The Wisdom of The Great One,Homer Simpson.

• "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."
  
  
• "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
  
  
• "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
  
  
• "Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
  
  
• "If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
  
  
• "I want to share something with you - three sentences that will get you through life: Number one, 'Cover for me.' Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'"
  
  
• "Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"
  
  
• "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
  
  
• "Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church?
  
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