Chapter 41

Maggie moved over to sit next to Justin. She bent her knees up to her chest and hugged them as she kicked her sandals off. She took another deep breath to steady herself. 'Here goes.' "Okay Justin, I haven't told you the complete truth about my past," she started. He looked at her confused. "Yeah I went out with Ryan, and yeah he went to Florida State to play football, but there's more to it than that," she said looking out into the water. "Okay," he replied, completely lost.

"I was a freshman when I met Ryan. He was a junior, a football player, popular, perfect type of guy. Almost every girl in the school was in love with him. So when he asked me to Homecoming, I thought it was some type of joke. Why would he want me out of anyone in the school?" she asked herself. "But it wasn't a joke, we went to the dance, and he asked me out, and I was so happy. It was like a dream come true. Over the next two school years, I grew closer to Ryan than anyone ever before. He knew every single one of my hopes, dreams, and fears. I couldn't even imagine the day that I would stop loving him," she said, her eyes full of tears. Justin didn't know why she was telling him all of this, but he felt awful for her.

"He was a great football player, almost every school in the country wanted him. But it was his dream to go to Florida State and play football. So even though it hurt to see him leave, I assured him that I wanted him to go and achieve his dreams. It was awful not having him with me, but we stayed close, we talked on the phone all the time, and he came to visit for Thanksgiving. Then around the beginning of December, this was my junior year, I remember he became really distant. He never had time to call and when I called him he could never talk. I never understood it. My parents surprised me with a Christmas present to fly down and surprise him then fly back home with him for Christmas," she continued. "So I fly down there, and a couple of his friends help me find his room. I knock, but he doesn't answer, and it's unlocked, so I walk in. What's it going to hurt? Well, I walked in on him..and..and..one of the head cheerleaders having sex," she said crying.

Justin sat there shocked. He knew Ryan broke her heart, but he never knew it was in such a cruel way. He had never felt so bad for someone as he did for her at that moment. He put his arm around her shoulder softly and urged her to keep going. She took another steadying deep breath to calm her tears.

"It turns out that they'd started going out around the beginning of December, when he started becoming so distant. I'll never forget the way I felt when I saw it. It was the most awful feeling in the world and I'll never forget it as long as I live," she said, starting to cry again. Justin tried to say something, but she stopped him. "Needless to say, we broke up. And I came home and I'd never been so miserable in my life. I went into such a deep depression, I couldn't eat, so I became anorexic, and I went from around 140 pounds to 97 pounds in about a month," she said. That explained why she was so self-conscious about her body. "I didn't want to do anything, nothing with my friends or my family. I just wanted Ryan back, but he didn't want me. Around then my mom and I started fighting everyday, she thought it was my fault that Ryan and I had broken up, and she resented me for it. I couldn't take it anymore," she cut herself off as she started crying again.

"It's okay Maggie, just cry," Justin urged her hugging her. A few minutes later she sat back up again. "So I attempted suicide," she whispered, looking out into the water again, as a few raindrops fell from the sky. Justin's mouth dropped open in shock. He never would've expected this in a million years. Some of the shock turned into anger, as he thought about all the lies she had told him by now. "I've been in therapy since then, and I'm okay now, but I still have a few more months of it before I'm done. Remember the day we met, in the hospital, and I said I was visiting my Grandma?" she asked him. He nodded in reply. "Well I was really there for therapy that day," she said looking down to her lap.

Justin removed his arm from her shoulder and scooted away from her a few inches. She looked at him with a hurt look. "So it's all been lies, right from the beginning? What else don't I know about you, Maggie? Are you a secret call girl on the side too?" he asked bitterly as the rain began to fall harder. She looked at him shocked. "Of course I'm not, God, I thought you would understand, you out of all people, I thought would understand. I couldn't tell you at first, I was afraid you'd think I was some nutcase. Sorry the first time I met you I didn't want to say, "yeah I'm here because I attempted suicide because my boyfriend broke up with me" I doubt you'd be here with me now," she said angrily.

He shook his head, as if he was trying to reason all of this. "I can't believe this. I can't fucking believe this," he said, only he yelled the last sentence. "Justin, please understand I couldn't tell you, it's not the easiest thing in the world to tell someone," she tried to reason with him. "You could've told me the truth, Maggie, and yeah I am the kind of person that would understand this, at first, if you would've told me a month ago, but not now Maggie, not after you've been lying to me for a whole month, how do I know what else you're keeping from me?" he asked angrily. "Justin I'm not keeping anything else from you, you have to believe me," she asked. "Yeah, just like I believed you were visiting your Grandma," he said shaking his head.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she couldn't believe this was happening. It was the complete opposite of what she thought would happen. "Justin," she squeaked out. He looked to her and saw the hurt, scared little girl he saw so long ago when he met her. And now Maggie saw that same hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said crying, as it began raining even harder on them. He shook his head again. "I'm sorry too, Maggie. I'm sorry I trusted you, I'm sorry I got so involved with you, and I'm sorry I fell in love with you," he said standing up. Those words completely shattered Maggie's heart into a million pieces. That was the worst thing he could possibly ever say to her.

"You don't mean that," she whispered, looking up to him and rising onto her knees. "Yeah, I do," he whispered, running a hand through his soaking wet hair. "It's over, goodbye Maggie," he said turning around and walking away from her. "Justin, no, please!" she screamed after him, reaching her arms out for him, but he was too far away. She kneeled there, her clothes and hair soaking wet, and watched him walk out of her life forever.

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