Past Movies

Here are the reviews of my past-rated films. I will try to keep it up-to-date, but I am something of a procrastinator, so your patience would be greatly appreciated. ;)Thank you.

Ahhh...Nostalgia...

• Shakespear in Love- (R) A well writen and wonderfully acted version of the mysterious Bard's life. Clever comedy and romance...but a little too much skin for my taste. $$$$. Rated 4-2-99.
• Pleasantville- (PG-13) A chaming allegory of modern-day freedom vs. old-fashioned morals, with enough dry humor to keep the cynics happy. A little slow at times, but all together a good film. $$$$1/2. Rated 4-9-99.
• The King and I- (G) I love this story and its music, and that's why this new animated version is so sad. Both have been ruined in the pursuit of a quick dollar. Little of the original charm remains, replaced by dumb comic padding that never really works. Go rent the 1956 version...or better yet, go see it on stage. $ Rated 4-16-99.
• The Life of Brian- (R) One of Monty Pyhton's bawdiest and most humorous movies, with some of the best comedic skits in the troupe's history (hint: Watch for the Juniper bushes and the stoning!). This is a strong comedy with plenty of tounge-in-cheek humor to keep people happy. $$$$ Rated 4-23-99.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000- (PG-13) MST3K is such a funny show, I can't believe it's being cancelled! This movie captures all the tounge-in cheek, sarcastic fun of the show with the same flair and abandon. The plot itself may be a little weak for some, but the jokes are well worth it! HAHAHA! $$$$$. Rated 4-30-99
• The Mummy- (PG-13) Plenty of post-mordem fun to be had by all in this little movie. Rotting mummies pop out of the walls and asymilate the organs of living people. The effects are cool, but this just ain't my type of movie. $$$. Rated 5-8-99.
• Evita- (PG-13) This is a good movie. Madonnna is almost the reincarnation of Eva Peron, and plays the role well. Antonio Banderas, as Che, is a little unpolished but charmingly intense. $$$1/2. Rated 5-14-99.
• Star Wars Episode I- The Phantom Menace- (PG-13) Another installment in George Lucas' epic saga. This one retains it's sense of grandeur, but looses it's original sharp wit somewhere. The Force, though, is still strong in the Skywalker family, as well as the Lucas Empire. $$$$. Rated 5-21-99.
• Enter the Dragon- (R) Bruce Lee's final movie and one that shows off his amazing ability to the fullest. He had a special, soft-spoken gravity about him that works well in this movie.$$$$ . Rated 5-28-99
• Austin Powers:The Spy Who Shagged Me- (PG-13) The shagadellic spy returns in this continuing spoof of spy movies. Dr. Evil gets more screen time, and so do many of the villans that make the movie funny. There's more physical comedy in this sequel than in the original, but Mr. Powers is still a groovy swinger. One gripe, though: Couldn't they have found a btter way to get rid of Vanessa?! Oh well. $$$$1/2. Rated 6-11-99
• Big Daddy- (PG-13) Adam Sandler is funny in this movie about adoption and parenthood. The film, though, looses steam somewhere after the 300th Hooters joke. The kid is cute, but some new humor would be greatly appreciated. $$$ Rated 6-23-99
• Tarzan- (G) This is The Mouse House's version of the Edgar Rice Burrough's novel. Tony Goldwyn is great as the voice of Tarzan, but Phil Collins' You'll Be In My Heart gets a little old after the fourth time. $$$ Rated 6-30-99.
• Varsity Blues- (R) This is a pretty good movie, despite the bloody football glory in it. It represents small-town life more than I'd care to admit (i.e. drunken parties and lame hangouts) and packs a good time into it's story of a football-obessed town and the ruhtless coach who lives there. Van Der Beek is a good brunette, too. $$$$ Rated 8-13-99.
• Eizabeth- (R) Another costume drama starring Joseph Feinnes, as well as the formidable Cate Blanchette as the equally formidable Virgin Queen. Plenty of (hell)fire and ice between the two, and a good ensemble besides. $$$ Rated- God Knows When ;)
• Victoria's Secret Due South-(NR, probably PG-13) This is a movie-worthy episode in two parts. Paul Gross plays Constable Fraser, an honorable man hoplessly in love with a woman he was duty-bound to arrest. Her name is Victoria, and she's out to get revenge...and keep Fraser for herself. Lucky con. $$$$$ Rated 11-18-99
• The Shawshank Redemption-(R)One of the most awesome movies never to win a Oscar, it stars Tim Robbins as an innocent man in a sadistic maximum security prison. Morgan Freeman is sympathetic as the long-time inmate he befriends. They are both incredible to watch. $$$$$ Rated 12-29-99
• Toy Story 2- (G) This is a kid flick, but even my father appreciated it, so you know it has to be funny. And it is. Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are just as funny in cartoon form as they are in real life, if not more so....and the story is truly clever and thought-provoking. $$$$ Rated 1-28-2000
• Conspiracy Theory- (R) This is sort of a comedy noir. Mel Gibson stars as a fanatical New York cab driver who may not be as crazy as he seems. Julia Roberts is the object of his obsession, who finds herself strangely drawn to this intrguing everyman/maniac. A little far-fetched, but still very entertaining. $$$$ Rated 2-20-2000
• Gladiator- Woo hoo! This movie is great! It had a surprisingly coherent plot for a summer movie. And Russell Crowe's portrayal as Maximus was really stellar. Really. Connie Neilsen is great and gutsy, too.Avoid it if you hate blood, becaus ethere's plenty of it, but other than that, see it! $$$$$ Rated 5-12-2000
• X-Men- Also a good summer flick. The plot's good, although the way they leave you hanging at the end is a cheap trick. Other than that, I was pleasently surprised: They managed to make a movie out of a comic book that doesn't suck! And Hugh Jackman (Wolverine) is the man. $$$$ Rated- sometime last summer

Back to the Cafe

Back