Note To The Reader: This was the first Xena fanfic story I ever wrote. I originally posted this on the Xena Netforum in January of 1997. You will see that, at the time, I was following my own education on greek mythology, and as such, the name Ares is spelled "Aries" here, as well as reference to a more than brotherly interest in Aphrodite.
Chapter I
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Aries was in a good mood. Aphrodite had invited him to her villa on Olympus, and currently, she was feeding him grapes after a torrid morning of lovemaking. With the sun shining brightly on his face & a beautiful woman serving his every need, Aries was indeed feeling pleased with himself.
"You should take more time to relax, beloved," Aphrodite whispered gently."Is this not a much more pleasant pass time than planning such dreadful wars?"
That snapped Aries out of his good mood fast. He sat up, and as he did, he remembered the recent destruction of a plan he had to start a war with Athens. Xena had discovered his plans & had warned Athena in time for her to defend the city.
Unthinkingly, Aries blurted out his anger at Xena.
"Damn that woman. If it wasn't for her, Athens would be conquered by now."
"Exactly who, dearest, are you talking about?"
"Who else but Xena?" Aries growled, clenching his fists & narrowing his eyes. "I wish there was some way of getting back at that interfering witch."
Aphrodite looked thoughtful. She stood and softly began to pace.
"What if we caused her some mischief, something to give her as much trouble as she gave you?"
A wicked grin crosses Aries face as he contemplates what he could do to Xena.
"What do you have in mind, beautiful?"
"Well, we don't want to do something that will permanently harm her."
"We don't?" Aries puzzles.
"No, silly. We want to teach er a lesson, not send her to Tartaras."
Even thought that sounded like a good idea to Aries, he did have to agree that the lesson would be wasted with Xena's death.
"What we need is something to keep everyone from going to her for their troubles, or even get close enough to speak to her."
Once again, a wicked grin flashed over Aries face as a devious plot formed in his mind.
"Does Themis still owe you for delivering that nymph to him?"
"Yes, and grateful will you find him. He is completely enchanted with the little chit."
"Then summon him. And Eros as well. I have an idea how I can get back at Xena."
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Mischief on Olympus, Chapter II
The sky was bright & sunny as Xena and Gabrielle strolled along the banks of a slow flowing river. Argo trailed behind them, contentedly nibbling on whatever green plants grew along the path.
"Isn't this amazing? We've been traveling for days without anything happening." Gabrielle exclaimed as she kicked a stray pebble down the faint path.
"I mean, isn't it a little odd that we haven't seen or even heard of anyone in trouble? Not that that's bad, but doesn't it seem odd?"
Rambling on in her normal fashion, Gabrielle didn't notice the intense look of concentration that crossed her best friends face.
"I know. That's what worries me."
Gabrielle, realizing Xena was no longer simply bantering with her, stopped dead in the road, ending up with Argo smacking into her from behind. She stumbled forward, but Xena swung around just in time to catch her arm.
"You should be more careful, Gabrielle."
Xena's wry grin from her friends antics quickly faded as she turned to see Eros miraculously appear in the middle of the previously empty path. With his bow at full draw & pointed directly at Xena, he was a fearsome sight.
Considered one of the most handsome of all the gods, Eros' bow was not the only thing that froze Xena & Gabrielle. Although his appearance was sudden and unexpected, Xena quickly recovered her shock & faced his challenge.
"Is there some reason why you have your weapon pointed at me?"
"There is, but as I am a god, and you a mere mortal, I see no reason to explain in detail. However, I will tell you this. This punishment you have brought on yourself, by interfering with the dealings of the gods. Let this be a lesson to those who would challenge our athority."
In the blink of an eye, Eros released his arrow & watched as Xena attempted to catch the projectile as she usually would. But instead of gripping a firm bullet, the arrow disintigrated in her hand.
Xena opened her hand, but Gabrielle's startled gasp mad her turn in time to see Eros disappear in a glimmer of sunshine.
"What was that all about?"
Xena was just as confused as Gabrielle. Eros had never crossed her path before, and she couldn't think of any slight she may have given to the gods, even unknowingly.
Just then, the winds shifted directions, and Gabrielle, who was standing a little to the side of Xena, turned a ghostly white & plugged her nose.
"Gabrielle! What's wrong? Tell me!"
Xena was frantic with worry. What if the arrow didn't affect her, but Gabrielle instead? Bending over her stricken friend, Xena was stunned when Gabrielle roughly pushed her away.
With a few skittish steps between them, Gabrielle raised her eyes to Xena's startled face.
As bluntly as she ever was, Gabrielle finally replied, "By the gods, Xena. You STINK!"
