~~Burnt Bridge~~

I burnt my bridge today and cast myself into loneliness again
I did it not with courage, but to punish myself again.
You see, the only life that's touched me, that's both stroked and cut my heart,
Is a life I cant share, I'm on the outer, yearning hopelessly, always apart.

I chose my words with anger and with cold intent,
Knowing they would chip one more piece of love not meant.
I needed to confirm again my uselessness and pain
I've done it well. He wont be back again

It feels not real and even as my loneliness engulfs me
The core of me still clutches blindly at what used to be
For my heart needs neither bridge nor reason
It's merged with his, despite my words of treason

But I burnt the bridge today, and left myself an island,
No way back, no sign nor hope of his helping hand
Instead he watched my cold self-spiteful rage-
Burnt bridge, cold comfort, a turned page.

12 November 1999

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