Escape!!... Some Useful Work Phrases!

Work Phrases

Useful Work Phrases

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I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

My reality check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question,
"How would the Lone Ranger handle this?

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• How about never...Is never good for you?
  
  
• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  
  
• Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  
  
• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  
  
• Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again!
  
  
• I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  
  

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• The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  
  
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  
  

  
  
  

• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  
  
• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and foolish.
  
  
• What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  
  
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  
  
• Thank you! We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  
  
• It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  
  
• Yes, I am an agent of BLANK, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  
  
• No, my powers can only be used for good.
  
  
• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  
  
• You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication!
  
  
  
  
• Are you a ray of sunshine every day?
  
  
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  
  
• I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
  
  
• I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  
  
• Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  
  
• My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
  
  
• It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
  
  
• At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  
  

I used to have a job where I worked 40 hours a week.
Life was easy,and I had time for people.
Then in August, my job became a 60 hour a week job.
And, it is one surprise after another.

How I long for the end of a workday!         Does anyone else agree?

Updated on April 12th, 2006
By,
Cheyenne

WORK IS THE PITS!!!

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