
     She smiled at him. He felt his heart flutter a little, remembering how rare an occasion it had
once been that she would smile at him. Now, he felt like he owned that smile, like it was just for
him and always would be. As if picking up his thought, she said, "I didn't smile much before I
met you, you know. I was this somber faced thing, always frowing or scowling, even sulking and
moping if the mood hit." She gave a little laugh. "I have a few holos of those days, here and
there. I was so gloomy all the time I think my face was actually grey. I still didn't smile too much
before you and I became...us. But it was more than before. At least now I know why." She
touched his face. "I love you, Luke."
     Once upon a time, those words had rung in her ears like a death sentence. Now, they gave her
comfort to say. "I love you, Mara." And he gently pulled her lips down onto his.

3--Visions
     In spite of her attempts to assure her that she was okay with it, Luke could tell that that
memory of her parents had shaken her harder than even she realized. Mara didn't smile much for
the next few days. The old worry-line on her forehead returned, even though Luke had thought it
long-gone. She was even scowling like she used to, her face going into all those old sharp lines
and angles it had once been. If he hadn't known her so well, he would be afraid it was the old
Mara resurfacing.
     At night, the thoughts swirled in her head, sometimes so loud they kept him awake right
along with her. Why would the Emperor go to such trouble to kill her parents? Why hadn't he
just killed her, too? Why was she special? It wasn't like she was so important, not really. She and
Luke hadn't fallen in love until long after the Emperor was dead. Her existence, either as his
hand or as just an ordinary citizen of the Empire, did not bear much signifigance in history. In
fact, if she had not been the Emperor's Hand, it was very likely that she would never have even
MET Luke Skywalker. 
     Of course, there was that Last Command thing she had been dealing with. What better way to
keep her and Skywalker from falling in love than to make her kill him? Perhaps the Emperor, so
keen on destiny as he was, had seen the two of them together and had wanted to prevent it. But
why? Just out of spite? It seemed like a lot of trouble to go through just to spite them. 
     Then, one night, as Mara drifted off into a sleep she had been denying herself for days, she
had another vision. This one wasn't of the past, but of the future. She had had it before, briefly,
on the observation deck where she and Luke had talked about their upcoming marriage, and
Luke had asked her why she wanted to marry him. He had wanted her to say it, tell him why she
loved him. The businesswoman in her had wanted to throw "gain and loss" reasons at him, but
the Jedi Knight she had become refused to let it go at that. And she had crossed that final line,
broken down that final barrier, and admitted that Skywalker was a part of her, and that she
wanted it that way. 
     She had had a brief vision then, of their children. Nothing too clear, just abstracts. She saw
the vision again this time, more clearly. Two children, one a grown woman entering her
twenties, and another, half that age, looking nothing like his mother or father. The woman was
striking, a fusion between her parents, all strawberry blond hair and blue-green eyes, the color of
Mara's lightsaber. And there was a light coming from her, something like the most peaceful flow
of the Force...but greater. Something far greater.
     Something beyond anything Mara could even imagine. 
     Then, the woman lit her brilliant violet lightsaber and held it up, saluting Mara and giving her
a sad smile. Then she turned, and Mara saw something behind her, something dark and ugly,
something that reminded her of Palpatine but was far worse. This thing was all darkness, no
shred of a form, no chance of hope. And the woman, her daughter......*Callista?*...was turning
into it, her lightsaber lit and ready to strike. And she disappeared, the vision dissolving, and
Mara felt a horrible, overwhelming despair.
     She jerked her eyes awake. Luke rolled over, propping himself up on his elbow, his face all in
shadows like it had been that night in Wayland, when Cy'Both had tried to take control of her
mind and the ysalamari had suddenly cut him off. 
     "What is it?" he said, his voice hoarse.
     "You didn't see it?" Mara said, her voice shaking. Her heart had started to pound in her ears,
and she could feel the sweat on her brow. Yet she lay frozen on her back.   She was sure that one
had been traumatizing enough for Luke to share.
     "No, all I saw was darkness. I tried to see," and here he actually sounded a little guilty,
"because I could feel how afraid you were, but there wasn't anything. I just caught a
name....strangely enough." He frowned, leaning forward a bit more, looking down into her face
with a strange amusement. "Callista?"
     Mara shut her eyes. She was suddenly completely exhausted. The mention of the name sent
all the adreneline out of her body, and now she found that she couldn't keep her eyes open. "I
didn't get that part either," she sighed. "Look, we'll talk about it in the morning, okay?"
     "Will we?" Luke asked, his eyebrow arched.
     She smiled at him, a small, weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Yes. And I promise I won't
send any more visions your way. At least not tonight. Okay?"
     "Okay." He sounded skeptical, but he bent down and kissed her anyway, then lay down beside
her and tried to go back to sleep.
     Mara didn't even have to try. The second she shut her eyes, the world became black and
dreamless.

4--Endor
     The next morning, when Luke rolled over, he was surprised to find that his wife was still
there. She had not gone out at the crack of dawn to meditate, as had been her usual schedule.
And as odd as it struck him, even with the events of only hours ago, he was not at all displeased.
     He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her sleeping form closer. His lips nuzzled her
cheek and slid back into her hair. It had such a scent to it, heavy and sweet. He had always loved
her hair. It had been the first thing he'd ever noticed about her-- even before the hold-out blaster
that she was still so fond of carrying that she had pointed at his head.
     He chuckled at the memory, and it stirred her. Her green eyes gazed about her unseeing, and
then landed on him. "Good morning," she said, her lips still thick with sleep.
     "Good morning, indeed." He kissed her cheek again, letting his love flow freely over their
force-bond, so much that it aroused them both. He had not made love to her in a few months,
after Mara had started to complain that everything on her felt swollen.
     Perhaps she would change her mind when she saw what was really swollen. Seeing her like
this, all soft and yeilding, compared to the hardness she had once displayed in spades and that
had overshadowed her as of late, was too much for him to ignore. His hand roamed under the
covers, and her eyes began to twinkle, echoing his mischief.
     "Why, Master Skywalker," she cooed. "I didn't think all those old saying about Jedi's were
true."
     He frowned a little in amusement. "Like what sayings?"
     "Oh, you know what they say about Jedi Masters....they like to Force it."
     When he kissed her, she knew it was as much to shut her up as anything else.

     An hour later, the commlink in their bedroom started to beep.
     Mara groaned and lifted her head. "We fell back asleep," she stated.
     Luke jerked his head up. "Oh, no." The commlink continued to beep, five, seven, twelve
times. Luke was sure it was someone calling to ask where on Hoth they were, even though his
brain wouldn't stop buzzing long enough for him to think if they had had to be anywhere that
day. He finally reached it, his trousers barely covering his hips as the image appeared.
     "Luke?" It was Leia, dressed in surprisingly completely non-formal clothing. She was
frowning slightly, probably amused to find him half-dressed. 
     "Oh...hi, Leia." He started to reach for his shirt, only to look and see Mara holding it, dangling
it quite out of his reach.
     Not to mention the fact that she was completely without clothing.
     Luke's face turned slightly red as he focused his attention back on Leia. "What's up?"
     "Well.....Han and I were talking about where we were going to take our little vacation. You
know how rarely I get to get away and relax. We were thinking of going to Endor for about a
month, and I was just wondering if you two would like to stop by and pay us a visit."
     The last of the sleep left his head. Han and Leia were not, amazingly enough, on Coruscant,
but on some diplomatic mission to Hapes, where Isolder and his wife were being installed at
King and Queen of Hapes. Leia had agreed to the trip only on the condition that she and Han be
allowed to take some personal time afterwards, considering the fact that Han and Leia had gotten
married not too long before Isolder had--with no small thanks to Isolder and his Dathomir-born
wife. Although it wasn't really an anniversary, it was as close as the two could manage with their
full political lives.
     "We really haven't gotten to see much of you or Mara lately. I know she hates Ewoks," Leia
was saying, her long hair swinging against her shoulders, braided in the same fashion she had
worn during the days of the Emperor's defeat, "but maybe she could find some nice Jedi chant to
make her a little more tolerant and come put up with some in-laws for a few days."
     As Luke opened his mouth to reply, Mara came up behind him and slid her arms around his
shoulder. Her teeth found his earlobe and gave it a slight nip. "We'd be glad to, Leia," she said,
and her lips brushed the soft downy hairs on Luke's neck before she backed out of sight, leaving
Luke to desperately try to repress a shudder as the arousing chill of that guesture passed through
him.
     Leia was definitely trying not to laugh from behind the hand that covered her mouth.
"Wonderful. Let us know when you're coming. We'll be heading to Endor by the end of the
week."
     Luke nodded. "Okay. Bye." And he ungracefully ended the communication.
     Mara was humming to herself as she stood before her closet, trying to find something to
wear. She pulled out a long green tunic and pulled it over her head.
     "What has gotten *into* you?" Luke said, his voice a little more controlled than he felt. "You
haven't done that since we first got married."
     "Well, if you don't like it, I won't do it anymore." She looked at him over her shoulder and
gave him a little wink. "If you're sure, that is."
     He shook his head, but he was smiling. "Sometimes I worry about you, Mara."
     She turned around, the green tunic setting off her eyes. "Why? How else do you expect me to
act when my husband makes love to me first thing in the morning before I'm even fully awake?
You become fully conscious in time to have an orgasm and see how sweet a tune you sing
afterwards. The Emperor could return now and I'd still be smiling."
     Luke moved closer to her. "Well, he's already come back twice and we've taken care of it. I
think he got the message." He paused. "You were still half-asleep? You didn't seem like it."
     "Well, my expert wit never sleeps. I think of ways to rattle you in my dreams, didn't you
know?"
     "I wasn't talking about your wit." He reached her, grinning suggestively, but she put her arms
out. 
     "Come on, Skywalker, I'm sore enough as it is. Besides, there's still some of the day left and
we have to salvage it. If we're going to Endor in a week we have to get the Jaded Sky ready."
     "You really want to go flying off? To Endor of all places?" His smile faded into a look of
concern.
     "I don't care where it is. I'm just tired to being here. You couldn't expect me to stay in oneplace for too long."
     He shrugged. "I don't know. I was kind of getting comfortable here."
     She sighed and shook her head. "Poor Luke. Still the farmboy at heart."
     "You know you love me for it." He kissed her lightly on the nose. 
     "Maybe I do." She frowned. "You know, Luke, if you really want to stay....I just thought you'd
like to see your sister and all. That you'd like to see any other human being than just me and my
swelled stomach all the time."
     He pulled her closer. "Why would I want to see anyone else other than you? I mean, sure, I
miss having Leia around and it will be great to hang out with Han, but... Mara, you're all I need
to be happy. You and our daughter."
     "So you've finally decided to believe me that it's a girl?"
     "I never really disbelieved you." His hand spread across her stomach. "But we don't have a
name for a girl. Did you manage to think of one?"
     Mara's face clouded over and Luke knew she was remembering her dream. "I don't
know...something is telling me to wait. It will come. The whole thing will come together when
it's time." Her eyes focused on his and he felt her mind draw nearer to his. It was so much easier
this way, rather than the clumsy dance of words. And now he could see why she was so different.
She was determined to be at peace with the past, whether the past wanted to wage war on her or
not. "There's so much," she whispered. "I can't make sense of any of it now. When the time is
right, I'll understand." She shrugged. "It's just a feeling I have."
     "I know about feelings." He ran a hand absently through her hair, pushing it back away from
her cheek. "I hope you can do it."
     "It will just take some patience."
     He grinned. "Mara Jade....patient. I think the universe is going to end."
     She jerked away from him and lightly punched him in the stomach. "That's Mrs. Skywalker to
you, you ewok-loving, wampa-mannered Jedi Master wannabe!"
     "What do you mean, 'wanna-be?'" he cried.
     "That's the last morning you take me off guard," she added, turning away from him,
deliberately letting the edge of the tunic lift a little to reveal a flash of creamy skin before
snatching up a pair of trousers to cover it.
     "I guess it's true was they say about Traders, then," he returned.
     "What?"
     "They like to smuggle it in."
     She threw a pillow at him as he backed out of the room, laughing.