Unfair
March 2, 1999
It’s unfair.
It’s so unfair.
Tears run down my cheeks.
I don’t understand them
And they don’t understand me.
I don’t get it.
Why are they out
To ruin my life?
Why must my existence
Be so filled
With their anger?
I want
To run away.
I don’t want
To see them.
Why.
Why.
Why does it have to be the night
Of a cold winter day?
Why?
Why couldn’t it be a bright
And sunshiny summer afternoon?
I cannot run,
I cannot hide,
I cannot even cry in peace.
I am so alone in this world
And hate it
But cannot be alone
In my own house
Which I want to be.
I am lonely,
I am solitary,
I am sad.
I am alone.
Alone.
Alone in the world,
But
Crowded.
Crowded.
Crowded in my own home.
Why?
~Ask~
3/14/99
You ask
For courage
And I
Say to you
What
Should I do?
You ask
For love
And I
Say to you
What
Can I do?
You ask
For me
To tell you
How you
Should feel
And I
Tell you
This.
"Soul of a mage,
Mind of a wizard,
Heart of a warrior"
And you
Only sneer
And do not
Understand.
And
If you
Don't accept
I
Cannot give.
A Fool
3/26/99
A fool to give you half my heart,
A fool to pour out my feelings into your hands.
A fool to believe that anyone could like me for who I am.
A fool to wish, and
A fool to hope those wishes could come true.
A fool to hope,
A fool.
Robbery
3/26/99
You wish and dream,
And one day
It is revealed to you that
All you wishes and hopes and dreams
Are nothing but hopeless folley,
And impossible. Totally and completely
Impossible.
You are robbed-
Of hope.
Tired
3/26/99
Tired of being lied to.
If they don't like me, they should say.
TIred of not being told
That my hopes are hopeless.
Tired of being used
As a thing to throw away,
Tired of life.
I wish to dream
POSSIBLE dreams.
I am tired of life...
And wish to sleep.
After Midnight
by Mercedes Lackey
In the dead, dark hours after midnight, when the world seems to stop in its place,
You can see a little more clearly, you can look your life in the face;
You can see the things that you have to, speak the words too true for the day.
In the dead, dark hours after midnight, little friend, will you listen- and stay?
In the time when I never knew you, I could view the world as my own-
I was God's own gift to his creatures, and I wore an armor of stone.
I was wise and faithful and noble- I was pompous, pious and cold.
I was cruel when I never meant it- far too cool to touch or to hold.
It was you who broke through my armor; it was you who breached through the wall,
With your pain and your desperation- how could i not answer your call?
How could i have guessed you would touch me, and in a way I couldn't control?
How could i have known I would need you- or have guessed you'd seen my soul?
For as I taught you, so you taught me, me how to love and why to care-
For your love has thawed my winter, taught me how to feel and dare.
When i looked tonight, i discovered I could not again stand apart-
In the dead dark hours after midnight, i learned that I owe you my heart.
