Feeling blue? Here
are a couple of jokes to cheer up your grumpy mood! Just read
them and weep - I mean laugh! Have fun!!!!
If you have any good jokes, please send them to me at fairae@hotmail.com. Thanx. This page is still under construction so any jokes you have will do!
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March 4, 1997
Donations for O.J.
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's
stopped in traffic and thinks, "wow, this traffic seems worse than
usual, we're not even moving."
He notices a police officer walking down the highway in between the
cars and he rolls down his window and says, "Excuse me officer,
what's the hold up."
"O.J. just found out the verdict, he's all depressed. He's lying down in
the middle of the highway and he's threatening to douse himself in
gasoline and light himself on fire. He just doesn't have $8.5 million
dollars for the Goldmans. I'm walking around taking up a collection
for him."
The man says,"oh really, how much have you got so far."
"So far....ten gallons.
A FEW GOOD BUMPER STICKERS - PART 1 "Change is
inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Out of my mind. Back in
five minutes." "Cover me. I'm changing lanes." "As long as there are
tests, there will be prayer in public schools" "Laugh alone and the
world thinks you're an idiot." "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other
times I let him sleep" "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather....
...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...." (They
were screaming "stop reading that insanely long bumper sticker and
watch the road!!!") "The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "I didn't
fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian." "Your kid
may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" "It's as BAD as
you think, and they ARE out to get you." "When you do a good deed,
get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS." "Smile, it's the second
best thing you can do with your lips." "Friends don't let Friends drive
Naked." "Wink, I'll do the rest!" "I took an IQ test and the results were
negative." "Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!" "It's
lonely at the top, but you eat better." "Make it idiot proof and someone
will make a better idiot."
3 Guys in Heaven
Three guys die and go to heaven. The first goes up to St. Peter who
says, "I have only one question before you go into heaven: Were you
faithful to your wife?"
The guy answers, "Yes, I've never even looked at another women."
St.Peter says, "See that Rolls-Royce over there? That's your car to
drive while you're in heaven."
The second guy gets the same question, and answers, "Once I strayed,
but I confessed to my wife and she forgave me and we worked it out."
St. Peter says, "See that new Buick over there, that's your car to use in
heaven."
The third guy answers the same question, "I have to admit, I've chased
every girl I saw, and was with a lot of women."
St. Peter says, "Okay, but you were basically a good guy, so that old
VW Bug over there is yours to use while you're in heaven.
The three guys go off on their separate ways.
A few weeks later, guy #2 and guy #3 are driving along when they see
guy #1's Rolls Royce parked outside of a bar. They stop and go into
the bar andfind guy #1 with empty bottles all around him, face down
with his face in is hands on the bar. They come up to him and guy #2
says, "Bud, what could possibly be so bad-you're in heaven, you drive
a Rolls Royce, and everything is great!"
He says, "I saw my wife today!" The other two answer, "That's great!
What's the problem?"
He answers, "She was riding a skateboard!"
