Groovy Baby Yeah! An Austin Powers/SM Crossover By PikaPicka6 "Oh, I am soooooo late!" Serena yelled to no one as she ran to the Crossroads Jr. High. The late bell had already rang, and classes well into session. She turned the corner and smaked right into Darian. She fell over, adding another self-inflicted wound to her leg. She began to cry. Darian rolled his eyes. "Stand up Meatball Head. Do you always run into people like that?" Darian complained as he walked past her. "Oooooooo! I hate that guy! Ah! School! I almost forgot!" She ran off to school, dropping the Moon Septor along hte way . . . "Serena, what's today's excuse?" Mrs. H asked when Serena tumbled into class, knocked over a box of chalk, tripped over the spilt pieces, and skidded to a halt near her desk. She panted as she looked up. "W-well, huff huff, Mrs. H, huff, I have a perfectly good excuse! I was up at 6:00 on the dot! Then as I took my merry time coming to school, I, uh, was attacked! Yeah, attacked! It was horrible! I mean, this HUGE dog knocked me over, it was soooo big! I was so scared, but I pulled out some kung-fu on his behind, and-" "Serena, you couldn't inflict pain on anyone but yourself. DETENTION!" "Awwwwwwwww!" Later that day, after detention, Serena stormed home. Stupid Darian! she thought. If he hadn't knocked me over, I just might have made it on time! She stomped past the arcade, and saw Andrew inside. Her thoughts brightend. Well, well! Maybe this day can get better! She walked through the double doors. I'll just gracefully walk up to him, and casually ask him- "Ahhhhhhh!" The double-doors closed on her butt as she walked in. She tripped into the SailorV game, bounced off into the path of a girl coming in, got knocked over to the floor, and got stepped on the head. "Yeeooouuuccchhhh!" "Hey, what are you doing, moron! I was walking there! Geez! You don't just walk into someone's way, idiot. You're lucky I just stepped on your head!" A big, mean looking guy said as he lifted her by a pigtail up to his eye level. Serena had a bloody nose and now a very sharp pain in her head. "I'm gonna show you what happens to people who get in my way. . . " "Oooahahahahahah! Please don't . . . wahhh!" Serena pleaded. The big guy pulled his arm back, ready to sock her in the face. "Yahhhhhh!" "Ouch!Ah! My face!" Lita pulled her fist away from the bullies face, leaving her trademark fist implant. She cracked her knuckles and looked down at Serena. "You okay?" she asked. "Gee, thanks, Lita!" She stood up and Lita handed her a tissue. Serena stuck it up her left nostral to stop the blood flow. "So, what are you doin here today?" Serena said, voice muffled from her clogged nose. Lita tried not to laugh. "Well, I was just playing some video games. What are you doing?" "Well, I came to flirt with Andrew, And that's what I'm going to do!" Before Lita could inform her that the tissue was still lodged in her nose, she walke up to Andrew. "Hi Andrew! What's up?" she asked in her Steve Urkel voice. Andrew turned around his eyes got a tad big. "Well, I, um, I'm working . . ." he turned away and continued what he was doing, trying not to laugh. Serena looked ready to cry again as she shuffled her way back to Lita. "What's wrong with me, Lita? Why do guys always hate me?" she whined. Lita sighed, then broke out laughing. Serena looked at her. "Oh, that's real nice!" "No, no, that's not it. Hee hee! You had that tissue up your nose the whole time you were talking to him! Ha ha!" Serena had a look of hate on her face. "Why did you let me go up to him like that?!" she yanked the tissue out of her nose. Suddenly, the back wall of the Arcade burst open, and everyone screamed. A rather offish creature came threw the opening. Lita and Serena looked at each other. They both whispered, "Negaverse!" "Sorry folks, do you know the way to the nearest buffet?" the fat creature asked. It wasn't a Negeverse creature, but a fat man. The girls sighed. They turned away. "I asked for the nearest buffet! No one answered! I am not a happy man! But I'm dead sexy!" the fat man bellowed. "Serena! It's Fat Bast**d! From Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me!" Lita gushed out. Serena's eye's widened. "Lita! Austin Powers shagged you?!" "No, Serena, It's a movie. Either way, we have to transform!" Lita grabbed her and dragged her to a closet. Andrew was in there making out with Rei. They both looked up in surprise. "Um, hi?" Rei managed. Lita grabbed her arm. "Hey!" They went to the next closet, and threw Melvin out, who was cowering in fear. Inside . . . "Moon Crystal Power!" "Mars Star Power!" "Jupiter Star Power!" They all rushed out, to see Sailor Mercury,Venus, Pluto, Neptune, and Uranus run into the Arcade. They all looked at each other. "Let's do it!" "Gladly! Look at me, I'm sooooo sexy!" Fat Bast**d said. "Ewwwwwwww!" they all yelled. "World Shaking!" Uranus yelled, and blasted him. He stood ground. "He's too fat! He can't be knocked down!" Fat Bast**d laughed. "I can do that too!" He jumped up and down, making the Arcade shake in ways unimaginable. Mercury ran forward. "Shine Aqua Illusion!" Mercury cried, blasting him with water. The water washed food off him and his fat jiggled. "Ha ha ha!" he bellowed. Mercury ran back, not wanting to get to close. Mars stepped forward bravely. "Mars Flame Sniper!" she screamed, launching an arrows at it. Fat Bast**d laughed, but suddenly stopped. Her arrow burned his little Scottish hat off. He glared at the Scouts. "That's it! I'm gonna get you! I want my Sailor Scout, Sailor Scout, Sailor Scout, Sailor Scout, Sailor Scout, Sailor Scout Ribs! I want my Sailor Scout Ribs! The Arcaddddde, has Sailor Scout Ribs!" It charged at the scouts, squashing Pluto, Naptune, Mars, and Mercury along the way. It turned to Sailor Moon. "I'm gonna eat you first!" He reached out to her, and a rose cut it's arm. "Ah! Me arm!" I creid out, spit flying out of it's mouth. Tuxedo Mask wiped the saliva off his face. Sailor Moon looked at him. "Oh Tuxedo Mask, what should I do?!" she asked. He looked at her. "Use your Moon Septor!" he cried. She reached behind her back to find . . . nothing. "Ahoahohah! It' gone! My Septor!" she cried. they all looked around. "Oh no! now what?" Jupiter asked. Suddenly a car pulled up in front of the Arcade. Out hoped a man in a velvet crushed suit, frilly shirt, Italian leather boots, and black rimmed glassess. Sailor Moon screamd. "IT'S AUSTIN POWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All the remaining Scouts screamed and ran up to him. "Yeah Baby, yeah!" "Oh Austin! I love you!" Serena squelled. Tuxedo Mask walked up to her. "Um, hello?! We were detined to be together!" he whined. Sailor Moon looked at him. "Yeah, in about 2000 years or whatever!" she turned back to Austin. Mars was hanging onto his arm. "Oh Mr. Powers! You're SOOO groovy!" she said. "Shagadelic baby, but I've got work to do. Wait a tick, I'll be right back." he walked back to the Swinger and pulled out the Moon Septor. He walked up to Sailor Moon. "Is this your bag, baby?" he asked. Sailor Moon took it. "Oh, thank you Austin!" she pecked him on the cheek. "Oh behave!" "Okay, here I go!" She turned to Fat Bast**rd. Raising the Septor, she said . . . "MOON . . . SEPTOR . . . ELIMINETION!" Nothing happened. "WHAT?!?!?!" "No, baby, like this." Austin took the wand and pointed it at Fat Bast**d. And said . . . "SLIMFAST . . . LIPOSUCTION . . . ACTIVATION, baby yeah!" Fat Bast**d blew up into millions of lard pices, and coated the walls with fat. Serena flung herself around Austin. "Take me, I'm yours!" "Groovy baby!" Sailor Moon and Austin ran out to the Swinger. Austin threw Felicity Shagwell out of it, and they took off. Tuxedo Mask walked up to Felicity. "So, you got a boyfriend anymore?" he asked. "Aw geez. I guess you'll do . . . " she said. They took off together. The other Scouts, the flattened ones now normal again, detransformed. "Well, that sucks! We don't have boyfriends!" Lita complained. Haruka and Michuru walked off together. The other Scouts all stood pouting. Suddenly, A rocket burst out of the sky. All the Scouts looked up, and Lita said . . . "Woa! That rocket looks exactly like a man's-" "Hot dog! That's what I'm getting after we leave." Ami said. "Woa! That rocket looks like a-" "Joystick! That Sailor V game is missing it's joystick. Must have gotten knocked off after the explosion," Setsuna noticed. "Holy cow! that rocket has-" "Two quarters! Wow, they were just there on the gound!" Rei picked them up. "Geez,that roket looks like a-" "Dick! Guys, remind me to call Dick when I get home," Mina declared. The rocket landed. A bunch of misty stuff blew out from the opened door. Out stepped Dr. Evil and Minime. The girls gasped. "At last, Mimime! We have arrived back on Earth! At last I can eat Hot Pockets again. Let's go take over the world," Dr. Evil said, as Rei ran up to him. "Take over the world? As in total power?" Rei asked. Dr. Evil put his pinky in his mouth. "Perhaps . . ." "Take me with you! I must have the power! I'll rule!" "First, who are you?" Dr. Evil asked. "I am Sailor Mars!" Rei cried out, and laughed like a maniac. "Sailor Mars? What is that? Look people, I've been in space for two frikin' years, ok? Throw me a bone here, people! Mkay?" "God, you are a loser," Scott Evil said, coming around the corner. Dr, Evil looked at him. "Scott, my boy! Give daddy a hug!" he said, walking up to him. "No way, you lazy-eyed freak!" He ran behind Ami for a sheild. Dr. Evil looked surprised. "Scott, do you have a sister?" "No, but I wouldn't know, you freak. I didn't even know you were my father for like years. Now I wish I still didn't." "Well, you're hair is the same color . . ." "Oh, it is, isn't it?" Ami said. Dr. Evil walked up to them. "Come on, hug time! Both of you!" Dr. Evil waddled up to them. Scott grabbed Ami's hand and they both ran for their lives. Dr. Evil frowned then looked around. "Minime? Minime? Oh come on, Minime. I really need to put a bell on him . . . Oh, there you are, Minime!" Mina screamd when she realized Minime was on her head. It flew off when she shook her head around, and she and Setsuna ran away. "I'll get you for this, Sailor V! Come Minime, let us go to my Secret Volcano Lair surrounded by Liquid Hot Magma!" Rei followed them, and the world was once agian in danger from Dr. Evil! Well, not really. BUM BUM BUM!!!!! The End Or not? Will Austin Powers and Serena defeat Rei and Dr. Evil? Will Scott and Smi fall in love because of their hair? And when will Felicity realize Darian is a loser? Find out next time! Mwahahahahahahaha!