===========================================================
Lindsey had no idea where he was. He was standing alone in a field, grass flowing gently in a breeze, nothing else around. There were no trees, no houses, only the field for miles. As far as he could see was green.
"She needs you t' say you're sorry." Someone spoke and Lindsey turned toward the voice.
A young man stood there wearing black pants and a hideous green shirt. He had dark brown hair and green eyes, speaking with a slight Irish accent.
Lindsey cocked his head. "Who are you?"
The young man smiled. "The name's Doyle. I was a friend of Angel's."
"Grace's brother." Lindsey said. "I read her file."
"Of course, the file on my baby sister." Doyle smiled again. "You knew that entire time that if you had ever touched her, if you had ever been even slightly close to killing her, you would have died that instant."
It was Lindsey's turn to smile. "How could that happen?"
"I died nobly. I have a few connections here and there." Doyle shrugged. "Who knows? I coulda struck you with lightening. But it never got t' that point."
"I nearly killed her once. I had my hand around her throat and . . ." Lindsey cringed, unable to finish his sentence.
"Nah, Angel had that situation totally under control m'friend. I had no doubt he'd be there for her." Another wistful smile touched Doyle's lips. "He's so in love with th' girl that he'd kill himself if he had t'."
"And then I saved her." Lindsey told the half demon.
This comment brought a wider smile to Doyle's face. "I know, I watched it all. I was so proud of ya then. You did good. And now you need to finish it."
Lindsey frowned. "Finish what? The only thing I can do now is ride out the situation I'm in and hope I'm not killed at the end of it."
Doyle shook his head. "They'll be willing t' take you in if you can just say you're sorry. Sorry for what you've done to all of them, to my sister and to yours."
"Grace reminds me a lot of my sister."
Doyle nodded. "I know m'friend. That's why you just have t' say you're sorry. Just to my Gracie and that's all. Everything will be better from there on."
Lindsey turned away from him. "How can I possibly apologize for what I've done to them? For what I've done to her? God, I am such a jerk. The things I've done, they can't possibly be forgiven."
"You never know 'till you've tried. She forgave me."
Lindsey snorted and turned back. "What did you ever do to your sister?"
"I left her and my mother with money hungry demons wanting the debt I owed 'em. They went after my family time and again." Doyle smiled. "And miraculously, she still loves me. I never even got the chance t' say I'm sorry. But you have that chance."
"How can two words make everything better?" Lindsey asked. "How can I ever put all my feelings of regret and sorrow into two little words?"
Doyle smiled. "As I said. You never know 'till you've tried. I'll talk t' you later Lindsey. I have another stop t' make t'night."
Lindsey again stood alone in the field, staring at the sun that had now begun to set.
He woke up with a start again, but this time he heart wasn't pounding. His breathing was normal and he wasn't sweating. Lindsey gently sat up and looked around. His bedroom looked the same, his vision wasn't blurred and he wasn't having terrible pangs of guilt.
He smiled slightly. He'd never known what a blessing some dreams could be.
Grace didn't understand where she was. Trees grew all around her and she stood by a shallow stream of water, running so slowly it was almost completely silent. She frowned, confused at her new surroundings and turned in a slow circle, expecting to see something familiar.
What she never expected to see was Doyle.
Her eyes widened. "What's going on?"
"I told him. That he needs t' apologize t' you."
Grace shook her head. "What? I don't understand."
"I told you, 'fight the good fight'. Didn't you hear me?" He asked.
"I heard you Doyle, I just . . . I thought I was imagining things."
Doyle shook his head. "It was me Gracie. But someone had t' tell him. They sent me. I talked to the man and I told him what t' do."
"You told Lindsey he has to say he's sorry?"
"He understands now what should be done. I told him that he'd never understand the depth of forgiveness until he gave it a shot." Doyle told her.
Grace sighed. "But will he ever say it? Will he ever work up enough courage to say he's sorry?"
Doyle shrugged. "I can't help you there. That part is all up t' him." He smiled. "I think he's got it though Gracie. I'm pretty sure the man can do it. He's not as bad as everyone thinks he is."
"I know that."
"I think he'll come though for all of you."
"This is a dream, isn't it?" She asked.
Doyle nodded. "It is. I'm sorry."
She smiled sadly. "You're not really my Doyle?"
"Not really. Just his form with some of his memories. But that was your Doyle talking to you in that room. Never doubt that."
Grace swallowed and nodded. "I miss him."
"He misses you. He misses all of you. And he can see you whenever he feels the need t' take another look at the beautiful woman you've become."
She smiled. "I love you Doyle. I wish I could have said it sooner."
"I love you too Gracie. Be good for me."
A short laugh escaped her. "Just like you were always good with your drinking and gambling?"
Doyle smiled. "Be better than me. Be better."
She stood in the forest a moment longer, staring at the place he had been. She'd never felt such an incredible void in the pit of her stomach, never felt the tearing of her heart like she did now.
"Fight the good fight Gracie."
She smiled, biting back tears.
"Why can't we give Holland Manners the same chance we're giving Lindsey McDonald?" Angel asked, standing in the white room of the oracles. "Grace said Lindsey will live if he apologizes. Why not Holland?"
There was silence for a long time, then the female oracle sighed. "I feared you'd come asking that question. I also fear you won't like the answer I have to give you."
"Just you this time?" Angel asked. "Where's your brother."
"Enjoying his eternal slumber." She responded simply, then continued. "Holland Manners is beyond redemption. His soul is no longer a part of his body, it's been killed in the process of the old man he's become."
"There's no chance of redemption?" Angel asked.
"I'm afraid not. The Powers That Be wish to save all they can, but Holland Manners . . . he's no longer in a situation where they can save him. His soul was purged away when the evil swept through him. Lindsey still has the guilt and the remorse it takes to become human again. You of all people should understand that Angel."
"That's not fair."
"You're not the one that gets to decide what is and isn't fair Angel." She told him. "Neither are we. We can only tell you what must be done and in the case of Holland Manners, the only way to rid the world of his ways is to kill him. I wish I could tell you otherwise Angel, but I can't."
"What about Lilah Morgan?" He asked.
The female oracle paused. "The woman you speak of is dead."
"I know, but if she were still alive, would she have a chance?"
"No. She was almost as far along as Holland himself is now. The woman didn't have a pure soul to begin with, only fear and evil. She thrived on it."
"So out of all those people, I can only save one?"
"Isn't that better than being able to save none?" She asked.
Angel paused for a long moment and sighed. "He tried to kill Grace."
"Doyle was looking after her. Your seer hasn't finished his job for you, you do know that?" She asked.
"Doyle? How can his job not be over?"
She laughed slightly. "He loves all of you too much to let you go that easily. He still watches over you, still helps you along when he can. He still feels for you and he'll not let that go easily. He'll watch over you until you join him. "
"I'll never be able to join him."
"Once your earn your humanity Angel, your slate is wiped clean. You can then decide to make yourself a better person than you were before, or you can decide to fall into your own ways. You have a second chance."
Angel sighed, then nodded. "Thanks for your time."
"Oh Angel." She called.
"Yeah?"
"You're going to love being human. Even more than you did last time. That temporal fold was the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm extremely happy you'll be getting your second chance. Don't ask for another fold, because it will never happen. "
Angel smiled. "Thanks. I'll see you around."
"Good bye Angel."
As the vampire with a soul stepped back through the wall, a dim image of the female oracle appeared and she watched him leave, smiling slightly.
"Good luck." She whispered, then she was gone.
Lindsey sighed as he stared at the front door of Angel's office. He knew they were all inside, waiting for him to come and he didn't want to face them. But he knew what he had to do.
He gently touched the bruise on his forehead and his split lip, remembering the night before in his apartment. Without knowing why, he had spent nearly an hour, rolling on his bathroom floor in a fit of laughter. He hadn't been able to catch his breath or to stop laughing and it had scared him. Lindsey was terrified of what Darla was doing to his mind.
*They'll kill you the moment you step through the door.* Darla's voice said in the back of his mind. *They don't want to help you. Doyle lied. You're as good as dead Lindsey.*
Lindsey threw his shoulders back slightly, then forced himself to ignore the voice as he mounted the stairs. He took them slowly, bracing himself for whatever could happen when he walked through the door.
Sighing, he reached out and opened the door, stepping into the office. Cordelia and Wesley both looked up when he walked in from where they sat together on the couch. Gunn raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, then turned to stare at Angel and Grace. The vampire frowned slightly, then bit his lip and waited.
Grace was the first one to stand up. Angel reached out to stop her, but she brushed off his hand and walked toward the lawyer.
"Lindsey." She said and nodded slightly. "What happened?"
His fingers gently brushed his lip again. "Oh, uh, I had a run in with Spike. Seems he doesn't like me too much after the last fight."
"After you saved me?" She asked.
Lindsey met her eyes, then nodded. "Yeah. After I saved you."
"What the hell is he doing here?" Gunn asked finally, standing up and walking toward them. "Are we best buddies or something now, 'cause if we are, someone forgot to tell me."
Everyone ignored Gunn's outburst except for Angel, who simply placed his hand on the young man's arm and nodded toward the couch. Gunn sighed reluctantly and took a seat next to Wesley.
"I tried to write something out," Lindsey began, "to make some kind of speech to say to everyone, but that didn't work. Every time I thought of something good, it looked so practiced and so fake by the time I wrote it out on the paper. Nothing that I thought of was any good." His eyes met Grace's. "I asked him how I could possibly pour all my regret into two words, but he told me I could do it. He told me I'll know how."
Grace nodded. "He told me too. But can you do it?"
Lindsey stared directly into Grace's eyes. He waited until she finally met them and stared back so he knew she could see everything. "I'm sorry Grace."
She saw everything in that moment.
The regret, the sorrow, the pain he felt knowing it was his fault his family had died. The guilt he carried, the blame he held for no one but himself, the insanity that was tearing at the edges of his mind. The voices, the dreams, the hardships he'd gone though. Everything was sent through his eyes, into hers.
Angel stood up after she didn't say anything. "Grace?"
"Angel, I'm sorry." Lindsey said, turning his eyes to the vampire. Angel stopped, stared and nodded.
"Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn, I'm sorry." Lindsey told them, staring at them.
Cordelia looked away at first, then met his eyes and bit her lip.
Finally, after everyone had been silent, Grace spoke up. "I forgive you Lindsey."
"You didn't have to apologize to us." Angel said, "To save your life, you only had to apologize to Grace."
Lindsey frowned. "But I'm not just sorry for what I've done to her. I'm sorry for everything. Why would I apologize just to Grace? I've hurt all of you."
Angel watched the lawyer for a long moment, then smiled slightly. "He really means it." He said to Grace.
She nodded and smiled. "He really does."
The vampire looked at the lawyer, "Need a place to stay?"
Holland's face was set in grim determination, his fists clenched angrily on his desk. Spike and Darla were standing in front of him.
"He what?" Holland asked.
Spike smiled, happy to say the words again. "Fighting Angel didn't give Lindsey those bruises. I was going to kill the demon girl and he pulled me off. Fighting me gave him the bruises. He betrayed you Holland."
The elderly lawyer stood up slowly and walked around to the front of his desk. His eyes were flashing angrily as he turned to face the vampires.
"Kill him." Holland said. "I don't care what it takes, I want Lindsey McDonald dead."
The End